Breaking wind news: Silence in court shattered as suspect causes a stink (locked up for farting)

AFP via Yahoo! ^ | 10/10/06

[dead]

LONDON (AFP) - A suspect was slammed in the cells after he broke wind in a British court then burst out laughing about it.

Joseph Wildy let rip and refused to apologise after he had a fit of the giggles with his co-defendants on Tuesday.

However, magistrate Simon Bridge, sitting in Blackpool, on the northwest coast of England, was not amused by his interruption. He found Wildy in contempt of court and ordered him to be locked up.

After cooling off in the cells, Wildy returned to court 90 minutes later and apologised to Bridge.

"He was laughing in court, that's why he was found in contempt," said a court spokeswoman.

"It was for interrupting the proceedings by laughing, and then refusing to apologise."

Wildy pleaded not guilty to handling stolen goods and was bailed to reappear at a later date at the same court.

[BallyBill]

Ahhaahhhaaahhhaa!!

[lakeman]

ha ha ha I would laugh too.

[Puppage]

[tumblindice]

"Oh villain, villain, smiling, damned villain!"
http://web.syr.edu/~iecheruo/fun/toilet/farter.txt

[reagan_fanatic]

[Allegra]

Errrr....ping.

[teletech]

There is nothing like a tripple flutter blast whilst sitting on a hard wooden bench.

[commish]

Talk about raising a stink in court.

[Smartaleck]

Judge probably doesn't appreciate Monty Python humor either?

[Cobra64]

[Prost1]

"Where ever you may be let your wind blow free!"

[Jack Hammer]

Any chance we could get this guy for the Ninth Circuit?

[Disambiguator]

The answer, my friend
Is blowing in the wind.
The answer is blowing in the wind.

[patriot_wes]

ORDER IN THE COURT!.....yes your honour - I'll have whatever he had.

[Tijeras_Slim]

[armymarinemom]

Flatus Interruptous.

[CougarGA7]

However, magistrate Simon Bridge, sitting in Blackpool

That line alone gave me the giggles.

[reillygirl246]

I got a good laugh out of it!

[GSWarrior]

Something about this story does not pass the smell test.

[Dr. Bogus Pachysandra]

Talk about the price of gas!

[Zakeet]

The poor guy shouldn't be penalized for giving an honest description of lawyers.

[TexasRepublic]

Green fog alert!!!

[mikrofon]

Shouldn't that be-

ODOR IN THE COURT!

[Trust but Verify]

As Ben Franklin would say, "Fart Proudly"!

[subterfuge]

Lightning exits from woman's bum
Tuesday, October 10, 2006

A Croatian woman was left with a severely burned anus after a lightning strike which entered through her mouth left her body through her bottom.

The lightning reportedly struck Natasha Timarovic building as she was cleaning her teeth – with her mouth to the tap, sending the current through her body.

And as she was wearing rubber-soled shoes, the lightning bolt was unable to earth through her feet – so it took the next easiest route, and came out of her rectum.

It then earthed itself via her moist shower curtain.

'It was incredibly painful, I felt it pass through my torso and then I don't remember much at all,' Timarovic said.

A medic told local news station 24 Sata: 'Instead of earthing through her feet, it appears the electricity shot out of her backside… if she had not been wearing the shoes she would probably have been killed.'

The medic described the incident as 'bizarre, but not impossible.'

[IamConservative]

Judge: "What do you have to say for yourself sir?

Defendant: "WOW! Do I feel better!"

[Old Professer]

Those women in the picture don't look like your typical Brit.

[Eaker]

Sounds like something that would happen on a cruise ship!

[ErnBatavia]

[CWW]

Looks like he's heading for the GAS CHAMBER!

[VRWCtaz]

"There is nothing like a tripple flutter blast whilst sitting on a hard wooden bench."

LOL - you've given this way too much thought!

[vox_freedom]

Isn't it a compliment in some cultures?

[vox_freedom]

And, he asks timidly, how did the pool get Black, anyway?

[teletech]

LOL - you've given this way too much thought!

Like my wife says, 'you're telling us more than we want to know". LOL!

[VRWCtaz]

I'm trying to remember the name of a comedian (Lewis Grizzard maybe?) who had a routine with the punchline "Brother, I don't believe I'd a told that!"
Does that ring a bell for anyone?

[patriot_wes]

"It was incredibly painful, I felt it pass through my torso and then I don't remember much at all,' Timarovic said."

...hemorrhoids my a$$ that felt like a bloody asteroid!

[Sloth]

There is nothing like a tripple flutter blast

Apparently your flatulence taxonomy is much more sophisticated than mine. I just use a 10-unit rating scale.

[mdmathis6]

Reminds of the time I was sitting with my wife in church on one of those church benches you talked about. The science of acoustics states that when you put a speaker or other sound source in mid air it is reinforced x's1, on the floor x's2, on the floor with a wall in the back x's 4 and in a corner x's 8.

Well I was in a x's 8 situation where I sat in the pew. The pastor was speaking a very good message, but shall I say my weakened flesh in a loud gaseaous brrrrrrrp, overcame the spirit of the situation.

I'll always remember the proper Baptist gentleman in front of me twitching slightly, his jaw setting firmly, but his ears reddening to a bright crimson. My wife poked me while trying to keep a straight face. There were a pair of teens who had started to titter behind me.

I turned around and looked at the young pair, a girl and boy who were trying to regain their composure and I did the only thing I could think of to make the best of the situation.....ready for it....here it comes...

I smiled and pointed at my wife.

That did it...despite Baptist decorum the teens just lost it laughing uproariously and my wife gave me a few hard punches to my arm...I just sat smiling inwardly praising god for my human frailties. The pastor paused a few seconds to see what the commotion was and folks in the front row just sat ridgidly, their ears all reddened too but we got our-selves under control and the sermon went on.

[evets]

Hey Chris....... pull my finger...........ewwwww...damn!

[husky ed]

Charge him with Ass-ault. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Order in the Court, Order in the Court.
I'll have a Back-bacon and Cheese Sandwich.

Or maybe someone just pulled his finger?

[Rb ver. 2.0]

Oh, man. I would have exploded.

[longshadow]

you are hereby authorized to deploy your "Flatus Attack Ping List"...

.... just don't stand in front of me when you do it.

[Rb ver. 2.0]

Your Honor, he's just playing the tenor section, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck....

[PatrickHenry]

"Breaking News about Breaking Wind" Ping List Don't ask to be added to or dropped from this list. Just don't.

[GSWarrior]

Here's an old one.

Why shouldn't you pass gas in church?

Because you have to sit in your own pew!

[RVN Airplane Driver]

I'm trying to remember the name of a comedian (Lewis Grizzard maybe?) who had a routine with the punchline "Brother, I don't believe I'd a told that!" Does that ring a bell for anyone?

I remember that punchline about confessing your sins at a tent revival...where they were making their confessions for getting it on with their neighbors etc, finally an ole boy in the back stood up and confessed to having his way with a sheep....to which the preacher said "Brother, don't believe I' told that"

[rock58seg]

Soundfs like you heard the comic record from the fifties, The F-rting Contest," High point winner If I remember correctly was a tripple flutter bleep.

[sonic109]

Just spit out my iced tea..toooo funny hahahahahhahahahah

[sonic109]

ahhhh the 3 Stooges..Thats what the world needs about now .back in the good old days when the world was only half insane. Woo wooo wooo wooo wooooooo