Skip to comments.Germany Requests Time-Out [semi-satire]
Posted on 01/11/2019 10:38:24 PM PST by John Semmens
After an evaluation of the country's armed forces showed that the German Army would not be ready for combat operations until 2031 at the earliest, Chancellor Angela Merkel made an impassioned plea to the global community to postpone any planned attacks on Germany until 2032 or later.
"We are in worse shape than the bourgeois democracies that were crushed by the blitzkrieg Germany sprung on them in 1939," the Chancellor confessed. "It would be unsporting for others to emulate the underhanded tactics that enabled our army to overrun most of Europe in the early stages of World War II."
Merkel admitted that she is especially concerned that US President Donald Trump "cannot be counted on to rescue us from an aggressor after the fuss he made over our failure to meet our NATO defensive obligations. I can see that a man who could so easily desert a feckless ally would have no qualms about putting the lives and well-being of Americans ahead of everyone else and let Germany be conquered by jihadis, Russians, or even such relative weaklings like Poland and France, who it just so happens are geographically positioned to envelope Germany in a grand pincer offensive."
While the rest of the global community has remained silent regarding Germany's request, President Trump promised that "no US troops would participate in any military aggression against Germany." Nevertheless, Merkel still complained that "Trump's promise selfishly forces us to feebly and probably fruitlessly fend for ourselves."
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
“Chancellor Angela Merkel made an impassioned plea to the global community to postpone any planned attacks on Germany until 2032 or later.”
Very good John!! Nice touch with “the global community”. LOL
Would be funny if Germany were a military power.
I think if you measured West German military power (up to 1989) against German-unification power (what came after 1989)....West Germany could beat a unified modern Germany in a war. That’s pretty sad to suggest that.
What else do you think?
The military of Das Will is dead. The best of the German militarism lies under the steppes of Russia. The spirit de corps that was is long gone. Parts of old Germany now speak Polish. The new Germany’s cities are like walking the streets of Manhattan, some of the cities politically think like Manhattan. The yoots are like they are here.
I suspect Angela Merkel is not a fav of their's...
Nice satire. I could just see Germany going to war against Russia and Russia just cuts off their gas lines. Surrender would come in short order.
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