Ageing isn't fun, but it's better than death, by at least, ooh . . . 8%

Guardian ^ | 10/12/09 | Charlie Brooker

[LibWhacker]

I discovered George Osborne was younger than me. Only by two months. But still: younger

George Osborne's Tory conference speech last week left me in a state of shredded despair. Not because of anything he said, but because I'd just discovered he's younger than me. Only by two months, but still: younger. In a correctly functioning universe, my advanced age would make me his superior. If I deliberately knocked a glass of milk on to the floor, he'd have to clean it up. He'd be on all fours, scrubbing desperately at the floorboards while I sat back in my chair, resting my feet on his back, reading the Financial Times, occasionally glancing over the top to harrumph at his efforts, grinding my heel into his spine to underline each criticism. You missed a bit, boy. For pity's sake, show some gumption. Tongue, Osborne! Use your bloody tongue!

[Stentor]

This article is way gay.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Bernard Baruck, purportedly, on being asked how it felt to be 98, “Considering the alternative, wonderful.” I’m sure it’s been attributed to any number of people of differing ages.

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

A little due diligence shows that Bernard Barch died at age 94 and his Wiki article points out that he is often misquoted and misattributed. So maybe he was asked how if feld to be 98 when he was 15. You never know.

[Jack Hammer]

‘Ageing isn’t fun, but it’s better than death, by at least, ooh . . . 8%’

So... we’re assuming there’s no afterlife?