Posted on 09/30/2010 10:23:34 AM PDT by toma29
1. My Neighborhood Watch program has a built-in Marxist detection system that plays the Soviet Union National Anthem when one comes within one block.
2. My dog only allows his own sh@t in his yard.
3. When he found out I'm not afraid of doing the same job an illegal will do, e.g., pick my own pears from my pear tree, it scared him.
4. He didn't particularly like the freedom my backyard offers my kids.
5. I told him no teleprompters would be allowed and he ran away with his tail between his legs crying, "No fair!".
Check out these other Useful Info Nation pages:
(Excerpt) Read more at blog.usefulinfonation.com ...
Very funny!!!!!! :)
You are too clever for me...I couldn’t top you...thanks for the giggle!
If Imam Obama came onto my backyard, he would be treated with the same respect that I would give any democrat.
My Geese would corner him and my GSD would tear him to shreds.
Then, I would laugh......... and go have a bowl of ice cream, perhaps chocolate with a touch of white marbling.
...Because anyone or anything that climbs over our 10 foot game fence is fair game.
There is no season on exotics.
1. I taught my cocker spaniel to “aim and snap” using the midsection of an 0bama life-size cutout.
2. I told the neighborhood kids they could cut a hole in the TOTUS and use it for bean-bag throws.
3. There’s not enough grazing grass for Michelle.
4. I asked the next-door neighbor to hide in the bushes and play his banjo.
5. I sprayed the perimeter of my yard with pork-scented “Muslim-B-Gone.”
Hilarious! Can you point me to the place where you buy your Muslim-B-Gone?
Ha ha ha - pretty good. I’ll add:
1. My American flag would repel him like garlic to a vampire.
2. His head wouldn’t fit through my three-foot wide gate.
3. My sense of fashion decency would force me to turn Michelle away.
4. I don’t allow communists in my yard, and
5. I don’t allow communist douchebags in my yard.
Will have to pass this on to a friend of mine. Obama was in her neighborhood last week doing one of these things. The topic was health care reform.
Her joke was that in her neighborhood, she would have thought the topic was immigration.
Will have to pass this on to a friend of mine. Obama was in her neighborhood last week doing one of these things. The topic was health care reform.
Her joke was that in her neighborhood, she would have thought the topic was immigration.
Local gun/ammo shop!!!
Well done!!
Right next to the Terrorist Hunting Permit window stickers.
There’s a spot for it at my local gun dealer, but it’s been sold out since November 2008.
Ah, I only have one reason but its a big one. my backyard is real nice and stuff so we would set his podium right at the edge of the lake so the cameras could take in the view right behind obama...it would look so pretty on television..then we’d all sit down, quiet like, to listen to his carryings on about the economy & stuff like that...and eventally that big ole gater would pop up and before anyone could do a thing Obama would be a rolling around and around with that gator and the secret service would be jumping up an down not wanting to shoot in case they missed the gator and hit obama. In all the excitment and the hollaring and yelling, Obama disappears, just like that and all that’s left is his microphone bobbing on the surface.
I don’t know how that gator could stomach him. Better have plenty of Pepto available to stifle any urge to vomit.
I think they would hold fire so taht they did not hit the gator. Would they really care about O?
1. The nearest airport capable of handling not one but the two Air Force Ones and Air Force 2 (decoy plane)is Chicago, Illinois.
2. all the roads leading from Chicago to the UP of Michigan are under construction thanks to the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act and the millions of dollars spent on the signs. (Why didn’t the US government just have a brochure made up instead of massive signs).
3. there has been to much rain in the UP of Michigan, so the landscaping project has to dry out.
4. the republicans, democrats and socialist in my neighborhood would have a fit, there is a black man in the neighborhood. The only black people in the area are the ones that visit the Iron County Michigan State Correctional Facility.
5. the bear and deer would have to much competition for the pile of excrement that would have been delivered.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.