Someone called 911, but this man’s maple instrument wasn’t a gun. It was a bassoon.

Springfield News-Sun ^ | May 12, 2018 | Tom Stafford

[rightwingintelligentsia]

On the afternoon of April 5, after giving three lessons at his alma mater, Kenton Ridge High School, 22-year-old Eric Barga drove to Covenant Presbyterian Church for practices of the bell choir and arrived half an hour early, at about 6 p.m. Although the temperature was in the mid-50s, after years spent in claustrophobic practice rooms while working toward his degree from the exclusive New England Conservatory in Boston, Barga pulled the custom-made Fox 610 red maple bassoon out of its case, sat on the trunk of his car in the refreshing air and began playing scales.

“There was a nice orange sky in the background,” he recalled. “It was one of the first nice days.”

About seven minutes later, Springfield police received a 911 call reporting that a white male in a jacket and jeans was sitting on the back of his car in the church lot with what looked not like an oboe, the instrument Barga says it’s most often confused with, but a long rifle. Listed under “additional information” on the dispatch form is what, in retrospect, must be considered a grace note: “Unknown of it was for sure.”

[rightwingintelligentsia]

[Flycatcher]

Wonder what these snowflakes would do if they saw someone with a didgeridoo?

[Fresh Wind]

A bassoon is an assault oboe.

[spokeshave2]

Wow...a custom-made Fox 610 red maple bassoon involves some serious money

Try this one for size:

The Fox Model 240 Renard Bassoon is in the key of C. Red maple body, full German system plus high D and E keys, short bore. Other features include natural rubber linings in the wing joint and small bore of the boot joint, French bell (metal ring), body lock, nickel silver keys with silverplating,

$9,495.50

[Tax-chick]

Darn, it’s a surface-to-air missile launcher! We’re all gonna die!

[Jemian]

My sister plays the bassoon. Trust me. It IS a deadly weapon.

[Telepathic Intruder]

They didn’t have modern bassoons when they wrote the 2nd amendment.

[Vaquero]

Ban Assault Woodwinds!!!!

[a fool in paradise]

“The caller is a maroon.” - Bugs Bunny

[a fool in paradise]

They would faint from the cultural appropriation.

[a fool in paradise]

A scary looking bassoon IS an assault bassoon.

Probably had a customized grip.

[COBOL2Java]

You never know, it could have been an assault bassoon. LOL

[Right Wing Assault]

It's a good thing this guy wasn't black. We would have had a week or more of being "black while playing a bassoon." Various morons would be babbling to the news how terrible this was.

[Covenantor]

Hoboes and buffoons, the bad boys of symphony orchestras....

[dfwgator]

There’s already too much sax and violins.

[COBOL2Java]

About seven minutes later, Springfield police received a 911 call reporting that a white male in a jacket and jeans was sitting on the back of his car in the church lot with what looked not like an oboe, the instrument Barga says it’s most often confused with, but a long rifle. Listed under “additional information” on the dispatch form is what, in retrospect, must be considered a grace note: “Unknown of it was for sure.”

Some crazy things happen in Springfield, that's for sure!

[ObozoMustGo2012]

No one needs a woodwind that big to play scales....

[Fightin Whitey]

too much sax and violins

Is that original?

Hilarious.

[Flick Lives]

Barga pulled the custom-made Fox 610 red maple bassoon...

That's like the AR-15 of bassoons. Only military marching bands should have access to the Fox 610.

[Loud Mime]

If you Google search “Bassoon Jokes” you will be laughing for a while.