Skip to comments.Enhanced Footage Of Service Reveals Hillary Was Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu (Sat)
Posted on 12/07/2018 2:53:36 AM PST by Gamecock
Full Title: Enhanced Footage Of Memorial Service Reveals Hillary Clinton Was Actually Reciting Ancient Ritual To Summon Cthulhu From His Slumber
WASHINGTON, D.C.It may have looked like Hillary Clinton was reciting the Apostles' Creed along with the rest of those gathered at yesterday's memorial service for George H.W. BushTrump and his wife excepted. But the truth appears to be far more sinister: enhanced, slowed-down, zoomed-in footage of the event revealed that Clinton was actually reciting an ancient cultic ritual to raise ancient god Cthulhu from his slumber.
As others around her dutifully cited the Apostles' Creed, Clinton's eyes glazed over in a trance. Her voice took on a cold, eldritch quality, "at least more than usual," according to witnesses. "Phnglui mglwnafh Cthulhu Rlyeh wgahnagl fhtagn!" she began, as others in her pew shifted uncomfortably. "Phnglui mglwnafh Cthulhu Rlyeh wgahnagl fhtagn!"
According to scholars, the phrase roughly translates as "In his house at R'lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming."
The doors of the church burst wide open. A frigid wind blasted the congregation as Clinton chanted louder and louder, approaching the front of the church: "Cthulhu fhtagn! Cthulhu fhtagn!" CTHULHU FHTAGN!"
Luckily, the former secretary of state then stumbled on a step and was subdued by her aides.
"It was a close one," Bill Clinton said, chuckling nervously. "When you get her going like that, you usually just have to wait it out. Just last week she very nearly summoned a Shoggoth as we were sitting down to watch CSPAN."
"...I'll have know,your post has delay my daily morning turd delivery.. which means my whole day will be mmmm slow, thus my normal,youthful,sprite self....thanks!"
I’m with the cat on #4
Cthulhu 2020! Stop voting for the lesser evil!
Wouldn’t surprise me.......
So how is this satire?
Fake news—but ACCURATE nevertheless.
Have more coffee then
How to translate Rlyehian
We know this, because Hillary is too drugged to be able to walk and talk at the same time, to be able to stand and talk at the same time for extended periods of time, or to be able to climb more than one flight of stairs at a time.
To claim she is able to read and speak fluent Clothaugu at the same time is inconceivable! (But to fight a land war in Asia is also inconceivable.)
I thought Babylon Bee was parody.
Post16 is a kick! ( Perhaps it’s just Parkinsons?)
They both are fascists with Parkinson’s ?
The similarities between today’s liberal fascists today, and the former draconian fascists are really quite shocking.
Both seek a final solution in a totalitarian state.Hillary seems more full of hate than Adolf.
( Great photo work there, BTW)
Did I really have to mention that this is satire? Spoof?
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