Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Juror Explains Verdict in Murder Trial [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 3 Dec 2017 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/02/2017 11:39:38 AM PST by John Semmens

This week, Jose Ines Garcia Zarate, the man who shot and killed Kate Steinle in 2015, was acquitted of all homicide-related charges (murder, manslaughter, negligent homicide) by a San Francisco jury. The sole charge on which jurors could agree he was guilty was “illegal possession of a firearm.”

Speaking “off-the-record,” Juror X explained that “the fact that the defendant had previously been deported five times persuaded us that he was not really responsible for killing Ms. Steinle. On the one hand, several jurors blamed the government for inciting Mr. Garcia’s rage. Being repeatedly forced to sneak into the country at great effort drove him to live outside the law. Such a lifestyle entails risky behavior like carrying the weapon he carelessly fired into a crowd of shoppers and tourists at a waterfront pier. If our country’s borders were open Mr. Garcia would have been allowed to legally enter and would not have had to join the criminal underworld.”

“Other jurors blamed the lack of gun control,” Juror X continued. “If no one were allowed to have a gun it wouldn’t have been possible for Mr. Garcia to shoot anyone and Ms. Steinle would still be alive. It was felt that it would be unfair to lay all of the blame on Mr. Garcia when it is right-wing politicians who have blocked sensible gun confiscation. Logically, then, since in a sane society it would have to be illegal for anyone to have possession of a firearm, we were able to reach a consensus that convicting Mr Garcia of that charge would lead to the most just outcome that was within our power to bestow.”

“All of us agreed that Ms. Steinle’s death was a tragic accident,” Juror X added. “Mr. Garcia had no intent to kill her or anyone else. He was just blowing off steam. She, unfortunately, was in the wrong place at the wrong time. She wasn’t murdered. As a woman she couldn’t have been man-slaughtered. And negligent homicide would be a failure to use the care that a normally careful person would. Well, Mr. Garcia is not a normal person. He is a former felon and cannot be held to the same standard that a law-abiding, noncriminal person should be held.”

San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee called the verdict “a clear vindication of our sanctuary policy. It sends a message to all those living in fear of being mistreated by federal immigration goons that they can come to our city and be protected by our laws and, as the decision by this enlightened and socially progressive jury has shown, by the citizens of San Francisco.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://azconservative.org/2017/12/02/juror-explains-verdict-in-murder-trial/


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Travel
KEYWORDS: crime; illegals; sanctuary; satire

1 posted on 12/02/2017 11:39:38 AM PST by John Semmens
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

You had me for a minute with this one. Far too likely to be real.


2 posted on 12/02/2017 11:49:07 AM PST by Chewbarkah
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens
Good satire is indistinguishable from reality in this world. I posted the following on the CBS News boards:

I've seen a list posted several times here claiming that the court only proved Zarate unknowingly picked up a cloth covered item, and the gun went off accidentally. Which is basically the defense's story, hook line and sinker.

If the liberals here truly believe this story, it seems a travesty that Zarate was convicted as a felon in possession of a gun. He didn't know it was a gun, and got rid of it as soon as he knew. Now the federal government is going to lever this unfair conviction and hold him on parole charges.

I urge all liberals to start a GoFundMe page for Zarate's appeal and start writing to your Congresspeople. This poor undocumented immigrant deserves nothing less

I'll add the "sarc" tag if it's needed.

3 posted on 12/02/2017 11:49:59 AM PST by Rinnwald
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

A clear documentation why a bloody shooting war for the survival of civilization in the U.S. is all but guaranteed...


4 posted on 12/02/2017 2:31:02 PM PST by SuperLuminal (Where is another agitator for republicanism like Sam Adams when we need him?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: John Semmens

It’s quite disturbing to me that this sounds extremely plausible - I had to double-check that it was satire.

Don’t know how those jurors sleep at night.


5 posted on 12/02/2017 8:56:01 PM PST by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite it's unfashionability)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Some Fat Guy in L.A.

>Don’t know how those jurors sleep at night.

Quite well. To them, a white woman isn’t human, but a poor oppressed invader is their friend and ally.


6 posted on 12/02/2017 8:57:28 PM PST by JohnyBoy (The GOP Senate is intentionally trying to lose the majority.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson