Pope's Contention that Islam Is Peaceful Takes Hit [semi-satire]

Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 7 August 2016 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Pope Francis' belief that Islam is a religion of peace was expressly contradicted by Boko Haram leader Abu Masab Al-Barnawi this week in an interview published in Al-Naba Newspaper. The Islamic terrorist vowed "to kill every Christian and blow up every church until all are for Islam in Nigeria and the world."

Al-Barnawi cited Christian charities as "the aggressors in this battle for men's souls. They prey upon the victims of calamities, seducing them with food, shelter, and medical supplies. They insidiously tempt them with kindness and mercy to turn them away from Allah's command to submit to Islam and fight against unbelievers."

The ISIS magazine Dabiq also chimed in against the portrayal of its attacks as "senseless violence," calling it a "smear by the enemies of Islam. We are not randomly killing people. We are targeting the unbelievers as the Quran bids us to do. The Pope can have his peace, but only after all Christians have submitted to Islam."

One of the historical grievances gnawing at Dabiq's editors was "the Christians' efforts against slavery. The profit from selling slaves is one of the boons granted to Muslims by Allah. The West's interference by suppressing this commerce unjustly deprived Muslims of rewards to which they are entitled."

The Pope professed himself as "unmoved by the threats of violent Muslims. I remain confident that the vast majority of Muslims will not lift a hand against Christians. Even the minority that do only send our martyrs to heaven a little bit earlier than they might have otherwise arrived. Is that really such a bad thing? What are a few more years on Earth compared to an eternity with the Lord? By granting Christians the opportunity to suffer and die for their faith might not these terrorists actually be helping them follow the example Jesus set for all of us?"

In related news, a recently released email obtained by Wikileaks from the stash of emails hacked from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton's unsecured server revealed that Clinton created a secret and illegal alliance between the United States and al-Qaeda to assassinate Libyan strongman Muammar Gaddafi and distribute weapons to Middle Eastern terror groups. Clinton Campaign Manager Robbie Mook rebuffed the revelation as "old news. The email is from 2011. None of the actions taken then can be undone now. We must not let ourselves be diverted from the greater threat posed by the possibility that Donald Trump might seize power and take this country in the wrong direction."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.gopbriefingroom.com/index.php/topic,219408.0.html

[Mrs. Don-o]

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