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Democrats Debate Nuances of Gun Control
Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 2 Feb 2013 | John Semmens

Posted on 02/01/2013 7:30:49 PM PST by John Semmens

Vice-President Joe Biden, the man tapped by President Obama to lead his Administration’s efforts to push gun control legislation, acknowledged that “Nothing we are going to do is fundamentally going to alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that we will bring gun deaths down.”

Biden insisted that critics’ contention gun control laws are, therefore, useless or counterproductive “represents a short-sighted view. While the projected impact on criminals is likely to be minor, the number of firearm fatalities at the hands of the law-abiding will go down. To the extent that the laws deter or delay access to weapons by those willing to conform to the rules, fewer people will be shot by these persons.”

“Look, everybody with any sense knows that your hardcore criminal isn’t going to be swayed by any rules we can enact,” Biden added. “Case in point, Chicago has some of the strictest gun control laws in the country. In fact, many of the measures we’re looking at for a nationwide program are modeled on what Chicago has already done. Yet Chicago has one of the worse murder rates in the country precisely because criminals there don’t obey the City’s laws. But just because we can’t keep guns out of the hands of these outlaws doesn’t mean we have to give up on the idea of disarming as many others as we can.”

Senator Dick Durbin (D-Ill) took issue with Biden’s perspective saying that “the Vice-President’s distinction between criminals and the so-called law-abiding is flawed. If we do it right, mere possession of a gun will be a criminal offense. So by definition the number of criminals we will be able to crackdown on will be expanded. If police are the only ones allowed to legally have weapons the whole job of enforcing gun control would be simplified—anyone else brandishing a gun would automatically be classified as an armed and dangerous felon and could be legitimately shot on sight.”

Senator Diane Feinstein (D-Calif) asserted that “while Senator Durbin is, I think, on the right track. I believe that there may be a need for persons other than the police to be authorized to carry weapons. Those of us in government who may be targeted by extremists should be permitted to defend ourselves. Tragic as it may be for a private citizen to be victimized by a gun-toting assailant, it cannot compare with the threat to our whole social and political system that an assault on a member of our government poses. There is a paramount need for us to prevent such a possibility in any way that we can.”

In related news, the Department of Homeland Security’s stockpile of bullets reached the two billion round mark this past week. Quizzed as to why her Department would need six times as many rounds as the entire population, Secretary Napolitano pointed out that “while it would take only a single bullet to the head to dispatch a person, we cannot rely upon those who pose a threat to the government to be so accommodating as to just line up to be shot. We need the firepower to overcome any resistance or, better still, to project an image so daunting that none would dare rise up against us.”

if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...

http://azconservative.org/2013/02/02/democrats-debate-nuances-of-gun-control/


TOPICS: Government; Politics
KEYWORDS: crime; democrats; guns; satire

1 posted on 02/01/2013 7:30:58 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


2 posted on 02/01/2013 7:32:36 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


3 posted on 02/01/2013 7:32:57 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; 43north; ...

ping


4 posted on 02/01/2013 7:33:52 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

I dont think that this is very funny...


5 posted on 02/01/2013 7:36:40 PM PST by ColdSteelTalon (Light is fading to shadow, and casting its shroud over all we have known...)
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To: John Semmens
Nuance???

There is no "nuance".

Any gun control legislation is nothing more than a bloody-minded and bloody-handed attempt to place honest citizens naked and defenseless in the face of violent criminals and violent tyrants.

Durbin and Feinstein are of the same substance as Hitler and Stalin.

6 posted on 02/01/2013 7:38:02 PM PST by ArrogantBustard (Western Civilization is Aborting, Buggering, and Contracepting itself out of existence.)
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To: John Semmens

Now it all makes sense!

Unless I take my meds.


7 posted on 02/01/2013 7:45:19 PM PST by Mark (For the first time in my life, I'm no longer proud of my country.)
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To: ColdSteelTalon; John Semmens

Satire does not necessarily have to be funny to be satirical. In this case there is some humor in the plausibility of some of the dialogue.

Congrats John. You really know how the Leftist mind works.


8 posted on 02/01/2013 7:48:01 PM PST by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: John Semmens
mental losers
9 posted on 02/01/2013 7:51:41 PM PST by Berlin_Freeper
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To: John Semmens

That’s actually so not funny because that is how they think.


10 posted on 02/01/2013 7:56:27 PM PST by Vendome (Don't take life so seriously, you won't live through it anyway)
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To: ColdSteelTalon

“I dont think that this is very funny...”

But, that’s an actual quote from Joe Biden. The rest flows from that.

“Nothing we are going to do is fundamentally going to alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that we will bring gun deaths down,” is just what he said.


11 posted on 02/01/2013 8:15:20 PM PST by DBrow
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To: John Semmens

Fake, but accurate.


12 posted on 02/01/2013 8:37:20 PM PST by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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To: John Semmens
Nothing we are going to do is fundamentally going to alter or eliminate the possibility of another mass shooting or guarantee that we will bring gun deaths down.

Then why the {expletive} would you even consider taking action you know and acknowledge will be ineffective? Ooh, that's right, it isn't about safety, that's just a line. It is about control. ESAD you fascist.

13 posted on 02/01/2013 8:44:29 PM PST by ThunderSleeps (Stop obama now! Stop the hussein - insane agenda!)
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To: John Semmens

People are KILLED by guns BECAUSE they are UNARMED... mostly...


14 posted on 02/01/2013 9:07:26 PM PST by hosepipe (This propaganda has been edited to include some fully orbed hyperbole..)
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To: John Semmens
gun control is hitting your target, "What's behind me is not important..."
15 posted on 02/01/2013 9:43:42 PM PST by Chode (Stand UP and Be Counted, or line up and be numbered - *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)
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To: John Semmens

Perfect semi-satire..as always.

Semi-news...it’s what these overlords really think!

Thanks for the ping.


16 posted on 02/01/2013 10:10:23 PM PST by berdie
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To: John Semmens

Unfortunately, this too close to the truth.


17 posted on 02/02/2013 8:21:12 AM PST by Jonty30 (What Islam and secularism have in common is that they are both death cults.)
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To: John Semmens

You perfectly capture the screwed up logic. Thanks again for the ping.


18 posted on 02/02/2013 1:35:15 PM PST by fatnotlazy
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To: John Semmens

Thanks for the ping.


19 posted on 02/03/2013 11:41:21 AM PST by GOPJ ( Revelation can be more perilous than Revolution. Vladimir Nabokov)
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