Top 3!
Official Friday Silliness Thread Ping List
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***Roll Call***
Land Shark!
Oh, BOY!!!
It's the Friday Silliness Thread!
WOOT! Top 10!
I’m trying to imagine Santa Claus changing his greeting to “Hee-hee-hee”
Not sure if this has been posted before but it’s hilarious
Peyton Manning and the United Way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZpPf-q2_es
Happy Blame Someone Else day!!!
So let me be the first.
It’s Bush’s fault!
(the first Friday the 13th of the year is blame someone else day)
Jane, you ignorant slut...
Owl_Eagle
If what I just wrote made you sad or angry,
it was probably just a joke.
Sincere Guy Stu
Dan.....Phil Hartman
Leslie.....Jan Hooks
Stu.....Joe Montana
Dan: You know, Leslie, I could talk to you for days.
Dan's Thoughts: Gee, I'd like to jump her bones.
Leslie: Same here. You know, I haven't even noticed the time?
Leslie's Thoughts: Gee, I wish he'd jump my bones.
Dan: [ checking his watch ] Whoa! I didn't realize how late it was. You know, you're welcome to spend the night here. In the living room.
Dan's Thoughts: If she says yes, I'm home-free!
Leslie: Gee, you know.. I really shouldn't..
Leslie's Thoughts: I don't want to seem too trampy.
Dan: Well.. suit yourself.
Leslie: Okay, I will! [ laughs ]
[ the sound of a car pulling up can be heard outside ]
Dan: Oh, great. That's my roommate, Stu.
Dan's Thoughts: Dammit! What a time for him to show up!
Leslie: Terrific! I'd love to meet him!
Leslie's Thoughts: Oh, no.. he's going to ruin everything.
Dan: I think you'll relaly like Stu. He's absolutely the most sincere, genuine straightforward person you'll ever want to meet. A real honest guy.
Dan's Thoughts: What a jerk he is!
Leslie: He sounds really nice.
Leslie's Thoughts: God, he sounds boring!
Dan: Oh, here he is. Hey, Stu, come on in!
Stu: [ surprised there's company ] Oh! I hope I'm not disturbing you.
Stu's Thoughts: I hope I'm not disturbing them.
Dan: Not at all.
Dan's Thoughts: God, he's going to scare her away.
Dan: Uh, Stu, this is Leslie. Leslie, Stu.
Stu: [ shaking her hand ] Hi. I'm very glad to meet you.
Stu's Thoughts: I'm very glad to meet her.
Leslie: Well, it's nice to meet you.
Leslie's Thoughts: God, this guy's a stiff!
Dan: Leslie was gonna sleep in the living room. Unless thats a problem for you? In which case, she could sleep in my room, and I could sleep on the floor.
Dan's Thoughts: Come on, you idiot! Help me out!
Leslie: You know, maybe it would be better if I stayed in Dan's room, because we don't want to inconvenience you.
Stu: Hey, it's fine with me if you stay in the living room. It won't bother me at all.
Stu's Thoughts: It's fine with me if she stays in the living room. It doesn't bother me at all.
Dan: Thanks a lot, Stu.
Dan's Thoughts: Yeah, thanks a lot, jerk!
Leslie: You know, you are so sweet.
Leslie's Thoughts: Boy, is this guy lame!
Dan: Well, listen, Stu, I think Leslie and I are gonna stay up a while and talk, so I guess we'll.. uh.. see you tomorrow.
Stu: Great! See you tomorrow!
Stu's Thoughts: Great! I'll see them tomorrow!
[ Stu heads upstairs ]
Leslie: Uh.. listen, we'll talk quietly, so as not to disturb you, okay?
Stu: Oh, you won't disturb me. I'll be in my room masturbating.
Stu's Thoughts: They won't disturb me. I'll be masturbating.
[ Stuart retreats upstairs ]
Imus Overload Bumperootus!
Victor: Hey, Hans! How you doing, Franz?
Franz: Yes! do you ever show pity on those flabby losers?
Victor: No! These losers, they need discipline! They’re fat, lazy pigs, who should be only dead! You hear me? Dead! Dead! Dead!
Hans: Ya! Ya! Alright. Interesting. Now, tell us, Victor, what would you do with a girly-man who wrote a baby letter?
Victor: Here me now, and here me now, girly-man! Don’t be thinking I can’t come to your house, and pummel your head with a 2x4 and knock some sense into your fat, lazy lard-filled ass! You should be dead! You hear me! Dead, dead, dead, dead!!
[ Hans & Franz subdue Victor ]
Hans: Alright. Alright.
Franz: Enough talk.
Together: We’re not here to talk. We’re here to pump.. [ clap ] ..you up!
Hans: Alright, Victor. Alright, thanks for coming down, Victor.
Victor: Okay, I’ll see you guys later. Oh, by the way. Your cousin Arnold Schwartzenegger came by today.
Hans: Oh, don’t-don’t-don’t be joking us.
Franz: Ya. You’d better not be pulling my rock-hard leg.
Victor: He did! He said he might drop by. Alright, he might see your show. Okay, see you later! [ exits set ]
Franz: Arnold?
Hans: Coming here?
Franz: Today?
Hans: Today? Oh..
Franz: Oh..
Hans: Oh, I don’t believe this!
Franz: We are not properly pumped up!
[ Hans & Franz desperately start flexing and working out their muscles ]
Hans: I don’t believe this! Oh no, I can’t believe it!
[ Arnold Schwartzenegger enters the set, his pecs bouncing in rhythm ]
Arnold Schwartzenegger: Hello, hello. I am back!
Hans: Oh, Arnold, I can’t believe how properly pumped up you really are!
Franz: Ya! You are the embodiment of perfect pumpitude!
Arnold Schwartzenegger: No, no, no.. relax, fellows, relax.
Hans: Hey, Arnold, look at this! [ flexes ]
Franz: Ya! Lok at this! [ flexes more vigorously ]
Arnold Schwartzenegger: Oh, you guys make me sick. [ mimes vomiting ] This is what you have to do. Like this [ demonstrates the proper way to flex his muscles ] That’s the way to do it! Look at you guys, how pitiful losers you are! You know something? I hate the way you guys talk! What’s the matter with you? I mean, I sent you over here from Austria, to become real hard-core terminators, and look what you are - little termites! I wanted you to become real running men; but you are girly-men. Oh, come on, you make me sick! And look at those legs, they look like little skinny sticks! And those buttocks. Soft, like marshmallow. You huys are lucky you don’t have a campfire here in the background. And believe me- [ sees sullen faces ] What’s the matter?
Franz: It’s no use, Arnold. Compared to you.. we are losers. And not even the grown-up kind, the little baby losers.
Hans: Ya. You know, you could very easily flick us with your ltitlest finger, and send us flying across the room until we landed in our own baby poop.
Arnold Schwartzenegger: I know. I know, you’re right. But don’t be downing yourself too much now. Listen to me now, and beleive me later: it doesn’t matter how much you pump up those muscles, as long as you reach the full pumptential.
Franz: Oh.. okay..
Hans: Ya, I think I understand, Arnold. ‘Sank you.
Franz: Ya. Ya, Arnold. You’ve given us something to hear now, and something to think about later.
Arnold Schwartzenegger: Ya. But now, hear this: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday.. [ claps ] ..Night!”
Hey!! I’m 40!! Not often I get to say that! :-)
My favorite SNL skits are the commercial parodies:
Big Red: A toy Viking figure that squirts red liquid out of it’s horns when it spins around.
Eych!: The only hairball remover cats ask for by name.
and of course Rubik’s grenade.
The Coroner tells the Inspector, "The first body is a 72 year old Frenchman. He died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."
"The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age. He won a thousand dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."
The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, age 66, struck by lightning."
"Why is she smiling then?", inquires the Inspector.
"She thought she was having her picture taken!"
I’ve never seen SNL.
I was packing for my business trip and my three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, “Daddy, look at this,” and stuck out two of her fingers.
Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, “Daddy’s gonna eat your fingers,” pretending to eat them.
I went back to packing, looked and my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
I said, “What’s wrong, honey?”
She replied, “What happened to my booger?”
The bee said, “What seems to be the problem”?
“I’m out of gas,” replied the man.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away.
Minute later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.
“Try it now,” said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up.
“Wow!” the man exclaimed. “What did you put in my gas tank”?
The bee answered, “BP.”
My fav SNL Skit got be Jeopardy one
And Sinatra Group
Over 50 Posts on favorite SNL skits and still NO COWBELL?...what this thread needs is more cowbell!
I liked Rosanne Rosanna Dana in her circa 1971 news sketches with Jane Curtin.
RRD: I’m here tonight to talk about the terrible problem of “Soviet Jewelry”.
JC: Don’t you mean Soviet Jewry?
RRD: (long pause) Never mind.
Owl_Eagle
If what I just wrote made you sad or angry,
it was probably just a joke.
Candygram....
.."think it's cute eh?, wait till ya see what I leave on your head tonight when you go to sleep"
I don’t worry about things like Friday the 13th, I’m not the superspicious type.
My favorite SNL sketch is an old one, the add for F*CKITOL.
The designer wondered why his pirate room wasn’t perfect, and the judge told him he went a little overboard.
Dancing In The Dark
Man.....Steve Martin
Woman.....Gilda Radner
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/77/77rdancing.phtml
*****************
I searched Youtube for the clip, but zip. I’d
love to see this if someone can find the video.
Thx... Jo
Now try this for some amusement: Go to Google maps and click the directions link. Request directions from New York to London. Scroll down to item 23.
LOL, for me, generally not unlucky. And as an oddity, I passed my driver’s license test more than a few years ago on a Friday the 13th in July. My Mom, a few years earlier on a Friday the 13th in May, her birthday. My sister, a few years after me, and my brother a year or so later, all Friday the 13th’s! In my rural area, years ago, the driving part of the tests were only given on Fridays!
LOLOL! Those are funny! It is hard not to love ‘The Pen is Mightier’ skit! Truly on of my favs. Also, Kyle the Effeminate Heterosexual! And any Farley ‘in a van, down by the river’. And Maya Rudolph, both as Donatella Versace, and as ‘Nooni’. LOL! I don’t know if I can limit myself to just a couple!
