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The economy is so bad....
disaboom ^ | 3/22/11 | Nachum

Posted on 03/22/2011 3:40:50 PM PDT by Nachum

The economy is so bad that African television stations are showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

The economy is so bad, a picture is now only worth 200 words.

It's so bad, Snoop Dogg had to start eating regular brownies.

The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.

The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, "This is a robbery!"

The economy is so bad, George W. Bush appeared in a flight suit and declared economic recovery was complete.

The economy is so bad, Bill Gates had to switch to dial up.

The economy is so bad, Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

The economy is so bad, Dr. Seuss rose from the grave to write a new book: Green Eggs and Spam.

The economy is so bad that I went to my bank to get a loan, they said, "What a coincidence! That's just what we were going to ask you!"

The economy is so bad, rapper 50 Cent had to change his name to 10 Cent.

The economy is so bad, Barack Obama changed his slogan to "Maybe We Can!"

The economy is so bad, my ATM gave me an IOU!

The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.

The economy is so bad I saw a man in Costco buying one roll of toilet paper.

The economy is so bad that I saw a van full of legal immigrants illegally crossing the border to Mexico.

The economy is so bad, I became a Pastafarian hoping that a meatball will appear to me.

The economy is so bad that parents in Bevery Hills are considering raising their own children.

The economy is so bad that even people who aren't in Barack Obama's cabinet aren't paying taxes.

The economy is so bad I saw a polygamist with only one wife.

The economy is so bad that I saw someone using the sun to get a tan!

The economy is so bad that wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

The economy is so bad, I saw four CEOs playing miniature golf.

The economy is so bad, Hot Wheels stock is trading higher than GM.

The economy is so bad, Obama met with three small businesses to discuss his Stimulus Plan: GM, Pfizer, and Citigroup.

It's so bad, McDonalds is introducing the 1/4-Ouncer.

The economy's so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

The economy is so bad, mothers in Ethiopia are telling their children, "Finish your meal! Don't you know there are starving children in the US?"

The economy is so bad, that a prostitute asked me if she could borrow $20 until she can get back on her back.

It's so bad, a stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

The economy is so bad, that Martha Stewart did a show on creative uses for food stamps.

The economy is so bad, Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

The economy is so bad, my sister had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

The economy is so bad, that I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with purchase was a bank.

It's so bad, I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

The economy is so bad, hobos in Beverly Hills now have to drink tap water.

The economy is so bad, Barack Obama unveiled his plan to close Guantanamo Bay for good: He's turning it into a bank!

The economy is so bad, that the White House turkey turned down his Thanksgiving pardon-- all his wealth was in stocks, and he has nothing to live for.

The economy is so bad, Sarah Palin is only shooting moose for food, not for fun.

It's so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

The economy is so bad, my niece told me she wants to dress up as a 401-K for Halloween so that she can turn invisible.

The economy is so bad, that instead of a coin toss at the beginning of the Super Bowl, they played "Rock, Paper, Scissors."

The economy is so bad that Roy's tigers are now eating him out of necessity.

The economy is so bad, the Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

It's so bad, they built an Indian reservation on a casino.

The economy is so bad, people are standing behind George Bush wherever he goes hoping for free shoes.

The economy is so bad, Michael Phelps has to share a bong.

The economy is so bad that when Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The economy is so bad, a certain celebutante changed her name to "Paris Holiday Inn."

The economy is so bad, Malia and Sasha Obama started a lemonade stand to raise money for bailouts.

It's so bad, the Lone Ranger sold his silver bullets on Ebay.

The economy is so bad that 7 of 10 houses on Sesame Street are in foreclosure.

The economy is so bad that the only company hiring this week is the one that sends people to scrape bankers off the sidewalk on Wall Street.

It's so bad, they renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

The economy is so bad, Angelina had to adopt a highway.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bad; banksters; economy; globalism; palin; recession; rino; so
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The recession is so bad... that a bird in the hand is only worth one in the bush
1 posted on 03/22/2011 3:40:54 PM PDT by Nachum
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To: Nachum

If we had some ham we could have ham and eggs if we had some eggs.


2 posted on 03/22/2011 3:44:15 PM PDT by gorush (History repeats itself because human nature is static)
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To: Nachum

Haitians are paddling back to Haiti.


3 posted on 03/22/2011 3:44:51 PM PDT by screaminsunshine (34 States)
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To: Nachum
The economy is so bad, I get even less than no respect!


4 posted on 03/22/2011 3:44:55 PM PDT by NWFLConservative
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To: Nachum

Interesting timing..I got a quote from a house painter today. He told me that he had just been though the slowest three month period in the last 36 years. He’s a master painter with a great reputaion. He said he once had a crew of 7. Now it’s just him. He got my job. I hope it helps.


5 posted on 03/22/2011 3:46:29 PM PDT by ExtremeUnction
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To: Nachum

And my dairy has a picture of Obamao on the milk carton.


6 posted on 03/22/2011 3:47:55 PM PDT by Carley (WISCONSIN STREET NO DIFFERENT THAN THE ARAB STREET. UGLY AND VIOLENT)
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To: Nachum

It’s Bad, You Know
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QzC_rGX-XyM


7 posted on 03/22/2011 3:48:26 PM PDT by familyop ("Dry land is not just our destination, it is our destiny!" --"Deacon," "Waterworld")
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To: Nachum

It’s so bad that NFL players are out of work? Does not make sense.


8 posted on 03/22/2011 3:49:34 PM PDT by cicero2k
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To: ExtremeUnction

Remnnds me of this story...

A house painter was watering down his paints with water to save money. After completing a watered down paint job, a huge rain storm appeared and washed away all the painter’s work.

A booming voice from the heavens announced...

“REPAINT REPAINT AND SIN NO MORE!”


9 posted on 03/22/2011 3:49:47 PM PDT by Nachum (The complete Obama list at www.nachumlist.com)
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To: Nachum
The economy's so bad, Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

Isn't that the truth!

10 posted on 03/22/2011 3:51:18 PM PDT by BerryDingle (I know how to deal with communists, I still wear their scars on my back from Hollywood-Ronald Reagan)
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To: Carley

Too bad it’s not because he REALLY IS missing......oh wait, he is. Even when he’s NOT on vacation.


11 posted on 03/22/2011 3:52:22 PM PDT by NWFLConservative
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To: Nachum

The economy is so bad, Barack Hussein Obama declared Summer recovery, a year and half ago.


12 posted on 03/22/2011 3:55:04 PM PDT by Freddd (NoPA ngineers.)
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To: Nachum

...so bad i yesterday i seen a PI%P DRIVIN A VOLKSWAGON...


13 posted on 03/22/2011 3:58:24 PM PDT by flat
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To: screaminsunshine
"Haitians are paddling back to Haiti."

They will be back in time for the 2012 election or the Democrats are slipping.

14 posted on 03/22/2011 4:08:41 PM PDT by wmileo
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To: BerryDingle
"Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. "

The CHI-COMS will hire them next just to protect their investment.

15 posted on 03/22/2011 4:10:46 PM PDT by wmileo
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To: BerryDingle
"Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. "

The CHI-COMS will hire them next just to protect their investment.

16 posted on 03/22/2011 4:10:58 PM PDT by wmileo
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To: Nachum

Com’on, half the people are still above the median income.


17 posted on 03/22/2011 4:13:40 PM PDT by Tijeras_Slim
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To: Nachum

bttt


18 posted on 03/22/2011 4:30:05 PM PDT by petercooper (Purge the RINO's.)
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To: Nachum

The economy is so bad, I’m so broke I can’t even pay attention!


19 posted on 03/22/2011 4:56:34 PM PDT by dajeeps
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Too bad none of the FReepers here with a below median IQ will get that joke...


20 posted on 03/22/2011 4:57:36 PM PDT by PhilosopherStone1000
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