Of course, it will be an Immaculate Deception
Posted on 12/20/2012 6:50:44 AM PST by ken5050
Sec. of State Hillary Clinton announced this morning that she's approximately two months pregnant, and would thus be resigning immediately. Against the background of two of her top aides testifying this morning to Congress about the multiple failures in the State Dept outlined in the just released report on the Benghazi, Clinton, in a prepared statement, revealed that because of the very high risk nature of the pregnancy, given her age, her doctors had advised that she "pretty much spend the next 7 months in bed."
Clinton's aides revealed that the flu, which forced her to cancel her appearance before Congressional committees today, was in fact due to severe morning sickness.
"She obviously regrets the slight deception, but is sure that Congress, and the American people, will understand and forgive her, given the circumstances," the aide stated.
Pregnancies at her age are quite rare, but not unheard of. They are by definition very high risk, but with proper medical care and a careful lifestyle, can be carried successfully to term. But obviously, the demands of the position, the long hours and extensive travelling, make it impossible for her to continue in her duties, and she will be resigning immediately.
The aide further stated that given the doctor's orders for complete rest, it's highly unlikely that she will be able to testify before Congress until several months after the baby is born, assuming of course that Congress still wishes to hear from her at that time.
The White House was obviously caught by surprise at the sudden announcement, and had no comment except that "President and Mrs. Obama wish the Clintons all the best in this time of great joy."
When asked if this would result in an immediate nomination of a replacement, the WH again had no comment.
Congratulatory messages began arriving almost immediately, from all over the world.
Jennifer Aniston Tweeted: "You go girl!Let's compare baby bumps!"
Kate Middleton, in a statement, congratulated the Clintons, and hoped that they could one day arrange play-dates, either at Buckingham Palace or in Chappaqua.
Huma Abdelin, Clinton's top aide at the State Department, was stopped by a reporter while she was wheeling her own bay in a stroller. She too was completely surprised at the news but broke into tears of joy when told. "I'm so happy for them," she said. If this new baby brings them as much joy as Anthony and I have with our child, they will be very blessed."
Monica Lewinsky Tweeted: "U GOT TO BE KIDDING!"
FYI
So who’s the lucky turkey baster?
“Hillary Clinton announced this morning that she’s approximately two months pregnant”
EEEWWWW!!!!
Srsly?
Fishing early? It is funny.
Clinton seemed very surprised, loudly remarking “Whoa!!!!” possibly because he didn’t expect the announcement to come so soon.
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And possibly because he had no idea. He - like all of America - wonders who the daddy is.
(”That damn Hubbell again!”)
What exactly did she fall on?
You really need to put something in parenthesis to warn people this is humor.
Of course, it will be an Immaculate Deception
She should have stayed away from that pickle jar...
It’s the antichrist. Who else could have been his mother? Pelosi perhaps...
ken
funny and disgusting at the same time, well done.
Either that or she got splashed!
What exactly did she fall on?
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Her butt obviously. Didn’t ya hear? She has a brain concussion.
Was she wearing a stained blue pants suit?
There is not enough alcohol to even make that possible
Now why don't you go out and get a life. you apparently have way too much time on your hands.
Probably Janet Napolitano.
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