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Murders Committed by Illegals Called "Bearable" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 Jan 2019 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/12/2019 7:22:52 AM PST by John Semmens

At a press conference this week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) defended her unbending opposition to increased border security by asserting that "the crimes committed by some of those illegally entering the United States are not sufficient justification for implementing stricter enforcement at the border. The murders of innocent Americans by foreigners are regrettable, but bearable."

"We are a large and populous nation," the Speaker pointed out. "We have plenty of room for persons who want to come live in America. The number of our citizens killed or harmed by individuals coming across our border without formal permission is only a tiny fraction of the more than 300 million who live here or did live here before they were murdered. In fact, it could be argued that the number of non-criminals who enter the United States is larger than the few citizens who are lost due to the predators coming in from the south. From a head-count perspective we are better off allowing more immigration from whatever source."

"It's not as if Americans are the only ones suffering," Pelosi added. "President Trump admitted that a third of the women and children trekking here are raped or sexually abused. And Amnesty International puts that figure in the 60% to 80% range. What I want to know is where is the sympathy for these victims? What I see and hear from most of those advocating for decreased illegal immigration is selfish concern for themselves."

In related news, the assessment that Pelosi and Schumer came off the losers in their attempt to rebut President Trump's speech on the border crisis prompted Pelosi to call for "a best-of-seven format. Sure we lost the opening match, but it wouldn't be fair to judge the issue on a single contest. The World Series has a best-of-seven format, as does the NBA Championship. Shouldn't the more important question of immigration have at least as robust a series of match-ups as the less important sports championships?"

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: crime; democrats; illegals; satire

1 posted on 01/12/2019 7:22:52 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

As George Carlin postulated in his bit “People Who Need to be Killed,” we can only hope that one of Pelosi’s children is beaten to death with a golf club, or placed in an outhouse and set on fire!

2 posted on 01/12/2019 7:27:42 AM PST by vette6387
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To: vette6387

My dad grew up in backwoods Ga and was fond of saying:

There is them you love
There is them you hate

Then there is them that just needs kill’n

3 posted on 01/12/2019 7:45:10 AM PST by taxcontrol
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To: taxcontrol

“Then there is them that just needs kill’n”

And America has a bumper crop of them!

4 posted on 01/12/2019 7:58:43 AM PST by vette6387
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To: John Semmens

Proof positive that these people contemptuously regard us as livestock.

5 posted on 01/12/2019 8:00:23 AM PST by sevlex
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To: John Semmens

What else would you expect from a democrat?

6 posted on 01/12/2019 12:16:32 PM PST by maxwellsmart_agent (I)
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