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NBC Sexual Predator Seeks $30 million Payoff [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 3 Dec 2017 | John Semmens

Posted on 12/02/2017 7:52:49 AM PST by John Semmens

Former "Today Show" star Matt Lauer is threatening to sue NBC for the $30 million balance owed for the one-and-a-half years remaining on his contract with the network. Lauer was summarily fired earlier in the week following a raft of accusations that he sexually assaulted several women in his office.

Lauer's lawyer, Marvin Tushman maintains that "the firing is a breach of contract. Nothing that my client did was outside the bounds of normal behavior at the network. He wasn't the only one groping and boffing women at 30 Rock. For the NBC brass to make an issue of it after all these years and to single out Matt while letting others skate is manifestly unfair."

Tushman argued that "since this kind of behavior from the talent was tolerated over such a long period it created a sort of 'easement right' that Matt thought was a perk of the job. The fact that he was allowed to install a special door locking device to prevent his female visitors from escaping implies that management was okay with what he was doing. That none of these women publicly complained until recently was quite naturally interpreted by Matt as implied consent. And why not? He's a handsome and powerful man. Why wouldn't he think his attentions were wanted?"

A prospective lawsuit isn't Lauer's only option for blunting the financial impacts of his unemployment. He is rumored to be pitching a "tell all" book deal with several publishers. "I'm thinking that 'Lauer's Ladies' might be a good title for both a book and a movie," the former "Today Show" host mused.

In related news, Fox News personality Geraldo Rivera sort of apologized to Bette Midler after she posted a video from 1991 in which she accused him of drugging and groping her in the 1970s. "We newsmen work in a flirty business," he asserted. "I like to think of myself as more of a caresser or fondler than a groper. As I recall, Bette was unconscious at the time. So her characterization of me as a 'groper' seems harsh and unfair, but I'm a big enough man to take responsibility and I apologize if she feels that I violated her."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php?topic=293008.0


TOPICS: Humor; Politics; Society; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: allegations; media; satire; sex

1 posted on 12/02/2017 7:52:49 AM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

George Costanza would say: Was that wrong? Should I have not done that?


2 posted on 12/02/2017 7:59:35 AM PST by Gahanna Bob
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To: John Semmens

Matt Lauer has been a sexual predator at NBC for years; everyone knew it; the network brass knew it; the women knew it; Lauer was never corrected or warned his sexual predatory actions were bringing the network into disrepute. In fact Lauer’s predatory actions are only a pimple on the gangrene of the concurrent lying leftist treachery of NBC.

Let’s hope that Lauer’s lawyers take this to court where they and the NBC lawyers can publicly sling their feces at each other. But I suspect it will all be settled out of court.


3 posted on 12/02/2017 8:10:31 AM PST by Carl Vehse
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To: John Semmens

Marvin TUSH-Man?

Is this satire?


4 posted on 12/02/2017 8:27:44 AM PST by left that other site (For America to have CONFIDENCE in our future, we must have PRIDE in our HISTORY... DJT)
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To: John Semmens

Was it in his contract that he was allowed to grope and force himself on women?.


5 posted on 12/02/2017 8:50:09 AM PST by Vaduz (women and children to be impacted the most.)
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To: John Semmens

Read the morality clause. QED


6 posted on 12/02/2017 9:15:49 AM PST by DownInFlames
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To: John Semmens

IF there is NOT a purchase order/WORK ORDER for the installation of that ‘button’ on Lauer’s desk to remotely lock the door, then he illegally tampered with the building mechanics & his office mechanics specifically.

IF I ever worked for anyone who did that, I would be shouting from the rooftops about such a door locking system.

There has to be SOME kind of moral turpitude provision in any contract these days for this kind of money.


7 posted on 12/02/2017 10:05:52 AM PST by ridesthemiles (uen)
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To: John Semmens

This lawyer & Gloria Allred need to team up & form a new partnership. They are both sleazebags of the highest order.


8 posted on 12/02/2017 10:07:37 AM PST by ridesthemiles (uen)
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To: John Semmens

This lawyer & Gloria Allred need to team up & form a new partnership. They are both sleazebags of the highest order.


9 posted on 12/02/2017 10:08:57 AM PST by ridesthemiles (uen)
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To: ridesthemiles

The “button” could cause him some serious problems. If he locked the door and a person was unable to leave the room, he could be charged with something like false imprisonment and that alone could land him in prison. Correct?


10 posted on 12/02/2017 12:41:09 PM PST by christie
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To: John Semmens

I never know which parts are real and which are satire.


11 posted on 12/02/2017 12:45:13 PM PST by ichabod1 (Smoke does not mean fire when someone threw a smoke grenade.)
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To: ridesthemiles

I’ve been in lots of executive offices in which the exec had like a garage door opener under his desk that could be activated to release a magnetic lock and allow the door to close on its own. I’ve never heard of one with the ability to lock the door as well, but it would seem not much more technologically difficult to arrange — and there could be uses for it other than rape.


12 posted on 12/02/2017 12:48:13 PM PST by ichabod1 (Smoke does not mean fire when someone threw a smoke grenade.)
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To: ichabod1

The inappropriate behavior is real. The rationalizations are extracted using a remote “Vulcan mind meld” technique and are labeled “satire” because the technique has not been fully validated by scientific experimental research.


13 posted on 12/02/2017 5:00:58 PM PST by John Semmens
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