Posted on 06/15/2007 5:24:19 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
To ALL Dad's - Have A Happy Father's Day!!!
When God Created Fathers
When the good Lord was creating fathers, He started with a tall frame.
And a female angel nearby said, "What kind of father is that? If you’re going to make children so close to the ground, why have you put fathers up so high? He won’t be able to shoot marbles without kneeling, tuck a child in bed without bending, or even kiss a child without a lot of stooping."
And God smiled and said, "Yes, but if I make him child size, who would children have to look up to?"
And when God made a father’s hands, they were large and sinewy.
And the angel shook her head sadly and said, "Do You know what You’re doing? Large hands are clumsy. They can’t manage diaper pins, small buttons, rubber bands on pony tails or even remove splinters caused by baseball bats."
God smiled and said, "I know, but they’re large enough to hold everything a small boy empties from his pockets at the end of a day…yet small enough to cup a child’s face." 
Then God molded long, slim legs and broad shoulders.
The angel nearly had a heart attack. "Boy, this is the end of the week, all right," she clucked. "Do You realize You just made a father without a lap? How is he going to pull a child close to him without the kid falling between his legs?"
God smiled and said, "A mother needs a lap. A father needs strong shoulders to pull a sled, balance a boy on a bicycle or hold a sleepy head on the way home from the circus."
God was in the middle of creating two of the largest feet anyone had ever seen when the angel could contain herself no longer. "That’s not fair. Do You honestly think those large boats are going to dig out of bed early in the morning when the baby cries? Or walk through a small birthday party without crushing at least three of the guests?"
And God smiled and said, "They’ll work. You’ll see. They’ll support a small child who wants to "ride a horse to Banbury Cross" or scare off mice at the summer cabin, or display shoes that will be a challenge to fill."
God worked throughout the night, giving the father few words, but a firm authoritative voice; eyes that see everything, but remain calm and tolerant.
Finally, almost as an afterthought, He added tears. Then He turned to the angel and said, "Now are you satisfied that he can love as much as a mother?"
And the angel shutteth up!
“A father's words are like a thermostat that sets the temperature in the house”
~ Paul Lewis
Wherever the weekend takes ya....enjoy the holiday, Dads!!!
My father think’s I’m bright...that’s why he calls me son.
What a wonderful post! Thanks for sharing!
That would explain why mine calls me “A$$hole.”
Hahahahahaha.
Ha!
Mine was sitting near them and cleaning my weapons, starting with my K-Bar!
In!!!
Happy Friday & Happy Father’s Day to all the Dads here.
A doctor walks in to an exam room, searching for a pen in his pocket.
The doctor pulls out a rectal thermometer and says “Dammit, some asshole has my pen”.
Breaking Home Ties (Norman Rockwell)
Always loved that sign.
Woo hoo! It’s Friday.
No, that wasn’t Cheryl, that was Spotbust1. I know that outfit anywhere. Only the really serious guys came back for a second date.
I am afraid that my husband will adopt this tactic with my daughter. :-)
Many, many years ago
When I was twenty three,
I got married to a widow,
Pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter
With flowing hair of red.
My father fell in love with her,
And soon the two were wed.
This made my dad my son-in-law
And changed my very life.
Now my daughter was my mother,
For she was my father’s wife.
To complicate the matters worse,
Although it brought me joy.
I soon became the father
Of a bouncing baby boy.
My little baby then became
A brother-in-law to dad.
And so became my uncle,
Though it made me very sad.
For if he was my uncle,
Then that also made him brother
To the widow’s grown-up-daughter
Who, of course, was my step-mother.
Father’s wife then had a son,
Who kept them on the run.
And he became my grandson,
For he was my daughter’s son.
My wife is now my mother’s mother
And it makes me blue.
Because, although she is my wife,
She’s my grandma too.
If my wife is my grandmother,
Then I am her grandchild.
And every time I think of it,
It simply drives me wild.
For now I have become
The strangest case you ever saw.
As the husband of my grandmother,
I am my own grandpa!
A Letter from College:
Dear Dad,
$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can’t think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.
Love,
Your $on
I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.
Dad
They are giving away FREE Bar-B-Que grills at the following stores: A&P, Costco, Food Lion, Fry's, Home Depot, Kroger, Big Lots, Lowes, Safeway, Sam's Club, Target, Trader Joe's, Wal-Mart, Winn-Dixie
I especially like the higher rack - which can be used for keeping things warm!
BEWARE! Some stores have cheap, plastic models that leave a funny taste in the food.
Now, when I was just a little boy,
Standing to my Daddy's knee,
My poppa said, "Son, don't let the man get you
Do what he done to me."
'Cause he'll get you,
'Cause he'll get you now, now.
And I can remember the fourth of July,
Running through the backwood, bare.
And I can still hear my old hound dog barking,
Chasing down a hoodoo there.
Chasing down a hoodoo there.
Having all these babies is hard work!
When a boy is 6 he idolizes his Father.
When a boy is 12 he questions his Father.
When a boy is 18 he rebels against his Father.
When a boy man is 24 he borrows money from his Father.
If Dads are so wonderful then why is it that every TV sitcom I see and EVERY SINGLE commercial I see has the Dad/Husband playing the role of a bubbling idiot?
Feminists have sought to demasculate men in general (and fathers in particular) since the 70’s. It’s a huge pet peeve of mine.
Homer Simpson has replaced Ward Cleaver, and society is NOT better for it.
yeah, right.. by the time i was 24, my dad was borrowing money from me.
Son, that was supposed to be just between us "guys."
ROFL!
As is Kevin's dad from The Wonder Years.
so who was the first of the real sissy dads then? alan thicke (growing pains)?
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