Posted on 12/10/2017 7:46:07 PM PST by Michael.SF.
Troubled by the use of this cooking mainstay as a murder weapon, a member of the California State Assembly, Beverly Colinas of Baldwin Park, has introduced a bill to ban the use of cast iron frying pans.
“These pans have been used for years, by both womyn and men, not just for cooking, but also as a murder weapon. I do believe it is time for all womyn to speak out on this issue.” Ms. Colinas explained.
Troubled by reports of killings in both Bozeman and Bellingham Ms. Colinas elaborated: “My district includes Baldwin Park. Maybe it is a coincidence: Bellingham, Bozeman. But we could be next and if we can save one life, it will be worth it.”
Ms. Colinas reported that one victim was killed after his wife admitted to cleaning his cherished cast iron pan in hot soapy water.
“That pan originally belonged to my grandfather. He brought it with him to California, from Oklahoma, in ‘33” said Beau Rutledge, of Bakersfield, now serving a life sentence in Corcoran.
When asked if he had any regrets Mr. Rutledge responded: “None, she knew the rules.”
“Bakersfield. Do you see now why I am concerned?” said Ms. Colinas. “Men have been trying to teach womyn for generations on how to care for a cast iron pan and this where we are at today? A woman was killed because she used soap on a pan! Really?”
The bill applies only to uncoated cast iron pans and not to those made with coatings such as the popular Le Creuset line from France.
“I really do not think those who will pay $100.00 for a French frying pan are going to abuse it in such a fashion.” Ms. Colinas continued, “Remember the pans affected are only the ones that can be bought at any Cabela’s or Army Surplus store. Those people are not my constituents.”
Ms. Colinas has served since first elected in 1998. Originally criticized for changing her name Ms. Colinas defended the name change by stating:
“My district is 80% Hispanic. I did not change my name. I merely started using the Spanish translation. Do you really think the people here are going to vote for someone named: Beverly Hills?”
Upon further inquiry, Ms. Colinas elaborated:
“The Hispanic culture has had a major influence on me and my family, which does have Spanish blood. My parents adopted a girl from Guatemala. My brother’s life partner is from Nicaragua. I remember as a youth going to El Monte to listen to Riche Valenzuela and to Dodger games to see Fernando Valens. Taco Tuesday’s have long been a tradition in my family.”
The bill is currently stuck in committee but Ms. Colina’s remains optimistic:
“Let’s be honest here: The men this is going to impact, probably voted for Trump. And does their vote really matter?”
Hot soapy water on a cast iron skillet. No!
I have hemochromatosis and I support this.
/sarc
The support part, I do have hemo....
A woman with a rolling pin is a lot scarier than cast iron skillets.
Yes black iron
Also used as an attempted murder weapon in the film “Throw Momma From The Train”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7qqkHOjue8
Skillet? Remember what Barbara Bel Geddes could do with a leg of lamb?
Oops, my mind is going. Skillet. TCM ran a Paul Bartel movie with Mary Woronov last night. Among their other pairings was “Eating Raoul”, with more than one “death by skillet”, iirc.
“Skillet? Remember what Barbara Bel Geddes could do with a leg of lamb?”
I got my kid a fictional book about Alfred Hitchcock and a young kid called “A Hitch at the Fairmount”, where they solve a murder mystery in San Francisco in 1956. In the book they mention an “Alfred Hitchcock Presents” episode where a lady kills her husband with a leg of lamb.
We watched an episode of AHP a short time later, and it turned out to be the same one - “A Lamb to the Slaughter”.
Written by Roald Dahl, btw.
Do magnets stick to you? (sorry!)
Are you sure this is satire? I’ve heard actual live Democrats talk just like this...
No I repulse them, lol.
Is there any sane people left in Kalifornia. Are hammers next on this idiots list!!!
They can have my 12”, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet when they pry it from my cold dead hands.
I feel for the fictional guy as my wife has ruined the seasoning on more than one skillet. Dutch oven too. While not quite grounds for murder it could be grounds for divorce I’d say.
You know the seasoning is good when you can fry an egg with no oil/butter/lard etc and it doesn’t stick. I love this time of year as I can really get that seasoning built up just right on the wood stove. Unlike the wife, it can be renewed to a state of perfection every year.
Use a Skillet.
That’ll kill it!
:-)
“At the store, can you buy a new frying pan? I’m a little squeamish about using the one we use to kill people.”
Ha ha Ha!
As a Person who found out that my DNA has 1% Iberian Peninsula, I OBJECT to this Alleged Person Culturally Appropriating Spanish Culture! /s
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