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Teens Prank Grocery Store [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 22 March 2020 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/22/2020 10:15:50 AM PDT by John Semmens

Pushed to the breaking point by the closure of restaurants, movies, beaches and other favorite sources of amusement, some teens are coughing on grocery store produce. One incident occurred in the Washington DC exurb of Purcellville, Virginia. Police investigating the case said that "there is a national trend by teenagers to cough on food, video it and post the video on the web."

Malcolm Tendt, admitted "camera man" in the Virginia prank, defended his peers, asking "what are we supposed to do for fun? None of the guys doing the coughing are really sick. The geezers who see us in the stores aren't supposed to be there and they're not tech-savvy enough to find our posts on the Internet. So, who are we hurting?"

Meanwhile in San Francisco, government officials have turned a blind eye to the rampant looting sweeping the locked-down city. Mayor London Breed suggested that "there's probably less of a chance of catching the virus breaking into a closed business than standing in line to buy food and toilet paper from a business that's open. I don't think police resources should be used to harass people who are only trying to stay healthy while meeting their daily needs."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=395547.0


TOPICS: Food; Health/Medicine; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: coughassault; coughterrorism; crime; hazmat; lickerstore; lockdowns; pandemic; satire

1 posted on 03/22/2020 10:15:50 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

What about a ‘citizens’ arrest’, with the repercussion of resisting arrest, visited upon the miscreant?


2 posted on 03/22/2020 10:24:25 AM PDT by Terry L Smith
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To: John Semmens

can the kids be ‘pranked’ by being forced to eat tide pods by the courts?


3 posted on 03/22/2020 10:26:28 AM PDT by Bob434
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