Posted on 09/22/2008 9:45:26 AM PDT by John Semmens
Democratic vice-presidential nominee, Senator Joe Biden (Del), castigated Republican economic policies for making it difficult for most middle class families to afford toasters. “People are forced to eat cold sandwiches or settle for untoasted bagels with their eggs because of Bush’s mismanagement of the economy,” Biden claimed.
Biden said this problem will be corrected in an Obama/Biden administration by a tax hike on the wealthy. “Not only will we put a toaster on every kitchen counter,” Biden boasted, “but we’ll be forcing the rich to do their patriotic duty to support those less well-off than themselves.”
In related news, Biden objected to being characterized as a “miser” because his contributions to charity have been tiny (about $500/year on an income averaging over $250,000/year) compared to the average for income earners in his tax bracket. “This doesn’t count my public service as a senator,” Biden said. “This is a massive in-kind donation unmatched by the typical taxpayer. My generosity with my time shouldn’t be overlooked.”
(Excerpt) Read more at azconservative.org ...
Good Grief
LOL...it gets more difficult to separate parody from Democrat political pandering with every passing day.
I seriously think we ought to pass a law that forbids anyone running for President for eighteen months.
LOL...very funny.
Again - almost too close to the truth to be able to tell it is satire.
Of course we should only use a toaster if it is run by “green” generated power......
/sarc
I’m willing to chip in one of these:
a toaster on every kitchen counter! ROTFLMAO!!! perfect for the gaffemaster.
The lyrics
All around the country coast to coast,
people always say what do you like most,
I don’t wanna brag i don’t wanna boast,
I always tell ‘em I like toast.
yeah TOAST yeah TOAST
i get up in the mornin’ bout six AM,
have a little jelly have a little jam,
take a piece of bread put it in the slot,
push down the lever and the wires gets hot,
i get toast.
yeah TOAST yeah TOAST
now there’s no secret to toasting perfection,
there’s a dial on the side and you make your selection,
push to the dark or the light and then,
if it pops too soon press down again,
make toast.
yeah TOAST yeah TOAST
when the first caveman drove in from the drags,
didn’t know what would go with the bacon and the eggs,
must have been a genius got it in his head,
plug the toaster in the wall,
buy a bag of bread,
make toast.
yeah TOAST yeah TOAST
oui monsieur bonjour coquette,
uh huh croissante vous a ver,
maurice chevalier effeil tower,
oh oui maria bagette bon soir,
FRENCH TOAST FRENCH TOAST
in chicago around the Bob and Tom show
YEAH TOAST
http://www.lyricsdownload.com/bob-and-tom-toast-song-lyrics.html
Jeez, talk about arrogant. How can it be an “in-kind donation” when he is being paid a salary as a U.S. Senator?
As for the “toaster gap” between the rich and the poor, maybe we should all send him toasters so he can redistribute them to the poor. (It would also be a nice metaphore for the Obama-Biden ticket; toast.)
NOW is on record as demanding that all toaster ovens be replaced with 4-slice automatic toasters; asserting that having *something in the oven* is unacceptable.
A spokesperson stated; “Men have been getting hot stuff without effort for eons...women want the same freedom to pop stuff in, heat it up and pop it out at will”
Toaster on every counter. lol
I mean really how many people do not have toasters - what a moron.
Oh, and I just bought a new toaster at WalMart for $8.88.
BREAD & BUTTER
(The Newbeats, hickory #1269, 1964)
He likes bread and butter,
he likes toast and jam,
That’s what his baby feeds him,
he’s her loving man.
I like bread and butter,
I like toast and jam,
That’s what my baby feeds me,
I’m her loving man.
She don’t cook mashed potatoes,
she don’t cook T-bone steaks,
Don’t feed me peanut butter,
she knows that I can’t take.
He likes bread and butter,
he likes toast and jam,
That’s what his baby feeds him,
he’s her loving man.
Got home early one morning,
much to my surprise,
She was eating chicken and dumplings
with some other guy.
No more bread and butter,
no more toast and jam,
I found my baby eating
with some other man.
Yes! Patriotic! Because that's what this country was founded on: higher taxes!
We fought a Revolution to have higher taxes!
Yes! Patriotic! Because that's what this country was founded on: higher taxes!
We fought a Revolution to have higher taxes!
The death penalty should be imposed on people that post garbage that isn’t true!
it’s called satire, and John is the master at it.
It’s clearly marked as satire in two places.
Besides, it is semi-true. Biden did say people can’t afford toasters and he did say we need higher taxes.
His low contributions to charity are a matter of public record.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.