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Venezuelan Police Seize Stash of Toilet Paper
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 31 May 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 06/01/2013 9:46:26 AM PDT by John Semmens

The Government's determination to impose a “socialist solution” to the nation's burgeoning spate of material shortages took what officials called “a major step forward” when police seized a hidden stash of 2500 rolls of previously privately owned toilet paper.

“These last remnants of a vital commodity have been rescued from the hands of the selfish and will now be redistributed according to the rules of social justice,” President Nicolás Maduro boasted. “There will be no more hoarding. Everyone will get an equal share.”

The allocation is estimated to amount to one-twenty-fifth of a sheet per person. That's a piece measuring roughly one inch by one-half inch. Those wanting to claim their share are asked to present themselves to the Ministry of Communes and Social Protection offices between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., Monday through Friday and to show a photo ID in order to receive their allotment of this “rescued” commodity.

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://www.freedomsphoenix.com/Opinion/135612-2013-05-31-semi-news-a-satire-of-recent-news-june-2-2013.htm


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: satire; shortages; socialism; venezuela

1 posted on 06/01/2013 9:46:26 AM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I’m conditioned now to look at the source whenever I see an odd headline ... yep ... satire.


2 posted on 06/01/2013 9:48:33 AM PDT by knarf (I say things that are true ... I can't prove it, but they're true)
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To: John Semmens

lol


3 posted on 06/01/2013 9:52:50 AM PDT by GeronL (http://asspos.blogspot.com)
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To: John Semmens
prolly a buck a square tooo...
4 posted on 06/01/2013 10:04:26 AM PDT by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: John Semmens
I find this same story on several other sources, The Japan Times, the Huffington Post, so I can't decide if it's satire or truthful. The truth is Venezuela is running out of toilet paper and blaming it on people “wasting” it and rich people grabbing it up. Socialism is great until you start running out of toilet paper! With apologies to Mrs. Thatcher.
5 posted on 06/01/2013 10:19:28 AM PDT by pepperdog ( I still get a thrill up my leg when spell check doesn't recognize the name/word Obama!)
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To: John Semmens; AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Berosus; bigheadfred; Bockscar; ColdOne; ...

:’)


6 posted on 06/01/2013 10:37:46 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
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To: John Semmens

When they come for your TP, you know the end of civilization, as we know it, has come to an end.


7 posted on 06/01/2013 10:51:06 AM PDT by TomGuy (.)
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To: TomGuy

8 posted on 06/01/2013 10:53:16 AM PDT by Sirius Lee (All that is required for evil to advance is for government to do "something")
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To: John Semmens

Well, an implicit admission that socialism is full of [expletive deleted].


9 posted on 06/01/2013 12:27:37 PM PDT by TBP (Obama lies, Granny dies.)
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