Posted on 11/21/2017 4:47:20 AM PST by Impy
Yeah, sorry, it's me again. Bender told me to tell you he's really looking forward to getting back in the saddle when he feels better. He really misses yall.
Until then
Today we have a guest with a very special announcement, please welcome former Bears placekicker Connor Barth. Connor, I understand you were cut yesterday after missing that potential game-tier on Sunday.
"That's right, Impy, and I'm gonna get cut in a different way tomorrow, you see I'm donating my legs to a wounded warrior who will put them to far better use than I ever could!"
Wow, that's quite a noble sacrifice, Connor. Who's the lucky recipient?
"That would be me."
Hey there, where did you lose your legs, soldier?
"Mustafar."
Oh, that's near Fallujah, right?
"Um......yes, that's correct. So anyhow I've been using these high-tech replacments, my movement is clunky, they take forever to recharge, and they add like a foot to my height. I had to spend a small fortune on a custom order mattress and I can't tell you how many times I've hit my head getting into the car, it really stinks."
Well, thanks to Connor, you have a lot to be thankful for!
"Just one thing, I'll still be able to kick around a soccer ball with my pain in the arse grandson 
, right?"
"Absolutely! Just maybe aim a little to the left of where you want the ball to go, or sometimes a little to the right."
So, Thanksgiving, that means lots of Thursday action on the gridiron. It's a longstanding tradition, watching the Lions lose, and the Cowboys win. What are your plans, obviously not at all photoshopped attractive blonde Bears fan?
"I go by Belly Button Chick now, it's a lot easier to type. I'm gonna watch the Lions win and the Cowboys lose, sitting on the couch next to you, very good looking man who is definitely not holding me prisoner in his basement."
Hey, when you say it like that people might think I'm not actually good looking! So, who are our local boys playing on Sunday? Cleveland?
"No, that's Christmas Eve, this week is @ Philly."
Ah f%^&!
Happy Thanksgiving everybody!
Get your Turkey Day picks in.
Shouldn’t this be posted as a caucus thread in the Religion section?
Redskin lower level seats going for $9-15, I’d say they’ve already lost ...
I am a playoff/super bowl fan. Not a diehard fan like some here. I refuse to watch.
I recommend a new league be formed by patriotic billionaires. I will no longer fund, by watching, NFL games.
Shouldn’t this be posted as a caucus thread in the Religion section?
“Sellout Caucus”
(ironic pun intended)
I miss reading your threads, bender! (thanks for posting, Impy!)
Bender, get will and back in the saddle!
Thursday, Nov 23, 2017
Minnesota
Dallas
N.Y. Giants
Sunday, Nov 26, 2017
Buffalo
N.Y. Jets
Philadelphia
Cincinnati
New England
Atlanta
Tennessee
Seattle
Denver
Jacksonville
New Orleans
Pittsburgh
Monday, Nov 27, 2017
Baltimore
Good for you. Very virtuous.
And why, oh why, do I keep letting Seattle embarrass me? I don't even LIKE that team!
Minnesota
Chargers
Washington
Kansas City
Carolina
Philadelphia
Cincinnati
New England (Five star lock of the week. Call now and get two picks free!)
Atlanta
Tennessee
Seattle
Oakland
Jacksonville
New Orleans
Pittsburgh
Baltimore
Minnesota [X] at Detroit
L.A. Chargers at Dallas [X]
N.Y. Giants at Washington [X]
Buffalo at Kansas City [X]
Carolina [X] at N.Y. Jets
Chicago at Philadelphia [X]
Cleveland at Cincinnati [X]
Miami at New England [X]
Tampa Bay at Atlanta [X]
Tennessee [X] at Indianapolis
Seattle [X] at San Francisco
Denver at Oakland [X]
Jacksonville [X] at Arizona
New Orleans [X] at L.A. Rams
Green Bay at Pittsburgh [X]
Houston at Baltimore [X]
Wow...you actually picked the Iggles over the 'boys!
Maybe (just maybe...) you do have some redeeming value!
Nah, who am I kidding...
Well, if you absolutely MUST go to watch a bunch of Neanderthals fighting over a pigs belly, you could get by with paying $7.16 for standing room only. Such a waste of good money.
Glad your happy.
Do you also back anti-gun, Marxist candidates. It’s an American tradition, like Sacco and Vanzetti or the Rosenbergs. in for a dime, in for a dollar.
Lions
I still believe in the Cowboys.
Deadskins
Chiefs
Panthers
Philly
Cincy
Patsies
Falcons
Oilers
Seahags
Raiders
Jags
Rams
Stillers
Texans
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= Minnesota at Detroit=
= L.A. Chargers at Dallas========= Buffalo at Kansas City======== Carolina at N.Y. Jets====================== Tennessee at Indianapolis ===== Seattle at San Francisco = Denver at Oakland========= Jacksonville at Arizona === New Orleans at L.A. Rams======= Houston at Baltimore====
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= Democratic People's Republic of Korea at United States of America= 
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