Posted on 09/20/2005 5:25:47 AM PDT by vannrox
PLANET-DISSOLVING DUST CLOUD IS HEADED TOWARD EARTH!
Monday September 12, 2005
By MIKE FOSTER
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. -- Scared-stiff astronomers have detected a mysterious mass they've dubbed a "chaos cloud" that dissolves everything in its path, including comets, asteroids, planets and entire stars -- and it's headed directly toward Earth!
Discovered April 6 by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory, the swirling, 10 million-mile- wide cosmic dust cloud has been likened to an "acid nebula" and is hurtling toward us at close to the speed of light -- making its estimated time of arrival 9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014.
"The good news is that this finding confirms several cutting- edge ideas in theoretical physics," announced Dr. Albert Sherwinski, a Cambridge based astrophysicist with close ties to NASA.
"The bad news is that the total annihilation of our solar system is imminent."
Experts believe the chaos cloud is composed of particles spawned near the event horizon of a black hole (a form of what's called Hawking Radiation) that have been distorted by mangled information spewed from the hole.
"A super-massive black hole lies about 28,000 light-years from Earth at the center of our galaxy," explained Dr. Sherwinski.
"Last year the eminent physicist Stephen Hawking revised his theory of black holes -- which previously held that nothing could escape the hole's powerful gravitational field. He demonstrated that information about objects that have been sucked in can be emitted in mangled form.
"It now appears that mangled information can distort matter.
"Just imagine our galaxy the Milky Way as a beautiful, handwritten letter.
"Now imagine pouring a glass of water on the paper and watching the words dissolve as the stain spreads. That's what the chaos cloud does to every star or planet it encounters."
To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public. But Dr. Sherwinski's contacts at the agency's Chandra X-ray Observatory leaked to him striking images of the newly discovered chaos cloud obliterating a large asteroid.
"It's like watching a helpless hog being dissolved in a vat of acid," one NASA scientist told Dr. Sherwinski.
Ordinarily, Hawkings Radiation is harmless.
"It's produced when an electron- positron pair are at the event horizon of a black hole," Dr. Sherwinski explained. "The intense curvature of space-time of the hole can cause the positron to fall in, while the electron escapes."
But when "infected" by mangled information from the black hole, the particles become a chaos cloud, which in turn mangles everything it touches.
"If it continues unchecked, the chaos cloud will eventually reduce our galaxy to the state of absolute chaos that existed before the birth of the universe," the astrophysicist warned.
Some scientists say mankind's best hope would be to build a "space ark" and hightail it to the Andromeda Galaxy, 2.1 million light-years away.
"We wouldn't be able to save the entire human population, but perhaps the best and the brightest," observed British rocket scientist Dr. David Hall, when asked about the feasibility of such a project.
But even if such a craft could be built in time, evacuating Earth might prove fruitless if theories about the origin of the chaos cloud are correct.
"A black hole at the center of Andromeda is about 15 times the size of the one in our own galaxy," Dr. Sherwinski noted. "It might be like jumping out of the frying pan into the fire."
Speaking under the condition of anonymity, a senior White House official said the president's top science advisors are taking the findings in stride.
"This is a lot like global warming, where the jury is still out on whether it's real or not," said the official.
"The existence of this so called chaos cloud is only a theory. Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in."
Yahoo news is now rehashing Weekly World News?
I am nearly certain I have seen this posted before.
Time to forget the 401K and buy that Porsche!
I ain't skeered.
We're all gonna die! 2014? That gives me 9 years to max my credit cards out!
The French are already wondering who to surrender to.
We're DOOOMED!!!
Bush's Fault!!!!
AAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!
Sorry, had to do it.
Women and minorities effected the worst.
I Fear No Dust Cloud
If I understood this I'd probably be scared but since I don't, I'm not.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1486733/posts
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1486563/posts
Mangled matter? I was trying to make sense out of the mechanism behind this, is that supposed to be anti-electrons?
Even if it were a cloud of anti-electrons headed towards Earth, it would probably produce a barely noticable light show in the atmosphere when if it hits, because it would be far too diffuse to do anything.
To avoid widespread panic, NASA has declined to make the alarming discovery public.
I'm sure glad they're not telling us about this !
Weekly World News? LMAO!!
He usually "disolved" after about four beers!
I guess I can be first....It's Bush's fault.
It's Bushes fault.
Billy Mays could make a killing hawking this...
Don't panic.
We'll just leave it to FEMA to plan the evacuation. As long as the New Orleans Mayor and Louisiana Governor aren't involved.
Halliburton's fault!
Where is FEMA?
"The existence of this so called chaos cloud is only a theory. Americans shouldn't panic until all the facts are in."
This from the people who bring you Bat Boy.
Yay!! I don't have to pay back my student loans!!
Go your thumb and towel handy?
Panic nothing. I'm going to buy that beach house I can't afford.
Shotgun! Called it!
The good news is that Hillary won't have time to complete her second term in office.
Think of the chaos that will follow! When it gets here I'm going looting at Wal Mart and I'll bring home an HDTV the size of our living room wall!
Good move. I won't tell anyone.
You bet!
:-)
ROFLOL!
Yeah, where is Capt. Kirk when you need him?
I can't believe it took 20 posts!
;-)
Did he go on to run for the US Senate?
But the good news is, I saved on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
9:15 a.m. EDT on June 1, 2014
actually.....
6:00 a.m. EDT on June 6th (666)
Note to NASA:
Please investigate what this scientist is up to in his spare time.
Sincerely,
Now THAT'S Global Warming!
When is the movie?
""Women and minorities effected the worst.""
um, I think you mean "affected."
Unless you're saying that women and minorities caused this tragedy.
(Sorry, couldn't resist - I wouldn't have played grammar cop on a series thread. That would have been hughly rude.)
Some other article titles written by Mr. Mike Foster.
WORLD-SHAKING DISCOVERY... UFO FOUND ON BEACH AFTER KILLER TSUNAMI
Alien pilots & missing woman are onboard!
SPACE ALIEN GAL CLAIMS 'NASA ASTRONAUT GOT ME PREGNANT'
9-FT-TALL CYCLOPS HEADED TO THE NBA?
BUSH'S SECRET PLAN TO INVADE THE MOON
--And Make it the 51st State!
'PAINTING OF SADDAM CURED MY HICCUPS'
Iraqi Man Claims Looted Portrait of Hussein Has Magic Healing Powers!
Thanks for making me smile this morning!
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