Skip to comments.Dem Says Aides Face Starvation Because of Sequester
Posted on 03/22/2013 11:08:06 PM PDT by John Semmens
A tearful Representative Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-Fla) blamed heartless Republicans for the severe hardships the sequester is imposing on members of her staff.
Nearly half of my office staff has been forced to forgo lunch on a daily basis because of the cruel budget cuts that have been forced down our throats by the GOP, the Congresswoman claimed.
The toll of suffering has been less than half because some have been able to make do with sack lunches of leftovers or peanut butter sandwiches they bring from home, she explained. This is not a solution that can be applied across-the-board, though. Some simply lack the skill required to assemble their own lunches. Others feel that going out for lunch is an essential part of being a person of stature.
Wasserman-Schultz suggested that those wanting to help preserve the dignity and health of those serving in government could make a cash donation to the Congressional Aide Feeding Fund and should call her office (202- 225-7931) to arrange for automatic monthly transfers from their checking accounts.
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
I could swear I read she actually said this....
Satire on top of satire?
It’s too much John!
SHEESH! Good one John. Thanks for the chuckle, and the ping.
Yep! You make me sick John! Your humor is just to close to reality but, OH so funny.
I did read that nearly drowned and still wet behind the ears, with a most unfortunate hairdo did indeed say:
Not to dump on your usual excellent humor but, it’s too damned much anymore.
I can’t stand the amount of stoopitity and ugly people anymore...
should we hope they eat eachother?
Wouldn’t it be nice if this were true...
Sorry Debbie whatshername? My give a damn is broken.
Doesn’t the cafeteria still serve the $2 Navy Bean soup?
I keep having visons of people dressed in rags bent over their desks in a counting house working by candle light.
She has enough in her saddle bags to sustain the masses.
I’m going to be laughing about this the entire weekend and likely into next week.
Every time a Democrat aide starves, an angel gets his wings.
There's always Food Stamps.
ROTFLMAO! Perfect! John, you really nailed this one!
LOL Sounds like something she would say.
That pig could feed an African village for 3-4 weeks.
Hell...had me looking up the toll free # for Dominoes before I realized it was you.
Good one John.
Well, they can just quit and find another job. According to King Barry, there should be plenty to choose from!
Hey Debbie. One egg in your hair every day is enough. Two gives it too much shine.
“Dem Says Aides Face Starvation Because of Sequester”
Damn! Wouldn’t that be great!
“Some simply lack the skill required to assemble their own lunches.”
I would change that sentence to
“All simply lack the skill required to assemble their own lunches.”
It would be a more accurate depiction of anyone who’d work in Debbie Wasserman-Schulz’s office.
I know this is satire, but Rush was trying to explain the sequester for almost one week for the “low information voters”. There is no spending cut, but only a cut in the rate of growth in spending.
The dims think this is bad, just wait until the new fees and taxes in 0 bummer care kick in on Jan 1, 2014. The voters will really get ticked off at them for “We have to pass it to find out what’s in it”.
When a chicken in every pot isn’t enough, now it’s a lobster that they’re wanting.
“Some simply lack the skill required to assemble their own lunches”
Heh. I find that part quite beleivable and not satire.
Hell, some of their bosses have tuened to a life of crime...
Will there be telethons? TV commercials showing aides in the desert with flies on their faces gripping empty bowls ?
1. Breakfast — $100/day
2. Lunch — $500/day
3. Dinner — $1,200/day
4. Snacks — $50/day
Plus $50,000 for the fat farm of your choice (60 days) to get you back into shape.
Nibbles: Bollinger champagne, Beluga caviar, and lobster.
Nothing is too good for Debbie and her staff!
Nothing is too good for Debbie and her staff
= = = = = = = = = = = = =
I had suggested a couple of years ago pay the Cong/Senators 2, 3 5 (pick a number) Million and let them pay for their own staff, extra quarters, transportation, basically ‘we’ just pay for their offices and basic security.
If they want to hire their wife, mother, son, daughter, grandfather etc etc, fine — but you get your yearly payment 1st day of the session and budget yourself till the next year OR do without.
You would find fewer ‘staffers’, less vacations, of course the fancy rentals, 5 star restaurants and hotels they now frequent will be complaining but............
Anything left over at the end of the year is theirs.
The bean soup makers in the Senate dining room were especially hard hit!!!
“Nearly half of my office staff has been forced to forgo lunch on a daily basis because of the cruel budget cuts that have been forced down our throats by the GOP, the Congresswoman claimed.”
What a ditz. I’ve got my office lunches down to $1 a day. It’s not Red Lobster but it keeps me until supper time.
If Democrats could not survive by eating the greasy black dirt underneath refrigerators, things would be much harder.
Oh, yes, if these august personages need to travel, they can do it commercially and get fondled by the TSA goons. If not, they can fly space available in a military C-5, C-17, or C-130. [Can you imagine Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’ fat behind taking up two troop seats on a C-130? Or, Nancy Pelosi wolfing down a military “box lunch” with no champagne or caviar? The horror! The horror!!]
I called, didn’t you? Can’t see poor Dem staffers starving now, can we ?
John, you don't know how close to the truth this is, as is the rest of your satire. Hysterical
Short but sweet. Cudos on hitting the liberal nerve!
Somehow I knew you would use this story for this week’s satire. Too irresistible to pass up.
Thanks yet again for the ping.
Darn it...this is just sooo sad.
If she had claimed that her staff desperately needed an increased daily liquor/drug ration I would have been more sympathetic.
Well, Deb, either pay them out of your own pocket, or tell them to go get a real job.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.