Skip to comments.DUmmie FUnnies 11-09-12 (DUmmies invite us to Kamp Kumbaya!)
Posted on 11/09/2012 10:48:37 AM PST by Charles Henrickson
"Let's all be pals now, shall we? And why don't you poor, misguided, voting-against-your-own-interests Republicans--why don't you all come over to OUR campfire here at Kamp Kumbaya and stay for a while and become enlightened like us?" That's the theme here in this day-after THREAD by DUmmie dawg, "A serious and sympathetic post for any lurking conservatives."
So it turns out the DUmmies like us, after all. Isn't that nice? Let's all get along. Just pull out our spines and lobotomize our brains, and we can all become one big happy family, living in a beautiful Prog Land of Big Teat, Big Nanny, Big Gaia, Big Barrenhood, Big Homo, and Big Weed. Ah, it's a brave new world!
So let us now all hold hands and skip on over to Kamp Kumbaya, in Campfire Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, battered and bruised but unbowed, is in the [brackets]:
A serious and sympathetic post for any lurking conservatives.
[Sniff, sniff . . . (wiping tears from eyes) . . . What's that you say, DUmmie dawg? You have a SYMPATHETIC post for us? Are you being serious? Why, yes, you are. You even say so: "A serious and sympathetic post." Please, go on, DUmmie dawg. And don't mind me if I'm still blubbering a bit. It's been a rough go.]
Your pollsters and your pundits lied to you. They told you all the mainstream polls were "skewed". They told you it was going to be a Romney landslide.
[How about when YOUR pollsters told you that Gore was going to win? Oh, that's right. He did. But the rethuglicans stole it. Or how about when your pollsters told you Kerry was going to win? Oh, that's right. He did. But the rethuglicans stole it. So . . . hmmm . . . could it be possible . . . Philadelphia, Cleveland, Miami. . . . A few hundred thousand votes in a few key states. . . . NAAAAHHH!!!]
They lie to you about other things as well. They are lying to you about climate change.
[You see, the truth is this: Climate change (formerly, "global warming") can ONLY be man-made. More specifically, it can only be rich-white-man-made. Otherwise, there would NEVER be ANY variation in climate. The weather would be EXACTLY the same from year to year. . . . BTW, DUmmies, the 1930s called. They want you to come and visit the Dust Bowl.]
And they constantly lie to you about the income distribution of the tax cuts they propose.
[The truth is this: We should tax everyone making over $250,000 a year--we should tax those rich white b*st*rds at 100% of their income! No, change that, 110%! Put them in chains! Make them indentured servants! Get out the whips! That'll solve our debt crisis! Then we'll have all the money we need for roads and bridges and schools and teachers and free healthcare and free birth control and free smart phones and . . . and. . . . Hold on, wait a minute. . . . If we take all the money away from all the rich people, and then they have no money left, then how. . . . No, don't want to think about it!! Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts! Tax the rich! Tax the rich! Income equality! Free birth control! Step right up, getchyer free Obamaphone!]
The biggest lies they tell, though, are about us - the liberals. The truth is this:
[Oh, please tell us, DUmmie dawg! It's become obvious now, based on what you have said, that they must have been withholding the truth from us about you liberals! Please straighten us out!]
We believe in hard work. . . .
[BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Oh, that's a good one! I get it, you're starting out with a little humor! "Hard work"! Ha! You've turned the safety net into a hammock. Well, I suppose you do believe in SOME people doing hard work, so you can have some wealth to redistribute.]
and that it would be best if every able-bodied working age person had a job.
[It would be best, but we're not going to do anything about it. In fact, we're going to reward non-work, and provide incentives for people who want to stay on non-work. And we're going to punish the people who do work hard and who do achieve, loading lots of disincentives on them and taxing them out the wazoo. Sounds like a plan!]
We believe in families; strong families make a strong America.
[So let's provide programs to encourage and enable GENERATIONS of Americans to abandon marriage and have no father in the home, thus destroying the black family, destroying neighborhoods, driving out jobs, ruining schools, creating crime. . . . Let's have strong HOMOSEXUAL "families" (sic, sick). . . . Let's punish hard-working families, loading them down with so much taxes and government regulations that they have no time or money for anything else! Yes, strong families! Do go on, DUmmie dawg. . . .]
We believe in the freedom of religion. We would never support a candidate who was openly hostile to Christianity. . . .
[Oh, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This may be the FUnniest one of all! You see, we've been doing the DUmmie FUnnies here for over eight years. And if there's one leitmotif running through the annals of DUmmieland, it is the open, abject HATRED of Christianity and Christians! Every day, in every way, Christianity is ridiculed and reviled in the DUmp. Expressing traditional moral values is grounds for tombstoning. Now I suppose the CANDIDATES you support are a little more circumspect about being OPENLY hostile to Christianity. They want to get elected. But their policies--abortion, homosexual "marriage," the Obamacare HHS mandate--these are a BIG slap in the face to Christians. But, please continue, DUmmie dawg . . .]
We believe in success. Most of us do not favor punitive tax rates for the rich. . . .
["Most of us" = "Hardly any of us." The whole Obama "campaign," if you want to call it that, was BASED on punitive tax rates for the rich.]
We believe in free enterprise capitalism (well, most of us). . . . we favor regulated capitalism. . . .
[Well, we believe in sort of a Marxist free-enterprise capitalism. . . .]
Most of all, we believe in America. We love this country. . . .
[As long as we can smoke our weed and abort our babies and shack up with anything we please and live in a safe, nanny-state, cradle-to-grave, mediocre, gray little world. And make others put up with that and pay for that.]
We may not always be right about everything. . . .
[In fact, we not be right about anything. . . .]
but we are motivated by our love of the country and its people - ALL of its people.
[Except the Rethuglicans. And the Christians. And the rich white guys. They can go to hell. Or, better yet, they should be reprogrammed and bow to our will and become like us. Yes, come join us here at Kamp Kumbaya, dear friends! We'll fix you!]
We are your friends and your neighbors.
[I can see the commercial now . . . (Announcer's voice, with images of tattooed freaks playing on the screen) . . . We're the Democrats. We're your neighbors. You know, the weird ones down the block, the lesbians who take their out-of-wedlock children to the day-care center before going to the Wicca meeting. Yeah, that's us. We're your neighbors. We're the Democrats.]
I'm telling you the truth.
[THANK you, DUmmie dawg! Thank you for enlightening us! Thank you for your kind sympathy and concern! Thank you for inviting us over to Kamp Kumbaya! We really appreciate it. You like us! You really like us! No wonder your conciliatory post got HUNDREDS of recs and likes over there at the DUmp! Let's hear from a few of our new friends . . .]
dawg. this is an excellent post. i am a voice along with yours.... thank you.
[Oh, yes, THANK you, DUmmie dawg! Beautifully written!]
you deserve great credit for your compassion and veracity. . . .
[Speaking truth to poor deluded conservatives! How noble of you!]
He's your President, too. . . . I am confident that President Obama will work in the best interests of all Americans. . . .
[And there will be so many more of us now who will be laid off, unemployed, reduced hours, reduced benefits, dropped from employer health-care plans. . . . Why, just THINK of all that President Obama can do for us now!]
Perhaps The Best Post I've Seen on DU. . . .
The best post I've ever read on DU. . . .
[Certainly the most creative.]
AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!
[PRAISE GAIA! PRAISE GAIA! PRAISE GAIA!]
Only one thing to add . . . It is to say this . . . We will no longer tolerate, excuse or let you get away with the disrespect you have shown OUR PRESIDENT AND HIS FAMILY for the past four years! You will be called out . . . Challenged . . . Confronted from this day FORWARD!!!
[Thrown into the Reeducation Center for reprogramming! To HELL with the First Amendment! No, enough of that! The future must not belong to those who slander the President of Prog Land! FORWARD!!!]
WE ARE AMERICA!!!!
[AND YOU'RE NOT!!!!]
Beautifully, gently written. . . .
[It's a kinder, gentler DUmmieland now.]
We liberals are not hostile to religion. . . .
[As long as they keep quiet and don't try to live out their faith.]
The minute you pass a law based on your religious beliefs, chances are you have just trampled on my beliefs--or non-beliefs.
[OK, then. I hereby withdraw my support for laws against murder, robbery, rape, lying in court, etc., since those all coincide with my religious beliefs. And I will withdraw my support for laws against shooting abortion providers, since I don't want to impose my beliefs on others.]
This deserves to go viral.
[Like a Sandra Fluke STD!]
[Congratulations! See you at the unemployment line!]
it's a great day here, there, and everywhere.
[The sun is shining. Homosexuals are getting married. Rich white people are being punished. Gaia is in her. . . well, Gaia is in everything, I guess. All is right in the New Left World.]
As much as I was (admittedly) tempted to post something to the effect of MOAR TEARS!!! I found myself feeling some genuine sympathy for them. . . .
[Jeepers, freepers, where'd you get those weepers? Jeepers, freepers, why'd you trust those lies?]
conservative lurkers, well, what can I say; it's the way the cookie crumbles. C'est la vie.
[It's the way the economy crumbles. C'est la falaise fiscale.]
I have no sympathy. . . . so f*** them. . . . I have no sympathy and i want no understanding. These cretins, these f***ing traitorous scumbags can all line up to sniff my @ss. I don't want to play nice. . . . F*** THEM. To all lurking conservatives? I hope your f***ing face rots off.
[Ah, the real DUmmieland returns! I thought I was in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood there for a while. Situation Normal, All F-worded Up! DUmmie Scootaloo, you are truly a DUmmie in whom there is no guile! And so you win today's PLTA® Award! Congratulations!]
Helloooo.... freepers, trolls, cave dwelllers? Got anything to say about this?
[Yes. It looks like more of the status quo for a while. Tuesday we kicked the can down the road for a couple years. The House remained the same. The Senate remained the same. The incumbent president, the bloom off his rose, won in a squeaker. A few hundred thousand votes in a few key states, and we'd all be singing a different song. Ho hum. We live to fight another day--2014, to be specific. (I'm looking at YOU, Democrat senators up for re-election!) And so, likewise, Kamp Kumbaya proved to be just a fleeting, ephemeral fancy--a mythical Brigadoon that appears for a day and then is no more. Haters gonna hate. DUmmies gonna be DUmmies. The DUmp abides. And so does the DUmmie FUnnies!]
Li'l Beaver sez: "I'm still here! You can't get rid of me THAT easily!"
The libs from Obama on down are EXTREMELY busy right now trying to get the Republicans to “cooperate” and “join with us” so when the SHTF they don’t get all the blame.
Sadly, some are only too eager to join.
I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve passed through the grief cycle in record time and now I’m just pissed off. I’m not going to give an inch with any idiOts I encounter. Screw ‘em, they own it and I still know conservatism is the only way.
I have been saying this to everyone. Do NOT block anything the Dems propose! say “YES” to everything.
And most importantly, cry it from every rooftop that we have seen the error of our ways and will not block a SINGLE thing. We will surrender complete control to the liberals.
Oh how happy they will be..until they realize we gave them enough rope to hang themselves with. And we will say “Keep going, Dems! Show us how it’s done! Go! Go! Go!”
And when (not if) it comes crashing down, we can truly say “We told you so!” and they will have no way to place any blame on us for it.
Well, lib dudes, I don’t wanna be your friend! So stuff it! :)
Already figured out how to join my dead relatives...
Slumming at the DUmp again, I see.
Read this and let me know what you think...
Time to not just Go Galt, But beyond Galt...
Give them some school of hard knock experience WHY their idealogy is broken.
I’m tempted to concur — to have the GOP “vote ‘Present’” on every Democrat proposal. (Also to put forward their own proposals, only to be voted down every time of course, but just to make the record.) I might not vote YES though, just because I want history to be clear that these were “Democrat,” not “bipartisan,” disasters.
Im tempted to concur to have the GOP vote Present on every Democrat proposal. (Also to put forward their own proposals, only to be voted down every time of course, but just to make the record.) I might not vote YES though, just because I want history to be clear that these were Democrat, not bipartisan, disasters.
Yes, I like this idea!
Maybe we should start calling our congress critters and tell them that they need to start voting present and let everything go to ruin under Obama with a Republican party just sitting there watching and cheering on the dims...
The dim base is made of leeches, the leeches will always suffer more during ANY collapse as long as the 2nd amendment is in place to prevent totalitarians to take control.
They will starve cause they use their EBT to buy Doritoes, we will survive as we use out 2nd amendment to protect the cases of beans the conveinient EBT card helped us buy so we could afford to use our other money to protect it with.
A serious and sympathetic post for any lurking liberals here. I have no sympathy. . . . so f*** them. . . . I have no sympathy and i want no understanding. These cretins, these f***ing traitorous scumbags can all line up to sniff my @ss. I don't want to play nice. . . . F*** THEM. To all lurking liberals? I hope your f***ing faces rots off.
How do you like that you DUmmies.
We are the world, we are the children
We are the ones who make a brighter day
So lets start giving [more]
There's a choice we've made here
We're running all your lives
Its true we'll make a better day
For you and me...
Now which party promises heaven on earth to its constituents by taking the ill-gotten gains of those NASTY, AWFUL, GREEDY, EVIL RICH PEOPLE (ptooey), and who expects you to work for a living and quit being envious of people with a dollar more than you do? The former would be the Democrat Party and the latter the Republicans.
Which party has members who regularly defecate on the virtues of patriotism, morality, the military, free-enterprise, and the proper role of the constitution? It ain't the party with an elephant for a symbol. It's the one with the jackass for its symbol. Resembling a large percentage of its members.
I will respect your pres_ _ent the same way you respected GW Bush for his eight year term. You libs will rot in hell before I ever respect the POS you elected. Just think, 0 bummer inherited a worse economy this year than he did in 2009. It's all his fault now, not Bush's fault.
There are MASSIVE layoffs and flat-out firings underway — and there will be even more as Jan 1 approaches.
I hope EVERY SINGLE PERSON who loses his/her job boted for obozo and suffers as a result.
Yeah, they can live on the dole, but anyone who had even close to a middle-class lifestyle will find that subsistence-level living is only for those raised to learn how to do it ($200 tennis shoes and haircuts, $500 purses, but 40 oz. beer, Mickey-Ds every day, $400 car with $2000 rims, rent forever, no such thing as “retirement” except on the dole).
The fact obamacare will add a tax to the little they make on their 28 hours a week menial jobs (or no job at all) is the icing on the cake.
I hope they find their lives a living hell.
Elections have consequences. It is time the supporters of socialism feel them.
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, riding through the land
Dennis Moore, Dennis Moore, with his merry band
He robs from the poor and gives to the rich
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