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To: dayglored

Picture this:

Bill Gates dies and goes to the pearly gates (no pun here). He stands before St Peter and asks, “Well, Heaven or not?” The apostle reaches done and pulls a large hour glass, flips it over and sets it on the lectern...turns around and walks away.

8 posted on 04/20/2018 12:49:12 PM PDT by VRW Conspirator (Enforce the Law. Build the Wall. Deport them All.)
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To: VRW Conspirator
Bill Gates is a young entrepreneur just out of Harvard B-School, fretting over his patched up version of DOS. One night, he wakes up from a troubled sleep, and the devil is standing at the foot of his bed.

“Young Gates, I can do something for you. No matter how bad your software is, I'll make billions of people buy it. It will be on most of the computers in the world. You'll be the richest man on planet Earth.”

“Well, yes, that sounds great - And, of course, the catch?”

“I want your soul.”

“I dunno,” Gates says. “I'm not keen on spending eternity in Hell...”

“Oh, now, now." Satan says. “Hell's gotten a bad rap. Here, look...” .... and the Devil pops a floppy disk into Bill's computer.

The screen fills with scenes from a tropical paradise. People are laughing, playing golf, sitting on the beach... eating from banquet tables piled high with terrific food...

“See?” Lucifer says. “It's not so bad....”

Gates thinks about it for a minute. “Well, gosh, yes, that's a lot better than I thought it would be! OK, where do I sign?”

You know what happened next. Gates goes on to be a billionaire, and we're all force to use cr@ppy Windows.

.... Gates dies, and meet the Devil at the gates of Hell. From inside, the sulfur and brimstone waft out and burn his eyes. People are screaming in pain, their skin on fire...

“Wait a minute,” Gates complains. “This isn't what you showed me!”

“Oh, that,” says the Devil as he pushed Gates into the squirming mass of screaming souls.

“That was the demo. This is the retail version.”

16 posted on 04/20/2018 1:13:27 PM PDT by Fido969 (In!)
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