Poor Handjob... he was due to get out soon...
Posted on 09/26/2009 2:18:16 PM PDT by WesternCulture
A German trucker suspected of driving under the influence of drugs crashed his vehicle near Borås in western Sweden on Tuesday. He subsequently admitted to masturbating at the time of the accident.
The trucker, apparently unable to reach a satisfactory climax, then proceeded to continue to pleasure himself while in the midst of a police interrogation, according to the local Borås Tidning newspaper.
"He was masturbating while the police interrogated him," police prosecutor Åsa Askenbäck told the newspaper.
"He has admitted that he was not paying full attention at the time of the accident. He was playing with himself instead of focusing on the road."
The truck driver was en route from Gothenburg to Borås at around 4am on Tuesday morning. The truck and trailer flipped over when he rammed his vehicle into the central division on route 40 south of Borås.
The upturned vehicle blocked all traffic towards Gothenburg and one lane was closed in the direction of Borås.
The man remained in the vehicle with his hands apparently still clasped around his own gear stick and was subsequently arrested for reckless driving and driving while under the influence of drugs.
The suspicions against the man have now been extended to sexual molestation.
The German trucker, who is in his thirties, has admitted all of the charges directed against him.
Trucking, European style (early Rowan Atkinson stuff):
Always keep one hand on the wheel and the other....
thats just whacked out.. no pun.. LOL
What is his DU screen name?
Wonder which one was it.
Hans.
Got to hand it to him!!!!
Whatta jerkoff....
I wonder if he went to downshift and...well, you can guess the rest.
Jaggov Ping.
Did they really have to put that small detail into the report?
He was very determined to deliver his load.
You wrote:
“What is his DU screen name?”
Rubber Duck?
When stationed in Germany it wasn’t uncommon, while on a road march, to pass truckers with a woman in the cab with them and the woman usually had her breast exposed while the driver was driving with one hand. I would suspect they had a lot of truck accidents while I was there!
“The man remained in the vehicle with his hands apparently still clasped around his own gear stick....”
Arrggh.........
Whatta wanker!
Choking the chicken becomes a moving offense.
I liked the part where he jerked off the cops.
Bwhahahah.
“Flipped his rig?” What’s that, the new euphemism?
“The suspicions against the man have now been extended to sexual molestation.”
against someone else, or himself? if himself, how can you molest yourself?
He mistook it for the gear shift!
Running my rig around 95,
Rocking and a rolling in overdrive.
My heart is beating like a jackhammer.
It’s a midnight ride for the gearjammer.
Nine long days through twenty-three states.
I’ve gotta see my baby soon, you know I just can’t wait.
Yeah, if the police catch me, I’ll end up in the slammer,
Cause the law don’t want no gearjammer.
Running my rig in a mighty high gear.
I don’t care where I go, as long as it ain’t here.
If something gets in my way, you know I’m gonna ram her.
Nobody fools around with this gearjammer.
Wish these truckers would quit “jackin’ around!”
No comment ncessary.
That is very funny. Thanks.
This will be one of those “legendary” threads I suppose?
The dude has obviously had some kind of mental break down.
You, Chuck, now owe 1$ to the monitor replenishment fund on FR. Outstanding post LOL
I’ve been drivin’ all night, my hand’s wet on the wheel
There’s a voice in my head that drives my heel
It’s my baby callin’, says I need you here
And it’s half past four and I’m shifting gear
Over here in Europe, tucking is considered a noble art.
I like trucking, I like trucking,
I like trucking and I like to truck.
I like trucking, I like trucking,
If you don’t like trucking, tough luck.
On the road, you must be brave and tireless,
On the road, you can listen to the wireless,
On the road, you eat café food with pride,
You can throw it up outside.
The greatest kick in trucking comes from knocking down a biker,
Or swinging round a roundabout and picking up a hiker,
You’re chatting up that piece of skirt who’s sitting by your side,
Then pop the crucial question - a ride for a ride?
I like trucking, I like trucking,
I like trucking and I like to truck.
I like trucking, I like trucking,
If you don’t like trucking, tough luck.
Perhaps the greatest laugh of all, that makes this life worthwhile,
Is waving on the car behind, giving him a smile,
With glasses and with gratitude, he revs his little load,
And meets another trucking truck, a-trucking down the road.
On the road, you must be tough and ruthless,
And the rumours that we’re gay are truthless,
On the road, you can wear your shirtsleeves rolled,
You eat chocolate when it’s cold.
From behind, we like to sneak up on you from behind,
Never mind, if you hit ‘em never mind.
We like trucking, we like trucking,
We like trucking and we like to truck.
We like trucking, we like trucking,
If you don’t like trucking, tough luck.
The man remained in the vehicle with his hands apparently still clasped around his own gear stick..Quite fine wordsmithing.
Poor Handjob... he was due to get out soon...
Hand jive, hand jive, Doing that crazy hand jive...
Officer, I've got a rocket in my pocket!
I’ve seen signs for truckers on some of the long hills in Pensylvania that say, “No Jaking”. Must be something to it...
So, ahh, why do they think he was on drugs, ya think?
i was surprised when i read about “trucker bombs”. (gallon water or milk jugs filled with urine and tossed out the rig, so the driver doesn’t waste time (or as i say, be a disgusting pig) going potty at a rest stop.
washington state keeps track of how many of these they pick up by the roadside.
my question is: how can the lid stay intact when being thrown from a fast moving truck?
Ah, keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel
Keep your eyes on the road, your hands upon the wheel
Yeah, we’re goin’ to the roadhouse
Gonna have a real
A good time
Yeah, back at the roadhouse they got some bungalows
Yeah, back at the roadhouse they got some bungalows
And that’s for the people
Who like to go down slow
Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll, baby, roll
Let it roll, all night long
Actually, “No Jaking” directs truck drivers on steep downhill grades not to use their `jake brake’, or Jacobs Exhaust Brake, which utilizes engine compression to slow the vehicle and is normally used for short duration stops, usually at intersections.
Wish I could add to the thread but all the jokes have already been taken except what about these “trucker bombs”?
Are all those truck drivers “sitzpinklers”?
Thanks for that post of yours.
This classic has nothing to do with hand jobs (or does it?), but I think we all agree it belongs in this thread.
Hail to Smokey, the Bandit and all of the other guys in the business!
“Well, I pulled out of Pittsburgh,
Rollin’ down the Eastern Seaboard.
I’ve got my diesel wound up,
And she’s running like never before.
There’s a speed zone ahead, all right,
I don’t see a cop in sight.
Six days on the road and I’m gonna make it home tonight.
I got ten forward gears,
And a Georgia overdrive.
I’m taking little white pills,
And my eyes are open wide.
I just passed a ‘Jimmy’ and a ‘White’:
I’ve been passin’ everything in sight.
Six days on the road and I’m gonna make it home tonight.
Well, it seems like a month,
Since I kissed my baby good-bye.
I could have a lot of women,
But I’m not like some other guys.
I could find one to hold me tight,
But I could never believe that it’s right.
Six days on the road and I’m gonna make it home tonight.
I.C.C. is checking on down the line.
I’m a little overweight and my log’s three days behind.
But nothing bothers me tonight.
I can dodge all the scales all right,
Six days on the road and I’m gonna make it home tonight.
Well my rig’s a little old,
But that don’t mean she’s slow.
There’s a flame from her stack,
And the smoke’s rolling black as coal.
My hometown’s coming in sight,
If you think I’m happy your right.
Six days on the road and I’m gonna make it home tonight.
Six days on the road and I’m gonna make it home tonight.
Six days on the road and I’m gonna make it home tonight.”
CHORUS 1
Yes, he died with his Ding Dong in his hand.
He scattered cream-filled cupcakes ‘cross the land.
One of life's great big no-nos,
He was a-reachin’ for his Ho Hos,
And he died with his Ding Dong in his hand...
There was a country singer
Who was eatin’ Zingers
As he sang with the red-hot country band.
The band was really smokin’
And the singer started chokin’;
And he died with his Ding Dong in his hand...
CHORUS 2
Yes, he died with his Ding Dong in his hand;
The last song he sang was really grand.
Oh, he thought he was the most-est,
Until he bit that big, black Hostess;
And he died with his Ding Dong in his hand.
Yes, he died with his Ding Dong in his hand,
He scattered cream-filled cupcakes across the land...
Well, I hope that I pray,
Oh, when I reach that fateful day,
I will die with a great big, humongous Ding Dong in my hand...
******I would suspect they had a lot of truck accidents while I was there!*****
What did your “being there” have to do with it???????
LOL!!!!
- I’m stunned:D
Why did I start this perverted, miserable thread?
At least he wasn’t texting!
Not real bright are you?
I was stating that during my time there, we observed many truckers fondling women while driving trucks, I was stating that during the time of my enlistment that they probably had many truck accidents. I wouldn’t know about if truckers fondled women while driving before I was there or after I left, hence I my mentioning only the time I was there. Do you get it now, dumb a**?
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