Posted on 01/11/2013 7:17:44 PM PST by John Semmens
In what he called a “stroke of genius,” Vice-President Joe Biden suggested that President Obama could bypass both Congress and the Constitution by using an Executive Order to solve the gun violence crisis.
“It was when I heard people talking about minting trillion dollar platinum coins to solve the debt ceiling thing that I got the idea of using platinum to get around 2nd Amendment objections to gun control,” Biden boasted. “If the President were to simply require that platinum be the only metal permitted in bullets we could effectively eliminate privately held guns without actually banning them.”
The Vice-President argued that “as Commander-in-Chief, the President has the Constitutional authority to prescribe the types of weapons and ammunition that the 2nd Amendment says a ‘well regulated militia’ should have. The simplicity of my proposal is that we wouldn’t be infringing on the right to bear arms. People would still have this Constitutionally protected right, but very, very few could afford the cost of ammunition.”
Biden added that “there would also be significant gains from eliminating the accumulation of lead in our environment from spent rounds hitting trees and dirt when hunters miss their targets. So, in a way it’s kind of a bipolar inspiration I had.”
Senator Diane Feinstein (D-Calif) heralded Biden’s idea as “a breakthrough of enormous magnitude. The only thing I would add is a proviso that the platinum requirement would only apply to ammunition used by private gun owners. Government law enforcement would need to be exempt for budgetary reasons.”
Feinstein suggested that “existing stocks of lead bullets in private hands could be retrieved via some sort of mandatory ‘buy back’ program. This would effectively criminalize all possession of leaded ammunition as well as give the government an overwhelming advantage in firepower against any opposition.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2013/01/11/veep-suggests-platinum-solution-to-gun-control/
Look for the ones with loose battery cables. The alarm won’t be working.
About a year ago the EPA banned lead wheel weights.
Coincidence? Nah....
Lead acid batteries make nice collectibles.
Dang John. Don’t give the commies any ideas.
There’s the link for the koinkydink ~ Feinstein’s menopause challenges the onset of Hoplophobia ~
People must certainly siddle away to the far end of the car when you come up with applicable poetry~!
This is the guy Obamugabe imagines ought to investigate the Newtown shooting ~ to come up with solutions ~ or was that solitons.
Joe will never know, but Fur Shur the dude is going to steer everybody away from folks who've had brain surgery!
Stop giving them ideas.
Your satire’s proximity to reality should make us all weep. Better, I suppose, to laugh.
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