Skip to comments.Steyer Vows to “Declare a State of Emergency” [semi-satire]
Posted on 12/22/2019 11:56:57 PM PST by John Semmens
Democratic presidential contender billionaire Tom Steyer promised to declare a state of emergency on day one of my presidency in order to take the drastic steps necessary to prevent climate catastrophe. For too long we have been paralyzed by fear to act. Both Congress and the President have been unable to agree on what steps to take. Some point to the economic destruction that would result from outlawing fossil fuels. Others object to the suppression of individual freedoms weve become accustomed to. I will enforce the sacrifices needed to save the planet.
Among the list of drastic actions being contemplated are the mandatory evacuation of persons living in threatened areas, the elimination of all fossil-fueled activities, and the conscription of laborers to perform the work that outlawed machines have been doing for the last century.
Waiting until there is enough voter support behind the needed changes is unfeasible, Steyer contends. A visionary leader is required. I am that leader. I am asking voters to give me a mandate to rule by decree until the crisis has passed. Given how far gone the environment is now, it will likely require decades of martial law to rectify the damage done and enforce the new behaviors needed for the planet to heal.
The more moderate Joe Biden called for policies that would lead to the unemployment of millions in the energy sector, but insisted that the displaced workers would be shifted over to government jobs promoting regulations that would reduce climate change. Up until the Trump Administration the trend was for the public sector to expand to offset the jobs lost in the private sector. Not only were those jobs cleaner and less exhausting than the private sector jobs, they were also higher-paying. The next Democratic administration will restore that pre-Trump trend.
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He will declare a state of emergency because that shipment of Venezuelan coffee beans didnt arrive. The ship was hijacked by parties unknown
A person couldn’t have picked a zanier bunch of misfits and freaks if they tried their hardest :)
Lamentably, too accurate to be satire.
Tom Steyer, could you please stop the snowfall this winter? Thank you, slippery roads are so annoying.
Steyer, please warm up the evenings more, so that I can sit out on my porch.
Your Climate State of Emergency is great.
I look forward to warm snow free evenings.
And be immediately impeached for abuse of powers.
Feckless big mouth wealthy dope. Give him a lollipop and send him home so he can tell himself he has been validated by his “concerns”
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