Viewing Aids for Obama’s Big Speech

Flopping Aces ^ | 09-08-09 | Curt

[Starman417]

Print out one of these handy banners and tape to the bottom of your TV screen....

You know those annoying news banners at the bottom of the television screen on news channels? Well, here's your chance to make your own and have some fun if you plan to watch Obama's big speech to a joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

Copy one or more of these into your word processor and print them out on a sheet of paper with a font large enough to be seen from across the room. Then tape to the bottom of the screen as Obama speaks.

America: We Warned You!

Sanctimonious Scolding Socialist!

Hope and Change or Hype and Con Game?

Snake Oil!

Just say NO!

[Uncle Miltie]

KILL THE BILL!

[Seruzawa]

I’m afraid I’m not masochistic enough to listen to Obama’s, or frankly, ANY politician’s “pretty song”.

Clinton, Obama, Bush (1&2)... doesn’t matter. I can get all the lies I need by listening to my son’s excuses about why the lawn didn’t get mowed. Why go asking for them?

[Sparko]

In addition to the viewing aids, don't forget the drinking aids.

[BubbaBasher]

[BubbaBasher]

[McGruff]

[Revolting cat!]

[a fool in paradise]

Don’t forget, you’ll need to put some windshield wipers on your telly to clear the spit off the screen.

[vicar7]

I am lying only when I am moving my lips

[Revolting cat!]

[Sparko]

[nascarnation]

Don’t forget to monitor the TOTUS head flip frequency.
It’s a great indicator of his stress level.

[Tzimisce]

You owe us 50k dollars BEFORE we give you this. :)

[Sparko]

That’s an absolute factoid.

We need a TOTUS head flip frequency monitor.

[nascarnation]

FOX should have it on a sidebar, like the baseball pitcher’s ball speed.

[Sparko]

[nascarnation]

somebody with the skills could make a great youtube video using TOTUS flip frequency analysis

maybe somebody on FR can help?

[4Speed]

ping

[pulaskibush]

Is somebody going to put up a live thread.

[Sparko]

[nascarnation]

OUTSTANDING!!!!

[ssaftler]

My viewing aid will be http://www.pogo.com.

[ScottinVA]

Too bad it’s not Saturday night. I could host an Obama drinking game. Contestants would take numbers to draw certain words, and down a shot every time he utters it. Of course, because zer0 loves to say “I” more than ANY other word in the English language, whoever draws it will end up passed out in the first two minutes. Other popular zer0isms are “unsustainable,” “unacceptable,” “inherited,” “clear” (as in “let me be...”), “challenges,” “critical,” “urgent,” and “downplay,” among others.

[a fool in paradise]

FOX should have it on a sidebar, like the baseball pitcher’s ball speed.

Just put one of these in the lower righthand corner of the screen:

[a fool in paradise]

With that many words, you should make up 5x5 grids and pass them out to your guests to play BULLS**T Bingo.

Don’t forget “justice” (social justice, economic justice, environmental justice...) and “historic”.

[ScottinVA]

Don’t forget “justice” (social justice, economic justice, environmental justice...) and “historic”.

Notably absent are: "freedom," "liberty," "self-determination," "strength," etc.

[a fool in paradise]

Barack talked about “personal responsibility” yesterday to school children.

And yet many are not personally responsible for health choices they make (when it comes to preventative measures in diet, risky sexual practices, unplanned pregnancy, etc. or choosing to pay for medical insurance over cable, cigarettes, cellphones, internet lines...).

[OrioleFan]

New drinking game:
You have to chug every time he switches teleprompters.
You will notice the speech will go by really fast.

[Sparko]

LOL. That sounds like the watcher will hit the floor by the fourth minute.

[OrioleFan]

The other ways to do it are:
1) Chug every time he says “uh”.
2) Chug every time a Congressman in the audience yells “liar”, or everytime McLame apologizes for the Congressman who yelled “liar”.