Posted on 02/21/2015 9:54:44 AM PST by PROCON
How do we get rid of the scourge of “violent extremism” without taking direct and violent action against the perpetrators of the worst crimes against humanity in recent history?
Often the best ideas come to us when we least expect them.
Taking a break from the cares of high office, Barack Obama was shooting imaginary hoops in the Oval Office one day last week — doing fist pumps every time he “scored.” Suddenly, it occurred to him that he had to do something more than hitting short or medium-range jumpers; something more, even, than nailing three’s from beyond the arc.
With time running out, he stepped behind a potted plant at the edge of the office and let a shot fly from downtown directed at the wastebasket alongside his desk. In his mind’s eye, he sank the game-winner!
“I’ve got it,” he told his aides. “This is what we will do. We will launch a comprehensive jobs-for-jihadists program. It will be the best thing since Midnight Basketball.”
(Excerpt) Read more at spectator.org ...
Who better to meet and greet shoppers — and urge them to load their shopping carts to overflowing — than hooded and black-robed jihadists who will decapitate anyone who dares to oppose them? Recognizing the hugely stimulative effect (both for the company and the U.S. economy as a whole) of this surefire method of boosting consumption, Wal-Mart Stores Inc., with encouragement from the administration, now plans to boost pay for its lowest-paid U.S. employees to $10 an hour by next year, which is 38% higher than the current federal minimum hourly wage of $7.25. This will be a great inducement for otherwise unskilled jihadists to sign on as new “associates” at Wal-Mart. Look for the company’s stock price and its contributions to the Democratic Party to soar in coming months.
#2 Part of the Establishment of Free Community Colleges
As the president never tires of saying, we must “invest” more in the education and training of our young people —including, as he sees it, young jihadists who are contemptuous of everything Western education has to offer. In turning free community college into a new entitlement, the Obama administration will no doubt find a role for young jihadists to play not just as students but also as teachers in conducting training sessions on racial, religious, and gender sensitivity and diversity. To quote the president once again, the jihadists have “legitimate grievances.” Aren’t you just dying to find out what they are? This will give a whole new dimension to our greatly expanded community college system — if the president succeeds in selling his plan.
LOL...
Oooh, oooh, oooh, I have one to add....Community Organizer.
Hog pens sure need cleanin’.
Crocodile Dental Hygienist.
Obama administration positions.
Just look at Elibiary, etc etc...
#1 job for jihadis: FERTILIZER
ROTFLMAO....YOU owe me a new laptop!!! :-)
“#10 Sustainability / Reducing our Carbon Footprint
The jihadists want to turn the clock back more than 1,200 years — teaching us all to live like goat herders. What’s not to like about that? We have everything to learn from them about reducing our carbon footprint.”
You're mocking me, aren't you?
They have butcher and baker down-pat.
“No, we’re not mocking you. We’re just too nuanced.”
11) Personal Assistant to State Dept. Spokesperson
Jen Saki’s harem is about as homely as Janet Napolitano’s was.
They could whitewash the Wall at Facebook, clean the Twitter cages, and forge chains for LinkedIn
Crash Test Dummy?
MediaMatters/SEIU/Organizing-For-America could always hire them to Demonstrate against beheadings, right?
IRS agents.
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