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Be open to talking about sex
The Seattle Times ^ | Wednesday, April 26, 2006 | Nicole Brodeur

Posted on 04/26/2006 12:32:31 PM PDT by Sopater

It's 10 a.m. on a Saturday, and I am at the front of a room at the Phinney Ridge Neighborhood Center, explaining oral sex to a woman pretending to be my son.

I stammer and pause, go back over my words and Hate This, while the woman smiles. Your turn next, sister. Talking to our kids about sex is something we over-prepared parents just aren't prepared for. I changed the diapers, packed Gatorade and soothed all sorts of hurts, emotional and physical.

But preparing my 13-year-old son to be a sexual being? Explaining when and why, how and where? Sure, when he's 35.

Enter Amy Lang, a Seattle mother who hosts sex-education workshops called "Birds + Bees + Kids" to parents at PTAs, private homes and community centers.

Lang started our session by asking where we first heard about sex.

In health class. From friends. Older siblings. Dog-eared Judy Blume books like "Forever."

"What's missing?" Lang asked.

Our parents.

[snip]

Her Web site is www.birdsandbeesandkids.com

(Excerpt) Read more at seattletimes.nwsource.com ...


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS: ageofconsentlaws; birthcontrol; children; corruptingminors; culturalentropy; culturewar; doasthouwill; plannedparenthood; sexeducation; sexpositiveagenda; sexualizingchildren
And society isn't helping either, with abstinence-only curriculum, and birth control and abortion rights under constant threat.

I don't understand what's wrong with teaching children that there are serious consequences for deciding to have sex outside of marriage. I have yet to find any serious consequences from teaching "abstinence before marriage". The only real danger is in teaching abstinence and avoiding the subject of the consequences that a child is faced with when they choose not to abstain from sex before marriage. There are no "birth control" methods apart from abstinence that are 100% effective in preventing pregnancy or the transmission of STDs. Parents also need to teach their children that alternative forms of sex are not the same as abstinence. I agree that this is a delicate subject that is difficult for parents to deal with, but too many children today are engaging in dangerous sexual activity thinking that its not "really" sex. I teach my children that if you are considering doing anything with another person that requires someone to remove some of their clothing, its sex and it has consequences.

"For it seemed good to the Holy Spirit and to us to lay upon you no greater burden than these essentials: that you abstain from things sacrificed to idols and from blood and from things strangled and from fornication; if you keep yourselves free from such things, you will do well. Farewell."
- Acts 15:28-29 NASB

1 posted on 04/26/2006 12:32:36 PM PDT by Sopater
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To: Sopater

Better talk to your 13 year old before his teacher gets to him.


2 posted on 04/26/2006 12:33:47 PM PDT by Semper Paratus
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To: Sopater

Sex Positive advocates abhor the teaching of abstinence because they find it to be "unhealthy" because the person does not act on sexual desires.


3 posted on 04/26/2006 12:35:06 PM PDT by weegee ("CBS NEWS? Is that show still on?" - freedomson)
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To: xsmommy

* cough *


4 posted on 04/26/2006 12:35:10 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Semper Paratus
Better talk to your 13 year old before his teacher gets to him.

Considering several of the articles about teachers that show up around here, that's probably true in more ways than one.

5 posted on 04/26/2006 12:35:33 PM PDT by Gordongekko909 (I know. Let's cut his WHOLE BODY off.)
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To: Sopater
explaining oral sex to a woman pretending to be my son.

She couldn't tell that the woman wasn't her son?

6 posted on 04/26/2006 12:35:49 PM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: Sopater
Better talk to your 13 year old before his teacher gets to him.

Nowadays, his teacher may try to discuss this topic -- but can she talk with her mouth full?

7 posted on 04/26/2006 12:37:28 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (Never question Bruce Dickinson!)
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To: VRWCmember

My parents never talked to me about sex and my only advice to my daughters on the subject was "Don't."


8 posted on 04/26/2006 12:37:36 PM PDT by Argus
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To: Sopater

The thought of a boy's mother talking to him about oral sex creeps me out.

He'll be telling his psycho analyst about that one years from now.


9 posted on 04/26/2006 12:39:22 PM PDT by Pessimist
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To: weegee
they find it to be "unhealthy" because the person does not act on sexual desires.

I've heard more than one sex ed advocate make similar statements, as though just because we have the desire we ought to act on it. Simply ridiculous. If my desire is to shoot some idiot driver who just cut me off, should I then act on that, too?

10 posted on 04/26/2006 12:40:21 PM PDT by opus86
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To: Sopater

I wish my kid's teacher would have a parent's class like that for us. You should see some of the moms! Ohhh yeah! Talk dirty to me, baby! ;-)


11 posted on 04/26/2006 12:41:18 PM PDT by Hatteras
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To: Pessimist

Well, if that's not a deterrent, what is?


12 posted on 04/26/2006 12:42:40 PM PDT by linda_22003
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To: Sopater

I think this Lang lady ought to be checked out, anybody her age going around pretending to be a 13 year old boy may have a problem.


13 posted on 04/26/2006 12:45:32 PM PDT by Old Professer (The critic writes with rapier pen, dips it twice, and writes again.)
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To: Sopater
What's missing in this story?
A dad.

Sure a mom can do it, but that's a man's job where a son is concerned.

... donning nomex overalls ...

14 posted on 04/26/2006 12:48:22 PM PDT by Publius6961 (Multiculturalism is the white flag of a dying country)
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To: Publius6961

I think it is the FATHER's job to tell his children about sex whether they are sons or daughters.


15 posted on 04/26/2006 12:51:37 PM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: martin_fierro

don't you have somewhere you need to be, instead of trolling for sex talks....? ; )


16 posted on 04/26/2006 12:53:26 PM PDT by xsmommy
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To: VRWCmember

says the man with no daughters! LOL!


17 posted on 04/26/2006 12:54:52 PM PDT by xsmommy
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To: xsmommy

Too true.


18 posted on 04/26/2006 12:55:50 PM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: Sopater
So according to your definition, going swimming in the ocean would be sex, because it means removing clothing?
19 posted on 04/26/2006 12:56:09 PM PDT by NathanR (Après moi, le deluge.)
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To: Sopater
But preparing my 13-year-old son to be a sexual being? Explaining when and why, how and where?

I wonder how Monica is going to handle this?

20 posted on 04/26/2006 12:58:14 PM PDT by cowboyway (My heroes have always been cowboys.)
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To: VRWCmember

no way xshub would talk to our daughters about sex. and he doesn't need to, i have covered it. thoroughly. and i have talked to our son as well. i will leave the fine points to his dad, but i got my points across


21 posted on 04/26/2006 12:58:32 PM PDT by xsmommy
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To: opus86
Exactly right. One should not act on a desire, just because one wants to.
22 posted on 04/26/2006 12:58:41 PM PDT by NathanR (Après moi, le deluge.)
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To: NathanR
So according to your definition, going swimming in the ocean would be sex, because it means removing clothing?

Thankfully, my children are wise enough not to be so absurd.
23 posted on 04/26/2006 12:59:44 PM PDT by Sopater (Creatio Ex Nihilo)
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To: NathanR
So according to your definition, going swimming in the ocean would be sex, because it means removing clothing?

Not if you are already wearing a bathing suit, it doesn't.

24 posted on 04/26/2006 1:00:44 PM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: opus86
I've heard more than one sex ed advocate make similar statements, as though just because we have the desire we ought to act on it. Simply ridiculous. If my desire is to shoot some idiot driver who just cut me off, should I then act on that, too?

How about the overwhelming desire to reach out and choke the living crap out of some Liberal that wants to give all my money away to people who wasted their youths while I was working my butt off and still work my butt off? That is MUCH stronger than the sex drive, trust me.

25 posted on 04/26/2006 1:01:30 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Don't call them "Illegal Aliens." Call them what they are: CRIMINAL INVADERS!)
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To: Sopater
But preparing my 13-year-old son to be a sexual being?

Actually, I'm preparing my 13 y/o son to NOT be a sexual being and to wait until the right time for sexual activity, i.e. his wedding night.

26 posted on 04/26/2006 1:04:58 PM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: VRWCmember
I don't know about you, but I always either wear my bathing suit under my clothes, or change in a changing room of some sort. Either way, I end up taking clothes off.
27 posted on 04/26/2006 1:12:16 PM PDT by NathanR (Après moi, le deluge.)
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To: NathanR

If I go to the ocean, I go in my bathing suit and take a change of clothes for afterwards, but that's just me.


28 posted on 04/26/2006 1:17:03 PM PDT by VRWCmember
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To: Sopater
Children can be extremely literal, so don't depend on it. Also if your definition confuses any of your children don't expect him to tell you, especially with that attitude.
29 posted on 04/26/2006 1:30:19 PM PDT by NathanR (Après moi, le deluge.)
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To: Sopater

And one time, at band camp...


30 posted on 04/26/2006 1:35:08 PM PDT by socal_parrot (Pass)
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To: VRWCmember
"But that is just me"

Precisely. People are different, and beaches are different and even oceans are different. One size fits all explanations don't work.
31 posted on 04/26/2006 1:40:34 PM PDT by NathanR (Après moi, le deluge.)
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To: Sopater

This may be just the way I, alone, see it but here goes. Our society has gone to h*** in a hand basket since the advent of free love in the sixties. It was supposed to be liberating but lets look at what has actually happened. The divorce rate has skyrocketed. Out of wedlock births increased exponentially. Happily that seems to be abating. The gay community holds the straight community hostage to demands that the gay community NEEDS special protection. Never mind that the reason that AIDS has been able to devastate the gays has been their own insistence that their sexual behavior is nobody's business. Unless it is to their benefit to use their sexual behavior to sue for something or other. All I can think of is that sex (having sex, getting sex, looking at sexual images, etc.) has become the most important thing in our lives, at least according to the lefties. It would be nice to get back to the concept that sex, or making love, is much better within a committed relationship, ideally a marriage. Procreation should be taught in Health Class. That's all.


32 posted on 04/26/2006 2:09:48 PM PDT by originalbuckeye
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To: NathanR
especially with that attitude.

Who has an attitude?
33 posted on 04/26/2006 2:10:56 PM PDT by Sopater (Creatio Ex Nihilo)
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To: VRWCmember
I think it is the FATHER's job to tell his children about sex whether they are sons or daughters.

Sorry, mac, on this point we must accept merely to permanently disagree.

34 posted on 04/26/2006 2:26:14 PM PDT by Publius6961 (Multiculturalism is the white flag of a dying country)
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To: Sopater
We used to live in the San Francisco Bay Area.

I had zero problems discussing sex with my kids.

The liberals made it so easy. With their nudity and exhibitionism, my kids learned to do exactly opposite of what liberals preach.

My kids learned early that liberals are out to ruin great sex. :)

End of story.

35 posted on 04/26/2006 4:03:43 PM PDT by Alia
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To: VRWCmember
I think it is the FATHER's job to tell his children about sex whether they are sons or daughters.

Fathers should tell sons about sex, and mothers should tells girls about sex. However, fathers should tell girls about the way most males think about females. Warn them.

36 posted on 04/27/2006 2:33:09 AM PDT by Jeff Chandler (Ignore the Drive-by Media. Build the fence. Sí, Se Puede!)
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To: linda_22003

Good point!


37 posted on 04/27/2006 6:06:30 AM PDT by Pessimist
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To: Pessimist

Have any parents have a different type of discussion on sexuality for adult children, soon to be married?


38 posted on 04/28/2006 7:42:11 PM PDT by twippo
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