Skip to comments.
%%%%ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd%%%%
Posted on 06/19/2009 5:44:32 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Well....Fathers Day is this weekend, so I thought I'd give you some gift ideas....

Coughing and Screaming Ashtray
If nothing else works, pick up one of our specially designed ashtrays that looks like a real pair of lungs. Place a cigarette on it and it starts coughing and screaming! Uses 2 "AA" batteries, not included. 
Condiment Gun
Condiment Gun "Shoots" Ketchup And Mustard!
Blast away at burgers, wage war on weenies, lay siege to steaks, and assault those sausages with a flavorful squirt from the Condiment Gun! Load the cartridges with mustard, ketchup, steak sauce, or other non-chunky condiment, then let 'er rip!

Potato Pellet Gun
Unleash potassium-rich projectile warfare with the insidious potato pellet gun! Punch the barrel into a standard-issue potato, break off a pellet and bring it! Mostly harmless, the potato gun can shoot pellets up to 50 feet.

Brew-opoly
Here's a game for people who like to drink beer! In Brew-Opoly, buy or trade your favorite beers and increase property value by purchasing Brewpubs and Microbreweries. So choose your token and advance to Cheers!

Whistle and Find Remote Control
Are you one of the many television watchers that always loses your remote control? Well kiss those days goodbye because your savior is here! This great gadget is a simple device that sticks on to your remote to help you find it immediately! Just blow into the whistle transmitter (with TV caddy) and you'll be on your way to watching uninterrupted TV for hours! Comes with whistle transmitter and three flashing micro-recievers that attach to TV, VCR, DVD, and stereo remotes. 6 button cell batteries included.
Why waste precious time and energy trying to control the thoughts and actions of your significant other when you can automate the process? Just push a button and let our talking remote controller do it for you.
The mate remote delivers a riot of verbal one-offs and funny sound effects sure to keep your spouse on the right track.
2 AA batteries included.
The Control Your Man Remote features 18 saying including the following:
- "The Queen speaketh!"
- "Time to listen!"
- "What about my needs?"
- "What were you thinking?"
- "Whoa, ever hear of foreplay?"
- "Kiss me, you fool!"
- "Just tell me you love!"
- & more!
The Control Your Woman Remote features 18 saying including the following:
- "Zip it!"
- "Clean up on aisle four!"
- "All right, hand over the credit cards!"
- "Yeah baby, do that again!"
- "Feed me!"
- "I'm outta here!"
- & more!
Get Dad a new wallet!

TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: fathers; freepun; ofst; silliness
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-50, 51-100, 101-124 next last
How did they know?
| Your Daddy Is Dick Cheney |
What You Call Him: Daddy-o
Why You Love Him: He takes you to church |
To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; ...

SILLINESS




CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST
2
posted on
06/19/2009 5:46:34 AM PDT
by
Lucky9teen
(Revolution can't come soon enough......When is enough, ENOUGH?)
To: Lucky9teen
3
posted on
06/19/2009 5:47:09 AM PDT
by
Currentriverrat
(Stop cap and trade fraud.)
To: Lucky9teen
4
posted on
06/19/2009 5:47:58 AM PDT
by
arbooz
("Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man." H.L.Mencken)
To: Lucky9teen
5
posted on
06/19/2009 5:48:26 AM PDT
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: Lucky9teen
6
posted on
06/19/2009 5:48:46 AM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(A closed mouth gathers no feet)
To: Lucky9teen
Dads favorite fathers day present.
To: Lucky9teen
Lol... Wut?
To: Lucky9teen
In before the 450th post! (finally...)
9
posted on
06/19/2009 5:50:08 AM PDT
by
Hatteras
To: Lucky9teen
Wahoo! Top ten!
(Little things excite me. Just ask my ex.)
To: Lucky9teen
11
posted on
06/19/2009 5:51:59 AM PDT
by
arbooz
("Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man." H.L.Mencken)
To: JoeProBono
To: arbooz
13
posted on
06/19/2009 5:52:57 AM PDT
by
ShadowAce
(Linux -- The Ultimate Windows Service Pack)
To: Lucky9teen
14
posted on
06/19/2009 5:55:28 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: Lucky9teen
15
posted on
06/19/2009 5:56:19 AM PDT
by
CholeraJoe
(Waterboarding isn't torture. Listening to Miley Cyrus is torture.)
To: Lucky9teen
I had sinusitis and had to go to the Dr. I was given a Rx for nose spray. Good thing the box reminded me it was for my NOSE. There was even a handy picture is case I forgot where it was:
To: Lucky9teen
TOP TWENTY!
17
posted on
06/19/2009 5:56:57 AM PDT
by
Rummyfan
(Iraq: it's not about Iraq anymore, it's about the USA!)
To: synbad600
Oops, in case, not is case.
To: Lucky9teen
19
posted on
06/19/2009 5:59:05 AM PDT
by
Monkey Face
(RUN, SARAH, RUN! ~~ (Stolen from redhead))
To: arbooz
20
posted on
06/19/2009 5:59:26 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: Dead Corpse
21
posted on
06/19/2009 6:00:40 AM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(A closed mouth gathers no feet)
To: Lucky9teen
Wear this with your Calvim Klains:
22
posted on
06/19/2009 6:00:45 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: Lucky9teen
Dear ole dad.........
23
posted on
06/19/2009 6:01:29 AM PDT
by
Daffynition
("If any of you die, can I please have your ammo?" ~ Gator113)
To: Lucky9teen
This would work for a Father's Day present...

or if the kids are a little short on scratch then ....

will work!
24
posted on
06/19/2009 6:02:16 AM PDT
by
Syntyr
(If its too loud your too old...)
To: Lucky9teen
25
posted on
06/19/2009 6:02:31 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: Lucky9teen
26
posted on
06/19/2009 6:05:34 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: JoeProBono
In Chicago ours are controlled by party hacks.
27
posted on
06/19/2009 6:06:35 AM PDT
by
1010RD
(First Do No Harm)
To: Lucky9teen
Don't ask what you need the stick for...
28
posted on
06/19/2009 6:07:12 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: Lucky9teen
| Your Daddy Is George Clinton |
What You Call Him: Pops
Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings |
29
posted on
06/19/2009 6:09:40 AM PDT
by
Monkey Face
(RUN, SARAH, RUN! ~~ (Stolen from redhead))
To: Lucky9teen
Just in time for Father's day...
30
posted on
06/19/2009 6:10:10 AM PDT
by
Izzy Dunne
(Hello, I'm a TAGLINE virus. Please help me spread by copying me into YOUR tag line.)
To: 1010RD
31
posted on
06/19/2009 6:14:51 AM PDT
by
JoeProBono
(A closed mouth gathers no feet)
To: JoeProBono
I want mine to be out of kevlar and have an arrow, rocket, granade launcher or a shotgun or maybe all of it!
32
posted on
06/19/2009 6:16:12 AM PDT
by
1010RD
(First Do No Harm)
To: Lucky9teen
I took that Daddy quiz substituting a variety of names and it is sick, sick, sick! Perfect for FR!
Love your Father’s Day gifts!
33
posted on
06/19/2009 6:22:47 AM PDT
by
Bookwoman
("...and I am unanimous in this..")
To: ShadowAce
34
posted on
06/19/2009 6:23:57 AM PDT
by
arbooz
("Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man." H.L.Mencken)
To: Izzy Dunne
35
posted on
06/19/2009 6:28:32 AM PDT
by
arbooz
("Government is actually the worst failure of civilized man." H.L.Mencken)
To: Monkey Face
Punk rock...
| Your Daddy Is Ozzy Osbourne |
What You Call Him: Daddy-o
Why You Love Him: He takes you to Disneyland |
To: Lucky9teen
37
posted on
06/19/2009 6:33:34 AM PDT
by
workerbee
(If you vote for Democrats, you are engaging in UnAmerican Activity.)
To: Lucky9teen
38
posted on
06/19/2009 6:39:14 AM PDT
by
Squidpup
("Fight the Good Fight")
To: Lucky9teen
Why do we still have fathers day?
I have been watching TV commercials, sitcoms, and observing some coworkers. It seems that fathers are just bumbling idiots that are just merely tolerated by the women, even the children.
They can’t do anything right. They must be told how to dress, how to walk, how to talk. They best not make any independent decisions lest they get “in trouble”.
They just exist to be stupid and exist within shells of their former identity. An identity that has been crushed and replaced with a new one, carefully crafted by “the wife” for years. They simply just tiptoe around in their pink oxford shirts and try not to anger the women. Even the children are superior to these bumbling fools and will call them idiots straight to there faces. These men are constantly terrified of “the wife” and long for something as simple as a beer and a poker game.
But they know that is out of their reach and accept it. That would anger “the wife”.
Man calls woman stupid to her face = she is emotionally abused.
Woman calls man stupid to his face = room erupts in laughter.
Oh this is not silliness.... sorry.
39
posted on
06/19/2009 6:45:03 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Sexual Beer & BBQ Ribs)
To: envisio
Why do we still have fathers day? Because some of us are still Fathers and Husbands. We don't allow ourselves to be so easily marginalized and dumbed down.
Now put your man pants back on and quit whining. ;-)
To: Lucky9teen
41
posted on
06/19/2009 6:51:58 AM PDT
by
workerbee
(If you vote for Democrats, you are engaging in UnAmerican Activity.)
To: Lucky9teen
To: Lucky9teen
43
posted on
06/19/2009 7:10:16 AM PDT
by
diamond6
(Is SIDS preventable? www.Stopsidsnow.com)
To: Dead Corpse
I give myself my own Fathers Day gift.
aurrghg auurrggh aurrrgh
44
posted on
06/19/2009 7:24:24 AM PDT
by
envisio
(Sexual Beer & BBQ Ribs)
To: Lucky9teen
Yay, I’m in need for mucho silliness.
I hate your quiz tho’. It says my daddy is Mike Tyson!
Blech.
45
posted on
06/19/2009 7:28:13 AM PDT
by
CSM
(Business is too big too fail... Government is too big to succeed... I am too small to matter...)
To: Lucky9teen
To: envisio
Dude...Turn off the TV, and step into the light; There’s a whole ‘nother world out there!!
To: envisio
*oooohhhh*
Shiny!
We just moved into a new house a year ago. I'm still getting around to building up my "outdoor food prep" facilities. Getting a new roof, flooring, etc... kinda had to come first.
To: Lucky9teen
I'm from the government and I'm here to help
49
posted on
06/19/2009 7:40:20 AM PDT
by
Nateman
(If liberals aren't screaming you're doing it wrong.)
To: Lucky9teen
Flair Hair
50
posted on
06/19/2009 7:41:09 AM PDT
by
girlscout
(Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?)
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-50, 51-100, 101-124 next last
Disclaimer:
Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual
posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its
management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the
exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson