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Clinton Plan to Boost Employment Partially Leaked [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 3 May 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 05/03/2020 1:09:49 PM PDT by John Semmens

Citing the "unprecedented opportunity presented by the COVID crisis," the Clinton Foundation is working on a plan to employ the 30 million who have lost their jobs due to the shutdown as government spies. Participants in developing this plan include former President Bill Clinton (retired sexual predator), Governor Andrew Cuomo (nursing home murderer), Chelsea Clinton (beneficiary of nepotism), and Governor Gavin Newsom (Chinese dupe).

"Obviously, we can't sustain an economy where tens of millions are permanently unemployed," Cuomo said. "But we can't go back to the way it was before the COVID pandemic. In New York City Mayor de Blasio has already started paying $57,000 a year to hire spies. It seems to me that there might be a large pool of individuals ready and willing to do this on a long term basis. I think if we could expand this to a nationwide program we could sop up employees who've been discharged from nonessential businesses and fulfill the continuing need for surveillance to enforce the new normal."

"I can confirm Andy's perspective," Newsom added. "Snitches have been very effective in my state. If even a single individual sets foot in a closed area like a beach or hiking trail, informers will alert the police and an arrest can be made. The fines imposed on violators will be used to help make up for revenue shortfalls due to all the closed businesses."

"So you're saying that all the jobs lost in the nonessential sector can be offset by creating these new jobs spying on neighbors?" Bill asked. "That doesn't seem possible."

"I don't think we're saying that domestic spies will be the only newly created jobs," Cuomo answered. "There'll have to be records clerks, supervisors, regional managers, etc. And since we're creating a permanent class of new crimes we'll need that infrastructure to be built and manned—police, judges, prison guards, wardens. We'll probably also have to invest more in a media campaign to ensure that the hysteria level is maintained. This will create even more new jobs."

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=400421.0


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: jobs; satire; spies; tyranny

1 posted on 05/03/2020 1:09:49 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Zzzzzz


2 posted on 05/03/2020 3:08:14 PM PDT by Phil DiBasquette
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