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A Little Fun, John Kerry Haikus
20 OCT 04
| abn11b
Posted on 10/19/2004 8:59:48 PM PDT by abn11b
Can you think of any? I was sitting here burping the baby and listening to the drone of Kerry's voice when it occurred to me! Three Lines 5 syllables-7 syllables-5 syllables
TOPICS: Humor; Poetry; The Poetry Branch
KEYWORDS: 2004election; 2004electionhumor; 575; breckboy; flushthejohns; funnyifitwerenttrue; haiku; haikus; humor; justagigolo; kerry; ketchup; poems; poetry; ponyboy
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Debates are over Where is the bump they promised? Edwards grabs my ass
What if I don't win? Theresa will cut me off Stalked by Hillary
Things just can't get worse Going back to Ohio Teddy wants to drive
1
posted on
10/19/2004 8:59:48 PM PDT
by
abn11b
To: abn11b
Things just can't get worse
Going back to Ohio
Teddy wants to drive ROTFLMAO!!! (can't... breathe.... gasp)
Oh man, I cannot top that one. But I'll try to contribute:
I'm a francophile
Les Francaises m'aiment, bien sur,
After me, the storm!
(That's a King Louie, "apres moi, le deluge" joke, for those not familiar enough with French to mock them on their own turf.)
2
posted on
10/19/2004 9:11:11 PM PDT
by
wizardoz
("Crikey! I've lost my mojo!")
To: abn11b
You're very good at haiku!
Airy-fairy John
Flits with social butterfly
White House illusion.
3
posted on
10/19/2004 9:13:10 PM PDT
by
Veto!
(Kerry wears a tutu, TeRAYza wears the pants)
To: wizardoz
October Surprise
My wife is a loose cannon
Why won't Cheney die?
4
posted on
10/19/2004 9:15:18 PM PDT
by
rocky88
(" John Kerry: The boy with his nose pressed up against the glass.")
To: abn11b
Democrat love fest
Kerry, Edwards, left-wing nuts
All flunk global test
5
posted on
10/19/2004 9:19:14 PM PDT
by
My2Cents
(http://www.conservativesforbush.com)
To: abn11b
A lost election...
but then think about it now,
Still a billionaire.
6
posted on
10/19/2004 9:20:53 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b
I'm Going to France...
Jerry's got nothing on me
I'm Going to France!
7
posted on
10/19/2004 9:21:14 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b
Maybe I coulda...
If I'd been more antiBush.
Maybe I shoulda...
8
posted on
10/19/2004 9:21:35 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b
Nobody likes me
Everybody does hate me
Guess I'll go eat worms
9
posted on
10/19/2004 9:23:27 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: weegee
Ooooooo .... "Jean Kerry." I LIKE it. I like it a LOT!
10
posted on
10/19/2004 9:24:10 PM PDT
by
wizardoz
(Soyez francaise: votez pour Jean Kerry)
To: abn11b
see my magic hat
the spook gave it to me there
in Cambodia
11
posted on
10/19/2004 9:26:43 PM PDT
by
Hugin
To: abn11b
Heinz's gigolo,
Tried to tell us of his plans,
Fifty-seven kinds!
12
posted on
10/19/2004 9:27:20 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b
Very rich heiress,
May wish. But lying husband
Never makes First Lady
13
posted on
10/19/2004 9:27:28 PM PDT
by
Happygal
(liberalism - a narrow tribal outlook largely founded on class prejudice)
To: weegee
Flippity flop
pingity pong
clipity clop
14
posted on
10/19/2004 9:28:56 PM PDT
by
F.J. Mitchell
(The liberal Democrats are properly redefining themselves as the pro-aggressive party.)
To: abn11b
Two thousand and four.
Ter-ay-za pour me a glass.
I need more botox.
15
posted on
10/19/2004 9:30:06 PM PDT
by
getmeouttaPalmBeachCounty_FL
(libˇerˇal - noun: šA person who is so open-minded that their brains have fallen out)
To: abn11b
Tereza's raisins;
Jean Kerry's secret health plan?
Drink that fifth of Gin.
16
posted on
10/19/2004 9:30:20 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: doug from upland
17
posted on
10/19/2004 9:31:09 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b
Beck Boy did me wrong.
Channeled voices? A lawyer?
Had no gravitas.
18
posted on
10/19/2004 9:34:29 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b
the autumn leaves fall
I assemble my lawyers
if we lose, we win
19
posted on
10/19/2004 9:35:30 PM PDT
by
Yaelle
To: weegee
Horseface senator
My purple hearts in question
Save me, pony boy
20
posted on
10/19/2004 9:37:17 PM PDT
by
NetSurfer
(Proud member of the Pajama-Wearing Lunatic Fringe)
To: abn11b
All so many ways..
Kick myself again and again.
Just like Albert Gore.
21
posted on
10/19/2004 9:37:30 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: Hugin
22
posted on
10/19/2004 9:37:30 PM PDT
by
jocon307
(Don't let Australia down: Re-elect President Bush!)
To: abn11b
strong in my khakis
throwing balls on the tarmac
I look very good
23
posted on
10/19/2004 9:38:22 PM PDT
by
Yaelle
To: abn11b
Oh no, not again
won't the Swifties ever stop
running those damned ads?
24
posted on
10/19/2004 9:39:28 PM PDT
by
Hugin
To: abn11b
Election is soon.
No time to go skiing now.
I need more photos!!!
25
posted on
10/19/2004 9:40:27 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: Hugin
26
posted on
10/19/2004 9:40:47 PM PDT
by
Yaelle
To: abn11b
To: Hugin
Stupid bunny suit.
I was a hero in 'nam.
NASA budget cut?!!!
28
posted on
10/19/2004 9:41:51 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: weegee
woman so earthy
and so very, very rich
how to shut her up?
29
posted on
10/19/2004 9:42:28 PM PDT
by
Yaelle
To: abn11b
By the way, how old is the little one? I miss burping a baby.
30
posted on
10/19/2004 9:43:24 PM PDT
by
Yaelle
To: abn11b
Silky pony mane
Edwards why won't you love me
Your wife is a beast
31
posted on
10/19/2004 9:45:03 PM PDT
by
rocky88
(" John Kerry: The boy with his nose pressed up against the glass.")
To: NetSurfer
Cheat and cheat again
lie and lie and spin
or a liberal cannot win
32
posted on
10/19/2004 9:45:47 PM PDT
by
F.J. Mitchell
(The liberal Democrats are properly redefining themselves as the pro-aggressive party.)
To: Congressman Billybob
Springsteen sang for Johns.
Hollyweird showed its colors.
Not the boss of ME!
33
posted on
10/19/2004 9:46:04 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b; mikrofon; martin_fierro
Lanky Lurchlike lib,
He is the man with the plan:
A big tax haiku.
To: abn11b
Insulted the troops.
Hanoi Jane and John told lies
Made it his life's work.
35
posted on
10/19/2004 9:49:21 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: weegee
So much at stake now.
Civil War Two is brewing.
Libs riot in streets.
36
posted on
10/19/2004 9:51:45 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b
Have I told you yet?
I am a Vietnam vet
Offensive as Tet.
To: weegee
The air is rank
would someone flush the Johns
into the septic tank?
38
posted on
10/19/2004 9:53:57 PM PDT
by
F.J. Mitchell
(The liberal Democrats are properly redefining themselves as the pro-aggressive party.)
To: abn11b
I served my country
They were war criminals
vote for me I served
39
posted on
10/19/2004 9:57:21 PM PDT
by
aft_lizard
(Actually i voted for John Kerry before I voted against him.)
To: abn11b
Liquid tomatoes
Money pouring slowly out
Anticipation
To: abn11b
Dogs covered in Ketchup
fifty overseas factories
makes john a liar
41
posted on
10/19/2004 10:03:56 PM PDT
by
aft_lizard
(Actually i voted for John Kerry before I voted against him.)
To: aft_lizard
'bout the size of it.
You nailed John Kerry with that.
Hats off to you, man.
42
posted on
10/19/2004 10:04:27 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: abn11b
This is my birthright
I deserve all the power:
The cartel promised!
I know what I'll do--
I'll insert the old "L" word;
Christians don't like that.
I just don't get it!
Instead of staying away,
They're voting for Bush!
43
posted on
10/19/2004 10:10:53 PM PDT
by
Scothia
(If you pray for rain, prepare to deal with some mud.)
To: aft_lizard
nice one except only
six sylables in line two
maybe "they were all"?
44
posted on
10/19/2004 10:12:56 PM PDT
by
Hugin
To: Hugin
yeah I meant that darnnit. I was putting dashes between syllables to keep up and when I went back I must have deleted the all.
45
posted on
10/19/2004 10:16:21 PM PDT
by
aft_lizard
(Actually i voted for John Kerry before I voted against him.)
To: abn11b
Kerry performed well,
Then "Mary's a lesbian"
Now he will lose bad.
To: Hugin
Never seen this here.
Haiku responses to posts.
Try it on all threads?
47
posted on
10/19/2004 10:26:17 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: Scothia
October surprise.
Lurch Excommunicated.
Game over, John Boy.
48
posted on
10/19/2004 10:30:06 PM PDT
by
weegee
(Jean Kerry: "Je suis un singe qui mange le fromage de la rédition")
To: RightOnTheLeftCoast
Accusing Mary
Hey, Mister Subliminal
Watch out for Breck Girl
49
posted on
10/19/2004 10:33:19 PM PDT
by
ladysnape
(Is it more dangerous to be naive, or to be naive AND dangerous?)
To: ladysnape
Silky Pony hair
He can spend all day on it
Next a manicure
50
posted on
10/19/2004 10:43:40 PM PDT
by
ladysnape
(Is it more dangerous to be naive, or to be naive AND dangerous?)
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