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Stand-up Comedy Greats: Steven Wright Debuts on The Tonight Show - 1982
Reaganite Republican ^
| February 16, 2011
| Reaganite Republican
Posted on 02/16/2011 12:39:54 PM PST by Reaganite Republican
click here to read article
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To: Reaganite Republican
“I’m not a vegetarian cause I love animals. It’s just that I hate plants”
Steven Wright
2
posted on
02/16/2011 12:49:38 PM PST
by
sappy
(criminallibs)
To: Reaganite Republican
I like my dental hygenist so much, I ate a box of Oreo cookies before my appointment.
3
posted on
02/16/2011 12:52:01 PM PST
by
stevecmd
To: Reaganite Republican
It doesn’t matter what temperature the room is, it’s always room temperature.
4
posted on
02/16/2011 12:55:08 PM PST
by
wilco200
(11/4/08 - The Day America Jumped the Shark)
To: Reaganite Republican
As a kid, we had a quicksand box. I was an only child....eventually.
5
posted on
02/16/2011 12:59:49 PM PST
by
newfreep
(Palin/West 2012 - Bolton: Secy of State)
To: Reaganite Republican
He had one where he said he had a light switch in his house that did nothing. He flipped it on and off during the day, until one day a lady called him from Germany telling him to cut it out.
For some reason I love that one. Very surreal.
BTW, is the HBO special the one where he pulled a box of dehydrated water out of the cupboard?
To: Reaganite Republican
King of the surreal one liners. OK there probably isn’t much competition in that market, but if there was he’d still be king.
7
posted on
02/16/2011 1:01:01 PM PST
by
discostu
(this is definitely not my confused face)
To: Reaganite Republican
Someone stole all the furniture in my house, and replaced it with exact replicas.
8
posted on
02/16/2011 1:01:31 PM PST
by
Jack of all Trades
(Stop the change - I want to get off!)
To: Jack of all Trades
I have a map of the United States...actual size.
9
posted on
02/16/2011 1:06:43 PM PST
by
Dansong
To: Reaganite Republican
The sign said “eight items or less”. So I changed my name to Les.
— Steven Wright
10
posted on
02/16/2011 1:07:41 PM PST
by
albie
To: Reaganite Republican
Didn’t he invent the cordless extension cord?
11
posted on
02/16/2011 1:08:25 PM PST
by
TexasPatriot1
(I am unique, Just like everybody else.)
To: Reaganite Republican
To: Snickering Hound
Guilty as charged, yer honor
lol
To: sappy
To: Reaganite Republican
I put instant coffee in the microwave - I went back in time.
15
posted on
02/16/2011 1:14:27 PM PST
by
fhayek
To: Reaganite Republican
I used to get him and the lead singer from the Scorpions mixed up.
16
posted on
02/16/2011 1:18:09 PM PST
by
autumnraine
(America how long will you be so deaf and dumb to the chariot wheels carrying you to the guillotine?)
To: Reaganite Republican
“I broke both of my legs and they took me to a walk-in clinic”
17
posted on
02/16/2011 1:21:47 PM PST
by
muir_redwoods
(Obama. Chauncey Gardiner without the homburg.)
To: Snickering Hound
Not exactly blog pimping when the whole article is posted.
just sayin'
18
posted on
02/16/2011 1:31:35 PM PST
by
tx_eggman
(Liberalism is only possible in that moment when a man chooses Barabas over Christ.)
To: Reaganite Republican
"My girlfriend's pretty. No, she's kind-of pretty. No, she just looks pretty."
--from The Appointments of Dennis Jennings
19
posted on
02/16/2011 1:37:01 PM PST
by
kerosene
To: sappy
THAT really might be my fave- and that’s saying something lol
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