I think she views it as "doing something for Daddy" which most certainly IS a form of grieving. And no one grieves in the same way. Hiding or curling up in the dark isn't healthy either. We lost a 19 yr old granddaughter and everyone had advice none of it useful. After 3 months some people even told us it was "time to get a grip". Our pastor had told us that people would react in odd ways and be prepared for critical, well meaning statements. I was still shocked at some of the stupid judgements. I never tell anyone how they should grieve after my eye-opening experience.
I know exactly what you're saying. I buried a child in '89. My entire existence crashed & burned. I had more than one person tell me "You're young. You can have other children." Stupidity has no boundaries.
I agree with you. I think it's "for" him. It may be her way of honoring him. Keeping his memory alive.