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BREAKTHROUGH!
Hooterville Weekly | 0426/07 | Kolar308

Posted on 04/26/2007 12:27:19 PM PDT by Kolar308

In a startling development, Acme-Atomic Neutronics has devloped a florescent, single sheet use, carbon neutral toilet paper. A spokesperson says the newly developed paper is solar powered and can be reused up to 50 times by liberal rock stars and producers of environmental scare movies.

"We know how the green crowd likes to make sure their private jets and tour bus toilets don't get clogged up by regular toilet paper so we worked night and day to come up with this environmentally safe solution."

To demonstrate the new paper, the spokesperson used the bathroom and then screwed the paper into a regular light receptacle to show how it worked. The odor was not unlike a kitty litter box attached to a lamp but it did seem to work. In twelve hours the paper was ready to get cracking again!

The company says they are also working on a line of clothing with the French that is sure to be a hit among Democrats in Congress. The clothing is called "Defeat Don't Fail Me Now". It is regular clothing with a yellow stripe down the back that glows bright yellow while retreating from global responsibilities. It is solar powered, carbon neutral, contains no meat by-products causes no headaches, gasious oily discharges or painful rectal itching.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: funnylibs; libsarefunny; lmao; lol

1 posted on 04/26/2007 12:27:22 PM PDT by Kolar308
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To: Kolar308

:)


2 posted on 04/26/2007 12:29:01 PM PDT by kinoxi
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To: Kolar308

Welcome to FR............now stop that!.......


3 posted on 04/26/2007 12:29:22 PM PDT by Red Badger (My gerund got caught in my diphthong, and now I have a dangling participle...............)
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To: Kolar308

Do you have a link to the article?


4 posted on 04/26/2007 12:30:03 PM PDT by DocRock (All they that take the sword shall perish with the sword. Matthew 26:52 ... Go ahead, look it up!)
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To: Kolar308
Ahhnold is such a ham!


5 posted on 04/26/2007 12:31:49 PM PDT by TexasCajun
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To: Kolar308

Nice ;-)


6 posted on 04/26/2007 12:32:14 PM PDT by Toadman ((molon labe))
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To: Kolar308

LOLOLOL


7 posted on 04/26/2007 12:32:47 PM PDT by Tribune7 (A bleeding heart does nothing but ruin the carpet)
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To: Kolar308

You are a nut. But, that’s OK. I like nuts.


8 posted on 04/26/2007 12:33:34 PM PDT by Dr. Thorne (Compromise on your vote and you get a compromised government.)
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To: Kolar308

Your first and only post?

not bad newbie


9 posted on 04/26/2007 12:34:00 PM PDT by digger48
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To: Kolar308
You can trust Acme products.

Their atomic division is the Bomb!

10 posted on 04/26/2007 12:34:09 PM PDT by battlegearboat
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To: Kolar308

On behalf of all butts international, you are thanked.


11 posted on 04/26/2007 12:34:19 PM PDT by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: Kolar308
The clothing is called "Defeat Don't Fail Me Now".

Good one.

12 posted on 04/26/2007 12:34:39 PM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: Red Badger
(My gerund got caught in my diphthong, and now I have a dangling participle...............)

Ouch! That brings back memories of diagramming sentences in grade school in the 1950's. Do they still do that?

13 posted on 04/26/2007 12:34:49 PM PDT by Dumpster Baby ("Hope somebody finds me before the rats do .....")
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To: Kolar308
Already posted
14 posted on 04/26/2007 12:36:01 PM PDT by NittanyLion
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To: Dumpster Baby

I don’t think so, but I actually LIKED diagramming sentences!...........


15 posted on 04/26/2007 12:37:27 PM PDT by Red Badger (My gerund got caught in my diphthong, and now I have a dangling participle...............)
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To: Kolar308

Were any trans fats used in the composition of this post?


16 posted on 04/26/2007 12:37:57 PM PDT by thulldud ("Para inglÚs, oprima el dos.")
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To: Kolar308
I intendt to sue!!

I patented this material several years back and have been seeking venture capital to begin production. My tissue is even more environmentally friendly.

A second and more important feature of my material is achieved when you plug it into an extension cord and toss it on the roof. As the poop is renderd benign the material is collecting light and creating an electrical flow which can power the house and even your electric car.

Did I mention another feature regarding bird poop?

If you care to invest in my product please visit my website at: www.shortendof stick.com

17 posted on 04/26/2007 12:38:38 PM PDT by Young Werther ( and Julius Ceasar said, "quae cum ita sunt." (or since these things are so!))
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To: Kolar308

18 posted on 04/26/2007 12:38:59 PM PDT by beeber (stuned)
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To: Kolar308

The Sheryl Crow Memorial Toilet Paper Story of the Day.


19 posted on 04/26/2007 12:40:09 PM PDT by 3AngelaD (Enoch Powell was right.)
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To: beeber
Please don't squeeze the Charmin!

20 posted on 04/26/2007 12:43:32 PM PDT by beeber (stuned)
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To: beeber

21 posted on 04/26/2007 12:48:20 PM PDT by Constitution Day
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To: Kolar308

If the homosexual populance heeded Crowe’s advice it would bring a whole new meaning to the term “brown noser”.


22 posted on 04/26/2007 12:48:49 PM PDT by AlaskaErik (Run, Fred, run!)
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To: Kolar308

My husbands says, “I hear the product has already hit S.F. because there seems to be a lot of butts glowing in the dark.”


23 posted on 04/26/2007 12:51:50 PM PDT by Cindy
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To: Kolar308
Triumph's Solar Swimsuit Powers USB Devices

There have been prototypes before but this Triumph's Solar Swimsuit seems to be the first that is going to be commercially available. Created by lingerie and swimwear manufacturer Triumph and photovoltaic cell manufacturer Conergy, it will provide enough power to feed a cellphone or an iPod.

Spanish swimming champion Gemma Mengual presented it today at the America's Cup in Valencia, and while she's no Laura Ocaña, she will do just fine for a Tuesday. No price yet, but it's supposed to be part of their 2007 collection.

24 posted on 04/26/2007 12:52:17 PM PDT by theFIRMbss
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To: Kolar308

Funny post! And, welcome to FR.


25 posted on 04/26/2007 12:53:40 PM PDT by Theresawithanh (Surrender Harry Reid, D-Al Quaeda)
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To: theFIRMbss; CharlesWayneCT
Press the INSERT KEY!
I'd SCROLL DOWN through THAT content!
My MOUSE is STANDING!

PINING for her FJORDS!
My DAN is all RATHERING!
That MOOSE can BITE ME!


----------------------------

Am I the Only One who is sick and tired of "I'd Hit It"?
26 posted on 04/26/2007 12:55:38 PM PDT by theFIRMbss
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To: Kolar308
The morons traded paper and light bulbs for HAZMAT.

Maybe they'll self-genocide from mercury poisoning.
27 posted on 04/26/2007 1:01:09 PM PDT by Thrownatbirth (.....when the sidewalks are safe for the little guy.)
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To: Kolar308

28 posted on 04/26/2007 1:29:16 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows ("I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!!!" --http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0439.html)
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To: battlegearboat
"You can trust Acme products"

Wile E. Coyote buys all of his equipment from Acme.

29 posted on 04/26/2007 1:37:08 PM PDT by Clive
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