Martha Stewart Banned from Britian for Spreading Hate and Pastels

http://strangeherring.com ^ | May 6, 2009 | Anthony Sacramone

[This Just In]

Martha Stewart Banned from Britain for Spreading Hate and Pastels

Posted by Anthony Sacramone on May 6, 2009

Or was it hate of pastels? No. Wait. It was because of her arrest record. She’s a felon. A dangerous, wild-eyed felon. (If you think this is an unfortunate exaggeration, have you ever owned one of her lamps?)

She’s not the only ruthless criminal barred from Britain. Mental Floss has compiled a list of a few others who will not be seeing Big Ben up close any time soon. (Although it’s probably time to give the Paul Robeson thing a rest. He dead.)

A whole lotta hugga-mugga was stirred when another list of reprobates who have been barred from the land of Shakespeare, Dickens, and Benny Hill was made public. They are personae non gratae for spreading hate, however.

Look, a sovereign nation has the right to control its borders. After all, there is no fundamental human right to see The Mousetrap. (Just as there is no fundamental human right to live and work in the United States, a novel concept that has not yet caught on in the higher echelons of our government.)

I mean, would you want Klansmen, Islamic radicals, skinheads, and the guy who sells ShamWow wandering around your local mall shopping for fertilizer and steak knives? Like we do in New York? (I think one of them is the ShamWow guy. I may be wrong.)

But talk-show host Michael Savage has also been caught up in this net. He’s definitely not my cup of tea, but is that really the road the British Home Secretary wants to travel? Where do you draw the line as to what constitutes objectionable political speech? What books will be banned? What movies? And I’d like to know why hosts from Pacifica / Air America radio programs didn’t also show up on this list? They don’t spread hate? They sure as heck don’t spread love.

I hope my post on communist drywall doesn’t get me banned from Britain. While I did see The Mousetrap, I never got to tour the Imperial Wheatabix Museum. I don’t want that on my permanent record.