Posted on 08/01/2008 7:41:35 AM PDT by uzumaki_naruto
Hello: I am asking fellow freepers for a prayer request. Your help is much appreciated.
I met this woman recently that I feel very strongly about. I haven't felt this way for someone in a long time. I thought of giving up on women completely a few years ago.
The problem is...She's a bit reserved and defense. After several months of knowing, I decided to ask her out. While she said no, she didn't completely shut the door on me. She gave me her phone #, so there might be hope. I don't know exactly what happened in her past.
Can fellow freepers say a prayer for me, praying she'll change her mind?
Thank you so much and God Bless!
Shouldn’t you be going to e-Harmony with this?
Uzi-—She’s probably afraid of you because of your name.....I would change your name.
Prolly not worth it....
Keep looking. When you’re looking for a peach don’t pursue a pear thinking you can change it.
This is a very good idea. Go with it.
Best wishes for your relationship. My only advice, for what its worth, is have patience with her, be a good friend and be there for her when she needs you. That’s what people who are in love do, right? Don’t push it. Most women appreciate that approach and it would probably bring her around faster than if you tried to force the issue.
Jeez, I’m getting soft in my old age....lol. Just call me, “Dear Abby”. ;-)
How about giving her a call every once in awhile?
I know from personal experience that when you focus on winning the affection of a woman who turned you down, you will miss seeing all the other women that are waiting to say yes to you.
Please respect a womens right to discern just whom she wishes to be with. Obviously you have been rebuked once again. Do you not understand the meaning of “NO”.
You must keep away from her and the other women you have been annoying with your presence until you become a real man and have worth of value to offer another human.
Ummm.. projecting a bit? Why the assumption that he is a stalker?
I saw or read nothing in his post that indicates that he has problems with stalking.
She gave him her phone number so there must be at least a minor level of interest on her part.
My advice is — don’t push too hard. Things tend to unfold as they should. Be a good guy, a good friend, and a fun companion. Give her the opportunity to like you. And, if she isn’t the right one — then there’s another one right around the corner.
Also, pay no mind to those telling you to “give up on women”. Bitter individuals generally seek company.
H
>> Hello, take a shower, shave, put on your clean clothes, get hold of yourself and seek professional help. Do not continue to be a stalker.
Wow. Seek help, indeed. Merely pursuing a woman does not a stalker create.
>> Please respect a womens right to discern just whom she wishes to be with. Obviously you have been rebuked once again. Do you not understand the meaning of “NO”.
The thing is — “no” doesn’t always mean “no, absolutely not, get away from me, you creep”. Sometimes it means “not right now”, try again later. Sometimes it means “I’d like to continue the friendship and see where it goes”. She gave the dude her phone number ... clearly “no” wasn’t as absolute as you make it out to be.
Hell, “no” can sometimes mean “yes, but I’m being coy and playful”.
>> You must keep away from her and the other women you have been annoying with your presence until you become a real man and have worth of value to offer another human.
Perhaps you’re a little prone to snap judgments about a man’s worth. It seems to me that you’ve shown far less respect for individual humanity than he has. He values her, and pursues. You call him worthless, and condescend.
Get a grip.
H
Hello, nhoward14, you said....”I know from personal experience that when you focus on winning the affection of a woman who turned you down, you will miss seeing all the other women that are waiting to say yes to you.”
I will agree that you must have more experience in these matters than myself and I also will agree that your advice is much better than mine and I agree that I probably am “projecting” (is that a professional help term) and I’m now thinking that stalker is a bit strong and believe that “slug” is more appropriate.
Damn, I must be projecting again.
Actually, being the ‘nice friend’ is probably the worst thing you could do. Being the ‘nice friend’ will delegate you to that position forever.
My advice is to ignore her. That will increase her interest.
Sounds stupid, but it’s true. That doesn’t mean be a jerk, it just means back off.
But I am most curious as to just why, heck y'all would just assume that the phone number that the frightened woman gave the slug was a direct link to her and not some fabricated or even a relevant number that would have been of benefit for a slug in distress. Say the local mosque.
Nope. You are not projecting. You are just angry and mean.
>> Ooops, once again I must be wrong. First off; “get a grip” is exactly my advice to the slug.
That you’ve deemed him a “slug” simply for pursuing a woman says more about you than about him. Get a grip.
>> But I am most curious as to just why, heck y’all would just assume that the phone number that the frightened woman gave the slug was a direct link to her [...]
Why would you assume she was “frightened”?
H
You need to obtain wisdom from an American TV show known as “WKRP in Cincinnati”. Herb Tarlek told his colleague Les Nessman “Get her drunk, stupid!”
Gavin, is that you?
That's just my screen name. It's named after a Japanese manga character. He's the kind of person who never gives up and goes back on his word, something I try to do in my life.
To some of the freepers: I am not a stalker. She gave me her phone number. I haven't even tried to call her again. She said she would go out as friends but I don't know if she means it or not. She's been doing the cold and hot thing with me lately. I will try to ask her once again (the last time), but I want to proceed with caution and care because this is the last shot.
Thanks to everyone for their comments. God Bless.
I pray that I never have the complete misfortune to meet you.
I’ve found that setting myself on fire in their driveway is a great way to get a lady’s attention, although wearing coveralls filled with weasels works too.
oh, man...... this is just embarassing.
How do you “feel strongly” about a woman after a few months and never gone out and never had her phone number?????
I dated MrsEnvisio for a year among other women before I started “feeling strongly” about her.
And also.... if she don’t want to go out with you.... HELL WITH HER! Go find someone that will. They are a dime a dozen.
I will tell you this. If you keep begging her... its just gonna drive her away. Nobody likes a desperate guy. You gotta make her think she’s lucky you asked her. Not sitting around waiting to jump at her command.
She’s giving you the “cold and hot” thing lately? Not good. You don’t want that in your life.
When a relationship is right, no matter what you do it will work out.
When a relationship is wrong, no matter what you do it won’t work out.
i see you’re already here :)
Sounds like when my husband and I first started dating. I wanted nothing, and I mean NOTHING to do with him. He was persistent and so I finally went out on a date with him. It took a long time, but he eventually won me over. =) God’s Blessings to you!
TS, not everyone is sophisticated enough to pull off the weasel-coverall stunt.
UN, think back to grade school. When you liked a girl, you would punch her. If she liked you, too, she would punch you back.
I hope this helps.
Now, on a serious note - envisio gave you great advise. I'll "piggy-back" on it...
Women like confidence. They are usually drawn to someone who seems to know what the hell they're doing.
Think about it...
Thanks for trusting freepers,
truly an honor. Purse with the excitement she brings your heart. If she makes you skip a beat tell her.
My question is how strong is your main relationship.
If your doing well there then you have a basis for a
new relationship because it is your foundation for the next one. You don't have to be perfect but at least know the direction you want to go. Go for Her!
You deserve better. You don't want someone who plays games like a high-schooler. Everything you need to know about someone, you learn in the first couple of meetings (usually they tell you, but we are too blinded by lust to hear it and think they will change). If she's hot and cold now, she's only going to get more so if you are in a relationship.
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