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DOJ Considering Prosecuting "Climate Deniers" [semi-satire]
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 13 Mar 2016 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/11/2016 2:42:07 PM PST by John Semmens

The US Department of Justice is exploring ways of "bringing climate change deniers to justice," said Attorney General Loretta Lynch in Senate testimony. "Global climate change represents the most severe threat to humanity that has ever existed. It is imperative that we be united in the struggle against this menace. Yet, there are elements of society that undermine this necessary unity by casting doubt in people's minds. We must put a stop to that."

Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI) urged the DOJ "to use all the tools at its disposal, including civil forfeiture and criminal sanctions, against these abettors of planetary disaster. We need to send a stern message that doubters will not have free rein to mislead and confuse the American public with their erroneous and nonconforming opinions."

Using the government's action against tobacco manufacturers as a model, Whitehouse demanded "a vigorous prosecution of these despoilers of Mother Earth. We are far beyond the stage where mere warning labels will suffice. The pain of financial destitution and imprisonment must be meted out to the producers, consumers, and defenders of the fossil fuel industry and its products."

Lynch thanked the Senator for his "passionate advocacy for the planet and willingness to embrace the harsh measures that will be necessary to win this battle," but also reminded that "there is only so much we can do in the time remaining before the next administration takes office in 2017. If we are to save the planet it is imperative that a Democrat succeed President Obama in office. The risk that a Republican president might undo the progress we've made by using a 'freedom of speech' excuse in order to shield deniers would be a setback that cannot be tolerated."

In other DOJ news, Lynch rebuffed suggestions that a criminal referral from the FBI on Hillary Clinton's email infractions would compel her to prosecute the former Secretary of State. "The decision on whether to take action against anyone is a matter of pure discretion," she asserted. "Simple violation of a criminal statute is not dispositive. If, in our judgment, justice would be better served by ignoring the infraction we are fully authorized to decline to carry the case forward."

Democratic National Committee Chairwoman Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (Fla) confirmed that "I have been assured by both President Obama and Attorney General Lynch that there will be no prosecution for any crimes Secretary Clinton may have committed in the course of her service in the Administration or on the campaign trail."

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

https://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/193110-2016-03-11-semi-news-semi-satire-march-13-2016-edition.htm


TOPICS: Government; Outdoors; Politics; Weather
KEYWORDS: climate; doj; lynch; satire

1 posted on 03/11/2016 2:42:07 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 03/11/2016 2:42:51 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Congratulations John - I didn’t think that there was any way to make this more obscene and offensive than it already is but you managed it nicely. I can’t tell where the story leaves off and the parody begins.


3 posted on 03/11/2016 2:47:02 PM PST by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: John Semmens
You know, John, 10 years ago, even talking about prosecuting "climate deniers" would have been laughed at and poo-pooed as fantasy.

And here we are, and they are dead serious!

4 posted on 03/11/2016 2:48:27 PM PST by PROCON
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To: John Semmens

Priceless John.


5 posted on 03/11/2016 3:02:16 PM PST by Blue Collar Christian (Ready for Teddy, Cruz that is.)
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To: John Semmens

Anymore I refer to your satire as Tomorrow’s News Today.


6 posted on 03/11/2016 3:07:54 PM PST by MeganC (The Republic of The United States of America: 7/4/1776 to 6/26/2015 R.I.P.)
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To: John Semmens

A very good one John, thank you.


7 posted on 03/11/2016 3:17:24 PM PST by Springman (Rest In Peace YaYa123, Bahbah, and Just Lori.)
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To: PROCON
And here we are, and they are dead serious!

Can we start shootin' 'em yet?

8 posted on 03/11/2016 3:23:42 PM PST by JimRed (Is it 1776 yet? TERM LIMITS, now and forever! Build the Wall, NOW!)
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To: JimRed
Can we start shootin' 'em yet?

Jim,if they are going to arrest us for our climate "denial", they have become tyrants and deserve the noose or 180 grains into the organ of choice.

9 posted on 03/11/2016 3:49:39 PM PST by PROCON
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To: John Semmens

Supposedly it was real and not satire. I read it either on Newsbusters or Breitbart as a news story.


10 posted on 03/11/2016 3:53:32 PM PST by SkyDancer ("Nobody Said I Was Perfect But Yet Here I Am")
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To: John Semmens

Thank you.


11 posted on 03/11/2016 6:11:43 PM PST by MarMema (2016 - Trump or Goldman Sachs)
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To: John Semmens

Be educated, not just entertained! Listen to The Jacki Daily Show!
Jacki is joined by #Todd Young, #ToddYoung the COO of the Southeastern Legal Foundation, to discuss the Washington Times op-ed piece: Obama Lawyers Would Deny Free Speech to Climate Change Skeptics.
Jacki also talks with Frank Gaffney, @SecureFreedom , ?@frankgaffney the Founder and President of the Center for Security Policy, about threats to the electric grid.
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12 posted on 03/31/2016 4:06:57 PM PDT by RaceBannon (Rom 5:8 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for)
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