Posted on 10/29/2007 9:20:02 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
(2007-10-29) — With the success of last week’s simulated news conference on the California wildfires by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), mid-level bureaucrats at the disaster-relief agency have reportedly initiated plans to stage “natural” disasters as well.
The imitation news briefing, which featured FEMA employees pretending to be genuine journalists, was “just a test run for the more ambitious pilot program of engineered catastrophes designed to help even out the work flow during the year,” according to one unnamed source inside the agency.
“Due to the unreliable nature of floods, wildfires, tornadoes and blizzards,” the source said, “FEMA employees have a lot of down time, during which there’s little else to do but post notes about their boredom on Facebook or Twitter, and of course, to manufacture realistic-looking PR events. When we start creating these centrally-planned natural tragedies on a quarterly basis, it will help to keep their minds engaged, and ultimately, will result in a more experienced crew to deal with the aftermath of unpredictable freelance disasters.”
Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff initially blasted FEMA staffers for faking the news conference, replete with “softball questions” designed to reflect well on the agency’s handling of the California wildfires. However, today, after watching video of the event, Mr. Chertoff released a statement noting “perhaps I was too harsh at first.”
“The video shows people pretending to be objective journalists in a simulated search for the truth,” Mr. Chertoff said, “In other words, it was just like a regular news conference, except this time the phony reporters actually knew something about the topic, behaved respectfully and didn’t try to make the story all about them.”
Man this guy is quick!
lol!
SO, FEMA gonna be staging itself??
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