Posted on 02/08/2019 6:35:33 PM PST by simpson96
One Florida man had an interesting interpretation of the phrase “kill ‘em with kindness,” police say.
Bryan Duane Stewart, a 30-year-old from Milton, wrote the word “kindness” on a machete — and then tried to stab a neighbor with it on Wednesday, according to a police report McClatchy obtained from the Santa Rosa County Sheriff’s Office.
Jail records from the sheriff’s office say Stewart faces aggravated assault and aggravated battery charges and has a $10,000 bond after he was put behind bars at the Santa Rosa County Jail early Thursday morning.
That neighbor went on a shopping run to Walmart, police say, and when he came back he found Stewart outside with a machete. A second neighbor told police that he went up to Stewart’s home because he was worried about the loud noises coming from his house, the arrest report says, and then Stewart came at him with the machete inscribed with the word “kindness.”
The first neighbor then stepped in and put his hand in the way of Stewart’s machete, police say. He suffered a cut on his hand while protecting the second neighbor, who “was in fear that he was about to be stabbed,” according to the arrest report.
Stewart was arrested that evening, according to the arrest report. Police reported “the strong odor of alcohol beverage emitting from his breath. His eyes were blood shot and watery.”(snip)
“Prior to my departure from the scene Stewart would not stop banging his head and kicking the inside of the patrol car,” the officer wrote. “Due to his aggressive and belligerent behavior, he was hobbled for his own safety. While on the way to the Santa Rosa County Jail he continued to bang his head repeatedly off of the seat of the patrol car.”
(Excerpt) Read more at miamiherald.com ...
*headline ping* ;)
Aggravated assault and aggravated battery with a machete charges only draws a $10k bail? This guy does not belong on the streets period.
Florida man just doing what he does best, getting his picture on Al Gore’s amazing internet while making his momma and daddy proud. Just another day in the great sunshine state we call Flori-duh.
True story. My mom and dad’s preacher has a fishing boat named Visitation. He spends a lot of time ‘out on visitation’.
I gotta admit that that headline gave me a good chuckle.
The guy is obviously an idiot. Machetes aren't stabbing tools. They are for slashing and hacking.
Be glad he didn’t have a bat named “Lucille”.
Didn’t his mama tell him not to drink if he wanted to hack off something?
Darwin Award nominee.
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