Posted on 11/02/2012 11:44:36 PM PDT by proud American in Canada
Hi all,
I hesitated for a long time to post this--particularly because our keyboard is so sticky it is difficult to write and post. I was just hoping for some advice. If I posted in the wrong place, I hope the mods will move it.
Julie
There’s a book called Feeling Good by David Burns that I highly recommend. It’s been around awhile and should be available at libraries everywhere.
Re the depression: PLEASE see a physician. Depression is a genuine medical condition, and they can help. Untreated, it can kill.
Think of what you’d say to your adult child if they were going through what’s happening to you. Then say those same things to yourself.
Last year a friend of 25 years killed himself over his job loss. Don't let depression take over, trust the Lord.
I’ve been where you are, and there are no easy answers. I won’t suggest anything spiritual because that’s a personal thing. One thing that has helped me in the past, and still helps is to find good things to focus on, happy things.
Sometimes I jump on Facebook and enjoy cute baby pics, or cute puppy pics, or whatever, and it does help. I also enjoy seeing my old high school friends pics, and their families. My life isn’t “happy” and may not ever be again, and I’m fine with that. I’ll just do my best, every day I can, and I’ll try to make others happy, and that’s enough, at least for me.
Depression is no game, and it’s not fun, but it doesn’t have to destroy your life. Talk to your hubby, talk to a trusted friend or Pastor, and go from there. You are educated, which helps, you have a family, and those are blessings.
Take little steps and eventually you’ll find yourself in a better place.
I’ll pray for you...
Kevin
I still remember what my dear Mother told me as a child, “There is always someone better off than you and there is always someone worse off than you”.
It is human nature to focus on the negatives in our lives while taking for granted the positives. You have Family, many people are alone. You have a home, many people are homeless. You have an education, many people are ignorant (Obama supporters for example). You have a love of writing, many people have no imagination or skill in expressing their thoughts on paper.
I could go on, but you are looking for answers. I am Married, my Wife deals with Depression, which means I deal with her Depression as well. From my experience, I would suggest that you deal with that situation sooner than later. You stated that you are on some Medications. It may be time to get reevaluated to see if the Medications are still effective.
My Wife has done that and has shown some improvement. As we get older, our Metabolism changes and Drugs that helped at one time become ineffective. It happened with my Blood Pressure Meds, and it happened with my Wife's Drug Therapy.
As far as the Financial situation, step away and look at your household Budget as if you were helping someone else with their situation. You have to be objective, looking at what is necessary versus what is a choice. When all else fails, listen to Dave Ramsey.
Well, that's all I can think of right now. Just something to chew on. I have been dealing with Leukemia for the past seven years and I am halfway to what my Oncologist suggested would be my expected demise.
I have two choices, I can wake up every day and be upset and depressed, Xing out the days on the Calendar in my countdown to doom, or I can wake up every day and think how lucky I am to be able to see, hear, smell, taste, feel and interact with others.
In fact, I am lucky because you decided to Post something on Free Republic and I have a chance to respond and share some of my experiences that may, or may not, lift your spirits. You are lucky because you just shared your situation with people you will probably never meet in person but who care enough about you to reply. You are never alone when you're a FReeper. We are Family, whether we agree or not. I'm not a Religious person, but rest assured you are in my Prayers.
As they say, this too will pass. The worst that could happen is never the worst that can happen. Your Blessings outweigh your problems, you just have to open your eyes wide enough to see it. God Bless you and your Family.
Remember ? when they try to hit us when we are at our weakest or where we are at our weakest point ? that’s when and where we are strongest.
The world is changing and many of us are in the same boat you are. That doesn’t help your situation, but it does help with the depression and guilt.You just have to keep on keeping on until the situation slowly changes, just get over the guilt.
Regarding lack of energy, cut out all bread and pasta. Helped for me and my family.
Julie, are you getting enough sunlight? I don’t want to over-simply things, but experience has led me to believe access to sunlight is a genuine factor relating to despondence.
You’re up north. When I lived in cloudy Vermont, a mere silver lining was enough to lift my spirit. During a two-year period when I worked at night, I was mildly depressed and it seemed like goblins were hanging from the street lamps. Thus, I bought a full-spectrum light which, honestly, seemed to help. Well worth the money.
These days, I work at home and inside, so access to sunlight is still an issue. I take 2,000 units of vitamin D each day. Please consider these three ideas, because we want you feeling good. Naturally there’s more to life then this, but it’s a start.
Couple of more thoughts: I enjoyed “The Secret” DVD. And it’s good to work to accomplish things, even small things. God bless you.
I checked one last time, but can’t respond now because of the keyboard—and I have photos to take tomorrow a.m. Thank you all for your advice and caring! I’ll never forget it. :) J.
Find the energy and motivation to begin making some changes. One step at a time so you don't feel overwhelmed. Cut expenses aggressively, sell things you no longer need or can no longer afford. That's one area.
The other area is yourself. Break your routine, get out in the world, get some sun, the light helps. Exercise helps, even though that's the last thing you probably feel like doing right now. It will increase your energy level and help your mood, just find a way to get over the hump of being tired and sleeping so much. Yes, you sound depressed. Receding into it will only make it worse. Writing this vanity on FR is a first step. You recognize it and have done something about it, however minor.
Look for additional opportunities to write, maybe online. If you're able you can set up a blog, vent your frustrations and write about politics, your life challenges, your nephew's cancer, and if you are able to do so compellingly enough to attract a following, you can make money on your own via Google AdSense, which places ads on your blog and pays you on the basis of clickthrough.
Lastly, I do not know your religious orientation but sincere, humble prayer and lifting your burden up to God will bring you some peace and clarity. Remember to be thankful for what you do have, focus upon that and recognize the source of it in gratitude. Ask that He intervene and lead you to a means of helping support your family, nothing fancy, just sufficient to your needs. Stick with it. Be open to answers that may not exactly be what you were expecting.
You'll get through this. It'll be OK.
Next, cut back on your living expenses.
You will find another job.
If your depression doesn't lift soon, see a doctor. It's not a disgrace to be depressed- and it can be treated.
Good luck to you
When this year started I was depressed because of financial, legal and health problems. However, in the thick of it I never felt as close to God as I did then. That may sound counter intuitive but I literally felt every step I took was on a path set by our Heavenly Father.
Looking back, I see I was divinely driven with the attitude that when the going gets tough the tough get going. I got legal/medical help and financial opportunity was found and even has wild growth potential. I have faith that as long as I keep moving along my God given path things will at least now remain stable. I remarked just yesterday what a difference a year makes!
Start your year right now. Put faith in God, in that way remain positive and walk his path to a better life.
You may think this is a simple answer, but try it it works.....privately speak to the Lord.....
Bring your troubles to Him, and leave them with Him and go about your life doing what you can....
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