Third world pillaging will destroy the Earth's magnetic field

Collective Wishes ^ | 9/28/09 | Candle

[mudblood]

There is a growing body of evidence now to support the theory that Western enviro-pillaging is leading to the flip-flop of the Earth's magnetic field. The acclaimed Indian science journal Jonwar Chodu recently published a controversial piece denouncing the Western World's mining of metal in 3rd world countries. But not for the normal reasons of hegemonic multinational imperialism - itself a good reason to stop all this horrible mining... No, this time it was for a reason far worse. You see, when you take metals from one part of the world, depleting them from whole regions almost entirely, and then you transport these metals to OTHER parts of the world, what you are doing is basically causing the magnetic field of the Earth to be altered. This, in time, could result in a catastrophic flipping of the Earth's magnetic field. The results of such an occurrence cannot be understated: satellites falling out of the sky into peaceful communities, tumors spontaneously appearing among humans and animals in record numbers, tidal waves, tsunamis, earthquakes... The list goes on and on. According to Jonwar Chodu, the only way to rectify this is to move masses of metals BACK to the third world. Now, because it makes no sense to ship back metals like steel and aluminum, due to the sheer quantities needed, they recommend the only solution possible: shipping over precious metals. You see, one ounce of gold is magnetically equivalent to like 10 pounds of iron. This disparity, it is hoped, will put the Earth's magnetic field back on safe footing, to the betterment of all. But we need to start NOW!

[mudblood]

/sarcasm

[Eric in the Ozarks]

Bad juju.

[cripplecreek]

Its a little hard to tell what’s satire these days.

[oldvike]

Horsehockey! The magnetic field comes from the giant spinning sphere of molten iron that is at the center of the Earth. More BS from America-haters.

[mazda77]

So what do we do about the people with magnetic personalities? Good Grief!

[Pistolshot]

You see, one ounce of gold is magnetically equivalent to like 10 pounds of iron.

I see what you want there.

[Cacique]

???????

[IbJensen]

Oh, no. Oh, woe.

We are so busy with gorebal warming we didn't think about this yet.

Where's Al when he's needed? Oh, I know. He's over in Finland with the $529,000,000 the central government gave him to build his $89,000 eco-car.

Dear Father in Heaven:

Please deliver this nation and these people from an oppressive, socialistic,evil government that would tax them to death in order that the Man-Bear-Pig and communism might prosper. May the Fed be audited and destroyed forever and may Obama fail in his satan-given mission to destroy this land.

Amen

[F.J. Mitchell]

I could donate my Golden Retriever...oops, don’t have one of those. Wonder if my 14 year old chihuahua would help?

[Paul Ross]

LOL!!!

This is precisely the kind of thing that one could expect to someday be a real demand by these communist pseudo scientists...

As an aside for those who wish a brief scientific summary: the earth's magnetic field is generally believed to be generated deeply within the core by the churning of liquid iron...which features a strong ferro-magnetic property. Surface deposits have virtually no role in the earth's magnetic field, other than possible deflection of its pattern slightly. Gold is not a powerful magnetic element. I.e.,

Diamagnetic metals have a very weak and negative susceptibility to magnetic fields. Diamagnetic materials are slightly repelled by a magnetic field and the material does not retain the magnetic properties when the external field is removed. Diamagnetic materials are solids with all paired electron resulting in no permanent net magnetic moment per atom. Diamagnetic properties arise from the realignment of the electron orbits under the influence of an external magnetic field. Most elements in the periodic table, including copper, silver, and gold, are diamagnetic.

[mudblood]

I like chihuahuas :) Deal!

[mudblood]

Baah, facts...you can prove anything with facts... Open your eyes man!

[F.J. Mitchell]

PS. She does have a heart of gold. ;)

[windsorknot]

Woe to those who suffer from the heartbreak of Jonwar Chodu.

[dfwgator]

You know, you could probably go to any environmentalist whackos get together, and distribute this, and 90% of them will believe it.

Just like when Penn and Teller got the whackos to sign a petition to ban Dihydrogen Monoxide. (That's H₂O, or Water, for those of you in Rio Linda)

[mazda77]

Dang, I thought something was wrong with the electromaget in the scrap field. All the gold just stays on the ground.

[calex59]

There is a growing body of evidence now to support the theory that Western enviro-pillaging is leading to the flip-flop of the Earth's magnetic field.

The acclaimed Indian science journal Jonwar Chodu recently published a controversial piece denouncing the Western World's mining of metal in 3rd world countries.

But not for the normal reasons of hegemonic multinational imperialism - itself a good reason to stop all this horrible mining... No, this time it was for a reason far worse. You see, when you take metals from one part of the world, depleting them from whole regions almost entirely, and then you transport these metals to OTHER parts of the world, what you are doing is basically causing the magnetic field of the Earth to be altered. This, in time, could result in a catastrophic flipping of the Earth's magnetic field.

The results of such an occurrence cannot be understated: satellites falling out of the sky into peaceful communities, tumors spontaneously appearing among humans and animals in record numbers, tidal waves, tsunamis, earthquakes... The list goes on and on. According to Jonwar Chodu, the only way to rectify this is to move masses of metals BACK to the third world.

Now, because it makes no sense to ship back metals like steel and aluminum, due to the sheer quantities needed, they recommend the only solution possible: shipping over precious metals. You see, one ounce of gold is magnetically equivalent to like 10 pounds of iron. This disparity, it is hoped, will put the Earth's magnetic field back on safe footing, to the betterment of all. But we need to start NOW!

If this article isn't satire someone needs to go see their local mental health clinic.

[elcid1970]

I’ve been taking iron supplements for years now. Recently I started taking Viagra.

Now, every time I step out my front door, I stop, slowly turn and face north.

[MiltonFriedmanFan]

Absolutely, our core contains about 100,000,000,000 times the combined weight of any precious metals we have ever harvested. A first year HS science teacher would destroy this guy’s theory in peer review.

[M. Dodge Thomas]

Would it not equally effective to ship over an adequate quality of tinfoil?

[QBFimi2]

Tinfoil. That reminds me - where in the hell did I put my hat?

[Citizen Tom Paine]

So there were H. Sapiens around the last time the Earth’s magnetic field flipped millions of years ago. For all the ding a lings, the Earth’s magnetic field originates in the Earth’s iron, molten core. In case you had forgotten.

[Nuc1]

I agree with the article. All who want to make a difference for the earth, send me your gold.

[Busywhiskers]

I suppose if one believes the story about man’s emissions of CO2 causing global warming, it is easy to believe that we can also alter the magnetic field.

[Oldpuppymax]

And besides, if you go south of the equator, all the blood rushes to your head!

[mudblood]

God bless you...

[Nateman]

If gold is ten times more magnetically active than iron then radioactive waste is 10 times more than gold. We must ship that radioactive waste to 3rd world countries immediately!

[mudblood]

Nice...

[BP2]

The concept that we could mine an infinitesimal speck of the earth's total metals — from only the earth's crust — and somehow affect the earth's magnetic core is so laughable that I don't even know where to begin.

So instead, I'll post a diagram that would appear in any middle school science book to prove how much this concept is pseudo-science poppycock.

But I agree with everyone else — send me your palladium, platinum, silver and gold and I'll ensure their heavy atomic weights are put to good use.

[Bubba_Leroy]

We are all going to die! In less than 125 years, every man, woman and child now living on Earth will be dead!!!

Women and minorities will be hardest hit.

[Vroomfondel]

Does Art Bell know about this?

[Paul Ross]

You should try Obama’s line when the dictionary was brought out...”You must be desperate, man!”