I learned early on that if I needed to discuss something with my wife that might cause a shit-storm, the place to do it was over a restaurant table, where she was loathe to make a scene.
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I hope you’re joking, but if not, more than a little cowardly. Not to mention ruining a good meal. I don’t like to make a scene, either, but in your case, I’d make an exception.
Oh, it’s true. Discussion is aided by tempered speech, plus the cool down time is shorter. Try it sometime. Unless, you know, screaming fits are your thing.