Posted on 08/04/2012 1:49:34 PM PDT by grundle
Lots of YouTube videos claim to be the best way to handle a telemarketer but this one really does deserve that label. This is, by far, the best one that I have ever seen:
Heres the best method for handling a telemarketer
(Excerpt) Read more at danfromsquirrelhill.wordpress.com ...
If it's window sales....My hubby has been in windows for 30 years.
Etc, etc, etc..........
I have always suspected that most telemarketers were people trying to make a living. I tend to avoid the phone if I don’t recognize the phone number.
Wow, who knew? On second thought, that's what burglars do as well!
Hilarious.
How is it that you claim to be the author of other folk’s videos?
Isn’t that something a stinking blogpimp would do?
Hell, even the links you so thoughtfully provided access the videos
through your blog, getting you a hit every time someone clicks it.
What exactly is your game, mister?
And since they haven't been successful enough for us to want to call them they are calling us. How special! ;-)
I no longer have a problem with them since getting rid of my land line but a few years ago I did.
As soon as they called Id tell them I wasnt interested, if they persisted Id keep them on the line as long as possible. For a telemarketer time is money.
What? No Seinfeld?
That’s even better than my sister-in-law’s approached. When they’d ask, “How are you today?” she’d tell them she had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer. End of call.
Here is the best way:
You: “I’m sorry, my husband (wife) makes these decisions. Hang on and I’ll get him (her).
TM: Okay
You: [Screaming] OSCAR ! OSCAR ! TELEPHONE!
You: Set the recever on the table and walk away, go about your business.

Imagine what the forum would look like if every FReeper that has a blog posted it here.
Funny (not), this was posted in another thread yesterday (thread starter ‘fabian’) and here it is recycled! How about that!
My way works better. I have Caller ID, and I don’t answer the phone unless it’s someone I want to speak to. I also block calls from nuisance callers.
Seinfeld... that was a great scene. But so was my answer to one of these guys who wanted to spend ten minutes of my time in the middle of dinner to take a “survey” about the products my family uses. “Oh I’m sorry. We don’t use any products”. Click.
“Are you the man of the house”
“yes”
(hang up)
isn’t falsely representing yourself as a law enforcement officer a crime? (maybe felony?)
Laugh-out-loud funny!
I always keep the salesdroid on the phone, asking questions and exploring options. . . and after 15-20 minutes of their time has been utterly wasted, I tell them that I just want to ask one more question to make sure their particular plastic fantastic meets all my needs.
Then I ask them. . .does it come with pickles ?? And they always come back with something along the line of “Sir, pickles have nothing to do with (insert product here). There are no pickles. . . “
To which I reply: “Well, if there are no pickles, I’m not interested. . . “. . . and hang up. . .
I doubt you would have the integrity to say the same thing face-to-face to a neighbor of mine. She is single (her husband died of cancer), and raising two grade school-age children. She checks eight hours at a grocery story, then goes home to her children. Fixes them dinner, then takes them to her mother’s so she can go spend another four hours evenings working a telemarketing shift. One her days off from the grocery store, she works eight-to-ten hours in the telemarketing room, depending on how much baby-sitting she can arrange with her family. Holier-than-thou folks sort of me me sick
I let them talk to my 5 yr old grandson. ;)
Mine is the best: “You can talk to the owner after we get that $50. You can do a credit card or paypal. Which will it be? Or just simply: Please give me your credit card number.
Years ago, where I worked, most calls were automatically routed to me.
One day I got a call wanting to sell me siding. I explained this was a company and we didn’t need siding. Then she tried to sell me siding for my own house. I already had siding and and didn’t need any.
A few seconds later another call for the same.
Then another, then another, then another. Then the Supervisor’s phone began ringing for the same reason. then another , and another, and another. Even unlisted numbers were coming in. It was 30 minutes of uninterrupted calls coming in. I was bout ready to curse out the next caller but I didn’t. It was the plant manger and he was bombarded with calls on his private company phone.
Meanwhile I’m still getting calls for the same.
Finally they ceased. We figured out that there was a “boiler room” somewhere full of people and they were calling all numbers in the telephone book and numbers inbetween ours and others.
Finally they passed us and went on to torment others.
I ask them for their name and and credit card info. When they ask why I tell them my time is valuable and I have to have something to charge it to. That usually ends the call.
I claim authorship of my own comments, not of the video.
Anyone who calls you and tells you that you won a free satellite dish is not trying to earn an honest living - they are a con artist.
I know the Seinfeld one.
Maybe it is a crime - but so is calling someone who’s on the do-not call list.
My friend holds the record for tying up telemarketers. No this wasn’t some honest next door neighbor, this was someone who was trying to bilk older people for vitamins.
He got all the info they had and would start to give them a credit card number.... then, halfway through, he would remember another question. Sometimes it would require a supervisor to answer, sometimes he would change the order amount. He kept them going for 3 hours while he watched a football game. They finally hung up on him.
“I doubt you would have the integrity to say the same thing face-to-face to a neighbor of mine.”
I hang up on telemarketers. I also have NO sympathy for anyone who enters my home without an invitation, which is what telemarketers do. I’m on the do not call list (https://www.donotcall.gov/default.aspx), so they are entering my home in violation of a public notice not to do so.
I got a call one time informing me that I had won a boat. I immediately responded, "Oh, what color is it?" The caller was overwhelmed by my interest in my new boat.
Oh, so you're not "Dan from Squirrel Hill"?
Because if you cast your eye up at the header of the thread,
you list good ol' Dan as the author of the content. How about that?
And if you claim you aren't good ol' Dan, I reckon he owes you
big time for pimping his blog crap here pretty much exclusively.
Got thoughts on that, bud?
I’ve heard it before but it’s still funny even after the 4th time.
I doubt that your saintly suffering widowed neighbour (sob! sob!) would have the nerve to attempt to sell me face-to-face the useless garbage she sells over the phone.
I myself have sometimes given out the first 12 digits of a non-existent credit card. I always say the numbers v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y. When they ask for the last 4 digits, I say, “Yes, that’s it.” Then when they repeat their statement there are still 4 more digits, I start all over from the beginning, with the same fake 12 digits - never getting to the end of the total 16 digit sequence - which was fake all along anyway.
Please find an activity that brings you joy instead of frustration.
I hang up the phone!
I also have NO sympathy for anyone who enters my home without an invitation, which is what telemarketers do.No matter how nice or hard-working the woman in your story is, righttackle44, that's NOT why people have telephones, so they can be interrupted in the middle of their evening with a one-on-one sales pitch.
The "nice" woman could justify selling crack, too, I suppose, but fair is fair and telemarketing calls are just plain unfair.
To me, the real villains in this story are those unseen people who actually respond to one of these calls and buy something. They keep the whole enterprise going with their thoughtless stupidity.
As for my own personal story about about one of these calls, the other night I got a call that started out saying, "I want to tell you right off, this is NOT a sales call."
"Thank you for sharing that," I said. And hung up.
humblegunner is right.
This is blog pimping, even though I happened to enjoy this one.
Doesn’t change the fact, humblegunner is right.
"Oh listen... Can you hold on just a sec? I'll be right back." Then put the phone down and hang it up later.
I had one years ago who wanted to “axe” me. I axed to speak to her supervisor and threatened to call the authorities.

Phone: "Hi. Would you be interested in switching over to TMI Long Distance service?"
Seinfeld: "Oh, gee, I can't talk right now. Why don't you give me your home number and I'll call you later."
Phone: "Uh, sorry, we're not allowed to do that."
Seinfeld: "Oh, I guess you don't want people calling you at home."
Phone: "No."
Seinfeld: "Well, now you know how I feel."
Set the recever on the table and walk away, go about your business.
***That is a very poor idea. They can prove they were on the phone with you for a long time. They charge you for some service, give you the runaround, etc.
One thing I do is preach the gospel of Christ to them. They invariably ask, “what does this have to do with AluminumSiding/Insurance/AirFilters/whatever”? I say, “Well, obviously, that’s important to you. But probably not important to me. Your eternal soul is important to you, me, and God, so it’s more important than ___fillintheblank___. “ It often works, and my time is not wasted.
For those telemarketers who claim to be christian already, I offer to pray with them right there that God will give them a better job than telemarketing. They appreciate it.
I hope it works for them too.
A burglar can take advantage of you without your permission. I'd love to meet the telemarketer that talented.
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