Posted on 03/01/2018 10:01:53 AM PST by sodpoodle
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it. 3. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils. 4. The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize. 5. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. 6. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor. 7. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired. 8. Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. 9. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed. 10. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.
With all the sadness and political trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.
Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote ‘The Hokie Pokey’ died peacefully at the age of 93.
The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in (of course) ... and then the trouble started.
Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Pentecostal missionary? Didn’t taste bad, but he kept throwing up his hands.
“And how do you make a hormone?”
Don’t pay her.
> I thought one of these would make me groan. No pun in ten did. <
Excellent! If you made that up yourself, I’d say you quality for some sort of genius award.
Thanks!
Time’s fun when you’re having flies.
I asked a midget for a dollar, but he said - sorry, I’m a little short.
I can tune a piano but I can’t tuna fish. I know, it’s sofa king lame. lol
As a rhetorician, is Bill Clinton a master debater or simply a cunning linguist?
“Time flies like an arrow- fruit flies like a banana”
I don’t see that all fruit flies like a banana. A round fruit like an orange or an apple should fly better with the same impetus. A heavy fruit like a ripe watermelon shouldn’t fly as well with the same impetus.
What if 'The Hokey Pokey' really IS what it's all about?
This just in: The guy who fell into the upholstering machine is now fully recovered.
Student said to the teacher, “If that’s one of your ‘quizies’, I’d hate to see one of your ‘testies’.
LOL!
Chicago landscapers are like fine cigars, the best ones come from Ecuador.
Mr. RR always makes me coffee in the morning because it is a commandment in the Bible. Hebrews.
Not really a pun.
I enjoy your posts. Thanks.
And the lord Gore spake, saying: “Ye shalt levy a tax on whatever problem that there shalt be, and the government, being thereby funded, shalt administer the funds to increase the bounty of its largess that the people may agree to suffer it ever more powers and ever more taxes. For, lo, though you walk through the valley of the shadow of staged crisis ye shalt fear no dissent, thy safe spaces shalt be apportioned (unless thee be a white Christian and male) and thy welfare hold out as long as the economy shalt last.”
I don’t smoke Spanish
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