****THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD****

SNL Celebrity Jeopardy ^ | April 13, 2007

[Lucky9teen]

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The Friday Silliness game is afoot..

 

What is your favorite SNL skit?

Could it be......SATAN?	Let's Dance....	Oh My God...It's Tony Randall!!

 

 

 

Welcome back to "Celebrity Jeopardy". Before we begin the Double Jeopardy round, I'd like to ask our contestants once again to please refrain from using ethnic slurs.

 

Sean Connery: I've got to ask you about the Penis Mightier.
Alex Trebek: What? No. No, no, that is The Pen is Mightier.

 

 

 

Sean Connery: Well, the game is afoot. I'll take anal bum cover for 7,000.
Alex Trebek: That's An album cover, not anal bum cover.
Sean Connery: I can read, Trebek. That says Anal bum cover. I've spent five years of my life trying to invent an anal bum cover, failing to do so is my greatest regret.
Alex Trebek: You have lead a horrifying life. The category is An album cover and the answer is: The Beatles White album is this color.

 

 

 

IMO, the best years of SNL were in the 80's...they had the best cast then.

"God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny."

  ~Garrison Keillor

[Lucky9teen]

Oh, and I almost forgot it's Friday the 13th....oooohh scary.

[JimWforBush]

Top 3!

[JimWforBush]

WOW IBTP!

[PBRSTREETGANG]

[Lucky9teen]

Official Friday Silliness Thread Ping List

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***Roll Call***

Ooh Friday the 13th!!

[TMSuchman]

Land Shark!

[tomkow6]

Oh, BOY!!!

It's the Friday Silliness Thread!

 

[JRios1968]

My favorite SNL sketch...

[Fierce Allegiance]

WOOT! Top 10!

[tomkow6]

Billy Bob and Jethro decide to go ice fishing.

After arriving at the lake early in the morning, they cut two holes in the lake and drop in their lines in the water.

After fishing for a few hours, Billy Bob has caught dozens of fish while Jethro hasn't even gotten a bite.

Jethro asks, "Billy Bob, what's your secret?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."

Jethro asks, "What did you say?" Billy Bob answers, "Mmu motta meep da mmrms mmrm."

Jethro again asks, "What?" Billy Bob spits into his hand and says, "You gotta keep the worms warm!"

[Rightly Biased]

My Favorite “Two Wild and Crazy guys”

[Gay State Conservative]

So many good stuff during the Akroyd/Belushi era.Coneheads,Roseann Rosannadana,Samuri Delicestessan,Belushi’s imitation of Joe Cocker,”we are two wild and crazy guys”....

[NRA1995]

I’m trying to imagine Santa Claus changing his greeting to “Hee-hee-hee”

[RDTF]

Not sure if this has been posted before but it’s hilarious

Peyton Manning and the United Way

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZpPf-q2_es

[5Madman2]

Shoes
A guy walks into a shoe store and asks for a pair of size 8 tie shoes. The salesman says, “But, sir, I can see from up here you’re at least a size 11.”

The guy says, “Just bring me a size 8 tie shoe.”

The salesman brings them, the guy stuffs his feet into them, ties them tight, and then he stands up, obviously in pain. The salesman just has to ask, “Sir, why must you have these undersized shoes?”

He says to the salesman, “I lost my business and my house, I live with my mother-in-law, my wife is screwing my best friend, my daughter is pregnant, and my son is gay. The only pleasure I have in life is taking off these damn shoes.”

[day10]

I am an oldster and think the original 70's bunch were the best. Then Bill Murray came along at SNL was at it's zenith.

That being said, this SNL skit made me laugh 'til I cried the first time I saw it:

James Brown's Celebrity Hot Tub Party

[Soaring Feather]

So it is!

[Rightly Biased]

“Too hawt in the hawt tub”

[MeekMom]

re: 7
Ahh yes. Michael, when he was a man, and black.

[John O]

Happy Blame Someone Else day!!!

So let me be the first.

It’s Bush’s fault!

(the first Friday the 13th of the year is blame someone else day)

[Hatteras]

Weekend Update Point-Counterpoint was always a hoot.

Jane, you ignorant slut...

[Sax]

Garrett Morris doing his "closed caption" for the Hard of Hearing.

[BenLurkin]

Nah!

Take a risk on Friday the 13th ...

[BenLurkin]

[Sax]

Bass-o-matic!

[BenLurkin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6Op3OPItH0

[BenLurkin]

DENVER BRONCOS CHEERLEADER--->>>>

[Owl_Eagle]

Owl_Eagle

If what I just wrote made you sad or angry,
it was probably just a joke.

[Maximus of Texas]

TOP 30!

[beeber]

Count Floyd

Friday 13th Scare!

[tomkow6]

I finally got my computer "fixed" & working the way I want it ......

 

 

[Sax]

I also dug the Joe Montana sketch

Sincere Guy Stu

Dan.....Phil Hartman

Leslie.....Jan Hooks

Stu.....Joe Montana

Dan: You know, Leslie, I could talk to you for days.

Dan's Thoughts: Gee, I'd like to jump her bones.

Leslie: Same here. You know, I haven't even noticed the time?

Leslie's Thoughts: Gee, I wish he'd jump my bones.

Dan: [ checking his watch ] Whoa! I didn't realize how late it was. You know, you're welcome to spend the night here. In the living room.

Dan's Thoughts: If she says yes, I'm home-free!

Leslie: Gee, you know.. I really shouldn't..

Leslie's Thoughts: I don't want to seem too trampy.

Dan: Well.. suit yourself.

Leslie: Okay, I will! [ laughs ]

[ the sound of a car pulling up can be heard outside ]

Dan: Oh, great. That's my roommate, Stu.

Dan's Thoughts: Dammit! What a time for him to show up!

Leslie: Terrific! I'd love to meet him!

Leslie's Thoughts: Oh, no.. he's going to ruin everything.

Dan: I think you'll relaly like Stu. He's absolutely the most sincere, genuine straightforward person you'll ever want to meet. A real honest guy.

Dan's Thoughts: What a jerk he is!

Leslie: He sounds really nice.

Leslie's Thoughts: God, he sounds boring!

Dan: Oh, here he is. Hey, Stu, come on in!

Stu: [ surprised there's company ] Oh! I hope I'm not disturbing you.

Stu's Thoughts: I hope I'm not disturbing them.

Dan: Not at all.

Dan's Thoughts: God, he's going to scare her away.

Dan: Uh, Stu, this is Leslie. Leslie, Stu.

Stu: [ shaking her hand ] Hi. I'm very glad to meet you.

Stu's Thoughts: I'm very glad to meet her.

Leslie: Well, it's nice to meet you.

Leslie's Thoughts: God, this guy's a stiff!

Dan: Leslie was gonna sleep in the living room. Unless thats a problem for you? In which case, she could sleep in my room, and I could sleep on the floor.

Dan's Thoughts: Come on, you idiot! Help me out!

Leslie: You know, maybe it would be better if I stayed in Dan's room, because we don't want to inconvenience you.

Stu: Hey, it's fine with me if you stay in the living room. It won't bother me at all.

Stu's Thoughts: It's fine with me if she stays in the living room. It doesn't bother me at all.

Dan: Thanks a lot, Stu.

Dan's Thoughts: Yeah, thanks a lot, jerk!

Leslie: You know, you are so sweet.

Leslie's Thoughts: Boy, is this guy lame!

Dan: Well, listen, Stu, I think Leslie and I are gonna stay up a while and talk, so I guess we'll.. uh.. see you tomorrow.

Stu: Great! See you tomorrow!

Stu's Thoughts: Great! I'll see them tomorrow!

[ Stu heads upstairs ]

Leslie: Uh.. listen, we'll talk quietly, so as not to disturb you, okay?

Stu: Oh, you won't disturb me. I'll be in my room masturbating.

Stu's Thoughts: They won't disturb me. I'll be masturbating.

[ Stuart retreats upstairs ]

[tomkow6]

Are you sure that ain’t a “Packers” cheerleader?????

[Lucky9teen]

Watch dog bark on a hot summer night,
kill my landlord, kill my landlord,
watch dog bark, do he bite?
kill my landlord, kill my landlord,
slip in his window, break his neck,
then his house I start to wreck,
got no reason, what the heck!
kill my landlord, kill my landlord,
C-I-L-L my landlord.

[B-Chan]

[BenLurkin]

I’m only going by the caption... Reuters via Yahoo! News - Apr 01 8:53 PM

[ErnBatavia]

Imus Overload Bumperootus!

[JRios1968]

[dead]

Crappy weather afoot this Friday.

[CountryBumpkin]

This ranks up there as one of my all-time favorites:

Victor: Hey, Hans! How you doing, Franz?

Franz: Yes! do you ever show pity on those flabby losers?

Victor: No! These losers, they need discipline! They’re fat, lazy pigs, who should be only dead! You hear me? Dead! Dead! Dead!

Hans: Ya! Ya! Alright. Interesting. Now, tell us, Victor, what would you do with a girly-man who wrote a baby letter?

Victor: Here me now, and here me now, girly-man! Don’t be thinking I can’t come to your house, and pummel your head with a 2x4 and knock some sense into your fat, lazy lard-filled ass! You should be dead! You hear me! Dead, dead, dead, dead!!

[ Hans & Franz subdue Victor ]

Hans: Alright. Alright.

Franz: Enough talk.

Together: We’re not here to talk. We’re here to pump.. [ clap ] ..you up!

Hans: Alright, Victor. Alright, thanks for coming down, Victor.

Victor: Okay, I’ll see you guys later. Oh, by the way. Your cousin Arnold Schwartzenegger came by today.

Hans: Oh, don’t-don’t-don’t be joking us.

Franz: Ya. You’d better not be pulling my rock-hard leg.

Victor: He did! He said he might drop by. Alright, he might see your show. Okay, see you later! [ exits set ]

Franz: Arnold?

Hans: Coming here?

Franz: Today?

Hans: Today? Oh..

Franz: Oh..

Hans: Oh, I don’t believe this!

Franz: We are not properly pumped up!

[ Hans & Franz desperately start flexing and working out their muscles ]

Hans: I don’t believe this! Oh no, I can’t believe it!

[ Arnold Schwartzenegger enters the set, his pecs bouncing in rhythm ]

Arnold Schwartzenegger: Hello, hello. I am back!

Hans: Oh, Arnold, I can’t believe how properly pumped up you really are!

Franz: Ya! You are the embodiment of perfect pumpitude!

Arnold Schwartzenegger: No, no, no.. relax, fellows, relax.

Hans: Hey, Arnold, look at this! [ flexes ]

Franz: Ya! Lok at this! [ flexes more vigorously ]

Arnold Schwartzenegger: Oh, you guys make me sick. [ mimes vomiting ] This is what you have to do. Like this [ demonstrates the proper way to flex his muscles ] That’s the way to do it! Look at you guys, how pitiful losers you are! You know something? I hate the way you guys talk! What’s the matter with you? I mean, I sent you over here from Austria, to become real hard-core terminators, and look what you are - little termites! I wanted you to become real running men; but you are girly-men. Oh, come on, you make me sick! And look at those legs, they look like little skinny sticks! And those buttocks. Soft, like marshmallow. You huys are lucky you don’t have a campfire here in the background. And believe me- [ sees sullen faces ] What’s the matter?

Franz: It’s no use, Arnold. Compared to you.. we are losers. And not even the grown-up kind, the little baby losers.

Hans: Ya. You know, you could very easily flick us with your ltitlest finger, and send us flying across the room until we landed in our own baby poop.

Arnold Schwartzenegger: I know. I know, you’re right. But don’t be downing yourself too much now. Listen to me now, and beleive me later: it doesn’t matter how much you pump up those muscles, as long as you reach the full pumptential.

Franz: Oh.. okay..

Hans: Ya, I think I understand, Arnold. ‘Sank you.

Franz: Ya. Ya, Arnold. You’ve given us something to hear now, and something to think about later.

Arnold Schwartzenegger: Ya. But now, hear this: “Live, from New York, it’s Saturday.. [ claps ] ..Night!”

[TrueKnightGalahad]

Hey!! I’m 40!! Not often I get to say that! :-)

[stbdside]

My favorite SNL skits are the commercial parodies:

Big Red: A toy Viking figure that squirts red liquid out of it’s horns when it spins around.

Eych!: The only hairball remover cats ask for by name.

and of course Rubik’s grenade.

[oldtimer2]

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces. The coroner calls the police to ask them what happened.

The Coroner tells the Inspector, "The first body is a 72 year old Frenchman. He died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile."

"The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age. He won a thousand dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whisky. Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."

The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"

"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one. Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, age 66, struck by lightning."

"Why is she smiling then?", inquires the Inspector.

"She thought she was having her picture taken!"

[tomkow6]

[blau993]

My Favorite “Two Wild and Crazy guys”

In the early 90s, shortly after the fall of the Evil Empire, my wife and I were in Rome and one morning found us in line to get into the Vatican Museum. As we were waiting, a tour bus pulled up. It was garishly painted, loud and belching thick black smoke. Everything about it said "Eastern Europe." Sure enough, the door opened, and out poured people dressed exactly like the "Two Wild and Crazy Guys." I didn't know there was that much polyester left on the planet. Good satire is always well grounded in fact.

[macmedic892]

Oh man, my favorite SNL skits:
Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger!

Bill Swerski's Superfans---"DA Bears"

[Thrownatbirth]

Best SNL skit evah -”The Pepsi Syndrome” with Aykroyd playing a giant-sized Jimmy Carter at Three Mile Island.

[Dick Bachert]

More on Hillary (or is that Hillary’s a MORON?)

Both work. So, I hope, does the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_zCpQZ-H94

[Vision]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDxC3Qu-jPU

[Dick Bachert]