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Top Ten Reasons Why Obama is Not Satan
The American Catholic ^ | 3/18/2013 | Donald R. McClarey

Posted on 03/18/2013 3:19:37 PM PDT by markomalley

 

The Internet is abuzz with the fact that Satan on the History Channel’s The Bible miniseries, which has gotten great ratings, looks a tad like Obama if Michele gets him to go on a veggies only diet.  I really don’t see much resemblance but it does give us a good excuse to look at the top ten reasons why Obama is not Satan:

1.  Hell has never run a deficit.

2.  Satan, whatever his other manifest evils, has never voted present.

3.  Satan resides in Hell and Obama resides in Chicago.  (A small difference I concede.).

4.  Satan is the prince of liars, while Obama is at most an archduke of liars.

5.  Satan to my knowledge has never eaten dog.

6.  Satan has never used a teleprompter as far as I know.

7.  The people of the United States have never elected Satan as President, although if God were running as a Republican and Satan as a Democrat in Cook County, I would not like God’s chances.

8.  Satan has never attempted to have the Catholic Church pay for birth control.

9.  Satan gets almost as bad press in the Mainstream Media as the Republican party.

10.Satan does not have a second in command as dimwitted as Biden.


TOPICS: Politics; Religion
KEYWORDS: satan
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1 posted on 03/18/2013 3:19:37 PM PDT by markomalley
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To: markomalley

11. Satan’s wart is on his chin instead of next to his nose.


2 posted on 03/18/2013 3:23:38 PM PDT by laweeks
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To: markomalley

Those are good, especially #10.

“10.Satan does not have a second in command as dimwitted as Biden.”


3 posted on 03/18/2013 3:24:59 PM PDT by mkmensinger
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To: laweeks

12) Satan would write his own biography.


4 posted on 03/18/2013 3:25:57 PM PDT by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
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To: mkmensinger

5 posted on 03/18/2013 3:26:37 PM PDT by USFRIENDINVICTORIA
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To: CaptainK

13) Satan wouldn’t have a composite girlfriend.


6 posted on 03/18/2013 3:29:59 PM PDT by laweeks
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To: markomalley

14: Satan didn’t marry his beard.


7 posted on 03/18/2013 3:32:28 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (I can neither confirm or deny that; even if I could, I couldn't - it's classified.)
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To: markomalley

Satan has experience running a large complex organization successfully.


8 posted on 03/18/2013 3:34:51 PM PDT by muir_redwoods (Don't fire until you see the blue of their helmets)
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To: markomalley

15. Satan outwits people.


9 posted on 03/18/2013 3:37:32 PM PDT by Nomedeplume
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To: markomalley

11. Satans biggest accomplishment is convincing people he does not exist.


10 posted on 03/18/2013 3:37:54 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: markomalley

Satan knows what he’s doing
Satan does not need Jarret to act on his behalf
Satan will occasionally do something right if only to throw people off...

This could go on for (insert Carl Sagan here) BILLIONS AND BILLIONS of examples.


11 posted on 03/18/2013 3:39:24 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: markomalley

#5 is a hoot. Gotta remember that one. Thanks for the laugh!


12 posted on 03/18/2013 3:42:32 PM PDT by PeevedPatriot
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To: 2111USMC; 21stCenturion; 2ndDivisionVet; 3AngelaD; 4mycountry; 5Madman2; 66-442hot; 6amgelsmama; ...
This could be fun thread...

13 posted on 03/18/2013 3:42:46 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: markomalley

Obama/Satan - One of them believes in God.


14 posted on 03/18/2013 3:44:06 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: markomalley

Satan knows Scripture and can quote it correctly...


15 posted on 03/18/2013 3:47:36 PM PDT by Gritty (The Constitution's purpose is to insulate personal freedom from the lust for power-Judge Napolitano)
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To: Norm Lenhart
Obama/Satan - One of them believes in God.

The other one thinks he's God.


16 posted on 03/18/2013 3:49:02 PM PDT by darkwing104 (Let's get dangerous)
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To: markomalley

16. Satan would never have married Michelle, he already knew what Hell is.


17 posted on 03/18/2013 3:50:55 PM PDT by Michael.SF. (Obama lied, Stevens died.)
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To: Gritty

LOL. also, Satan doesn’t have a “wife”.


18 posted on 03/18/2013 3:52:18 PM PDT by ZinGirl (kids in college....can't afford a tagline right now)
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To: NYer

lulz Ping


19 posted on 03/18/2013 3:53:11 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: Lucky9teen

Hang onto it for Friday, OK?


20 posted on 03/18/2013 3:55:17 PM PDT by Monkey Face (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. ~ Ben Franklin)
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To: Secret Agent Man
14: Satan didn’t marry his beard.


21 posted on 03/18/2013 3:55:33 PM PDT by Hugin
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To: markomalley

The devil is not negro


22 posted on 03/18/2013 3:57:52 PM PDT by bert ((K.E. N.P. N.C. +12 .....The fairest Deduction to be reduced is the Standard Deduction)
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To: darkwing104

Honestly I don’t think he’s that smart. Someone/Someteleprompter told him to think that way and he said ‘OK!’ because that’s all he knows how to do.

I really don’t think he is a narcissist anymore. All kidding aside, I think he’s a literal lump of clay and takes the shape of whoever molds him. Left to his own devices he’d sit in a room alone and drool for lack of instruction on what to do next.

I really believe that.


23 posted on 03/18/2013 3:58:11 PM PDT by Norm Lenhart
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To: Hugin

24 posted on 03/18/2013 3:58:27 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: Lucky9teen

17. Satan does not have a prayer rug.


25 posted on 03/18/2013 4:00:41 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: markomalley

Even before Obama was nominated, I read a very interesting exchange on another forum. It began in the usual nonsense thread about the possibility that Obama was the antichrist.

At some point, an Obama supporter said he actually wished that Obama *was* the antichrist. Why? “Because then he would be powerful, and give us (his supporters) what we want, and punish the people we hate.”

The trouble is, I think that Obama supporter really meant it. He was so shallow that life for him was distilled into getting free stuff, and hurting those he hated.

Whether or not Hell really exists, this seems to me to be a person destined for it, as no other destiny seems appropriate.


26 posted on 03/18/2013 4:01:23 PM PDT by yefragetuwrabrumuy (Best WoT news at rantburg.com)
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To: Lucky9teen

I can see the resemblance...


27 posted on 03/18/2013 4:01:58 PM PDT by Fred Nerks (FAIR DINKUM)
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To: markomalley

Satan has standards. Obama does not.

Satan doesn’t have a Wookie wife.

Satan knows that there is a God. Obama doesn’t.

Obama has more little “devils” to help him in his quest for power.

Satan would reject Anita Dunn on general principles.

Satan is not a friend of labor unions.


28 posted on 03/18/2013 4:03:10 PM PDT by MadMax, the Grinning Reaper
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To: markomalley

1. Satan has a brain.


29 posted on 03/18/2013 4:03:39 PM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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To: markomalley

Gravitas.


30 posted on 03/18/2013 4:04:59 PM PDT by RegulatorCountry
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To: Georgia Girl 2
18. Satan knows how to pronounce 'corpsman.'

19. Satan knows there is no Austrian language.

20. Satan doesn't think Youtube videos cause Muslims to attack.

31 posted on 03/18/2013 4:06:05 PM PDT by TigersEye (The irresponsible should not be leading the responsible.)
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To: All

21. Satan knows how to shoulder a shotgun.


32 posted on 03/18/2013 4:09:10 PM PDT by TigersEye (The irresponsible should not be leading the responsible.)
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To: Lucky9teen

#? Satan plays a fiddle hard; Obama thinks it’s too hard to play a fiddle.


33 posted on 03/18/2013 4:10:38 PM PDT by Ingtar (Everyone complains about the weather, but only Liberals try to legislate it.)
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To: TigersEye
In my best Jack Benny

I'm thinking, I"m thinking...

34 posted on 03/18/2013 4:10:55 PM PDT by gov_bean_ counter (Hope and Change has become Attack and Obfuscate.)
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To: Nomedeplume

And oBammy didn’t?/hasn’t? Are you kidding?


35 posted on 03/18/2013 4:11:10 PM PDT by TomServo
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To: gov_bean_ counter

22. Satan knows who Jack Benny is. 0bama thinks Jack Benny is a British comedian.


36 posted on 03/18/2013 4:13:42 PM PDT by TigersEye (The irresponsible should not be leading the responsible.)
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To: TomServo

I guess I meant “smart people”.


37 posted on 03/18/2013 4:13:55 PM PDT by Nomedeplume
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To: markomalley

Well, the anti-christ is the opposite of jesus
1. jesus was from a virgin birth - obama born from a whore
2. jesus says children are a gift from above- obama aborts them
3. jesus is truth- obama is a liar
4. jesus hates lawyers, obama is a lawyer
5. jesus destroys gays (sodom and gommorah)- obama embraces them
6. Democrats are the party (the people) that denied god three times in the open for the world to see.. catholics are wanting the chruch to “change” with the times— but only one problem with that— jesus (God) hasnt changed- jesus says “ you see me you see the father” - they think the same, and have no regrets about destroying gays at sodom and gommorah, or any other thing written-


38 posted on 03/18/2013 4:14:04 PM PDT by chicken head
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To: markomalley

Satan is envious of BO because BO won’t tell him where the other 7 or 8 states are.

Satan doesn’t need a teleprompter to tell him how to wreak havoc.

Satan doesn’t think he is God.

Satan TELLS Tiger Woods to come to HIS golf course.

Satan doesn’t blame women for his shortcomings.


39 posted on 03/18/2013 4:14:13 PM PDT by xrmusn (6/98 --I turn 75 next year- but remember, that's only 24 Celsius. (TKS R. Reagan))
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To: markomalley

I would dispute #8; he has agents doing his bidding, some quite enthusiastically.


40 posted on 03/18/2013 4:14:58 PM PDT by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: TigersEye
23) Satan doesn't throw like a girl
41 posted on 03/18/2013 4:17:29 PM PDT by CaptainK (...please make it stop. Shake a can of pennies at it.)
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To: gov_bean_ counter

I'm thinking....I'm thinking....
42 posted on 03/18/2013 4:22:01 PM PDT by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: TigersEye

21. Satan knows there are only 50 states.


43 posted on 03/18/2013 4:25:46 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: Georgia Girl 2

24. Satan knows there are only 50 states.


44 posted on 03/18/2013 4:28:11 PM PDT by Georgia Girl 2 (The only purpose of a pistol is to fight your way back to the rifle you should never have dropped.)
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To: markomalley

24. satan does not attract flies to face like Obama
25 obama stinks, at least Satan probably takes a bath.
26. satan is at least organized, obama cannot find his way out of a paper bag.


45 posted on 03/18/2013 4:36:38 PM PDT by hondact200 (Candor dat viribos alas (sincerity gives wings to strength) and Nil desperandum (never despair))
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To: CaptainK
25. Satan would let a dog drag him around.


46 posted on 03/18/2013 4:38:21 PM PDT by TigersEye (The irresponsible should not be leading the responsible.)
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wouldn't let a dog drag him around (grrr)
47 posted on 03/18/2013 4:39:31 PM PDT by TigersEye (The irresponsible should not be leading the responsible.)
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To: markomalley

48 posted on 03/18/2013 4:42:17 PM PDT by JoeProBono (A closed mouth gathers no feet - Mater tua caligas exercitus gerit ;-{)
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To: markomalley

Satan knows Obama is not God.
Satan didn’t outsource running the DNC.


49 posted on 03/18/2013 4:49:11 PM PDT by mnehring
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To: Georgia Girl 2
27. Satan wouldn't bow to...


50 posted on 03/18/2013 4:50:53 PM PDT by TigersEye (The irresponsible should not be leading the responsible.)
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