***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD - CONT'D***

[Lucky9teen]

I couldn't resist....so many memes this week

“The needs of United employees outweigh the needs of the many.” #UnitedMovieLines

~

United introduces nose bleed seats. #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

"We've perfected Chinese takeout" #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

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"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You took my father's seat. Prepare to be re-accommodated." #UnitedMovieLines

Our service will knock you out #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

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United 25:17 ...And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my re-accommodation upon thee!" #UnitedMovieLines

This could have been much worse. Imagine if he was wearing leggings. #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

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"It removes itself from the plane or else it gets the hose again." #UnitedMovieLines

May the odds be ever in your favor #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

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Every time a customer's bell is rung a United agent get's his wings #UnitedMovieLines

And that goes for your little carry-on, too! #UnitedMovieLines

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Just imagine how we treat your luggage #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

"What have here us a failure to re-accommodate!" #UnitedMovieLines

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"Drag And Drop" #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

"You are now free to limp about the cabin." #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

 

And for those discouraged by UA, you could try another airline...

To bad he didn't have a Pepsi on him. #NewUnitedAirlinesMottos

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For the win! #CardsAgainstHumanity #pepsi

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And, how many have been taken in by this?

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And, to sum up this week in one pic

[Lucky9teen]

[mylife]

spoken like an old school engineer

[mylife]

Met this tyke a few weeks ago and could not understand a word he said and then suddenly he made sense

“How you doing!?”

He wandered around pointing his lil finger acting like John Effin Wayne

LOL

[ZirconEncrustedTweezers]

Let’s Play 24 Questions

1. What city do you live: San Jose, CA
2. What do you do: Jack-of-all-trades/temp employee
3. How many siblings do you have: 1 sister
4. Any children - how many: None that I know of :)
5. Thing That Last Made You Laugh: this thread
6. Biggest Fear: falling
7. Who is your hero: Not sure I have one
8. Curious - what religion do you practice: Non-practicing Christian
9. Dumbest Lie Ever Told: “No, officer, I have no idea why you stopped me.”
10. Someone Funny who makes you laugh: my friend Michael
11. Age: 49 (honest :) )
12. Real first Name: Scot
13. Nicknames: Scotty (only close friends and family)
14. Favorite Color: Red
15. Someone You Miss: My grandmother
16. Something You Regret Doing: I’ve somehow managed to make it through life with no serious regrets.
17. Favorite movie: Star Wars Ep. V: The Empire Strikes Back
18. Favorite Memory: Camping trips during the summer with my family when I was a kid.
19. Favorite Holiday: Thanksgiving
20. Favorite Season: Fall
21. Favorite Number: 4
22. Thing That Annoys You: Stupid people
23. Shoe Size: 9.5
24. Birthday: Sept. 16

[BenLurkin]

Yep. I have a nose like a bloodhound. And the rest of my face doesn’t look too good either.

[Trillian]

I would love to take over this thread if you’re unable to do it anymore, but I’m going through a lot health wise right now. Maybe when the doctors say I’m ok?

1. What city do you live: Springfield ;)
2. What do you do: I’m a stay at home mom and also do a lot of product testing and reviewing.
3. How many siblings do you have: I have two.
4. Any children - how many: I have eight.
5. Thing That Last Made You Laugh: My mom left a message on the answering machine. When my husband started playing it late last night, I farted very loudly (thank you medication). My kids laughed for so hard and so long, that I missed the whole long message.
Also yesterday, I overheard my kids talking on a long road trip. “When was the end of the world?”
“I think it was in 2012.”
It hurts to laugh because of my throat, so they made me hurt!
6. Biggest Fear: n/a
7. Who is your hero: My husband.
8. Curious - what religion do you practice: Roman Catholic.
9. Dumbest Lie Ever Told: I once told one of my kids I won them a fish tank full of piranhas.
10. Someone Funny who makes you laugh: My husband.
11. Age: Old enough to have a couple of teenagers.
12. Real first Name: n/a
13. Nicknames: Trillian
14. Favorite Color: Light grey.
15. Someone You Miss: My Dad.
16. Something You Regret Doing: Not meeting my husband sooner!
17. Favorite movie: 50 First Dates.
18. Favorite Memory: Buck Naked Burn Notice.
19. Favorite Holiday: My Anniversary.
20. Favorite Season: I like Fall.
21. Favorite Number: I don’t have one.
22. Thing That Annoys You: Communists, leftists, progressives, liberals.. whatever they’re calling themselves today.
23. Shoe Size: 9
24. Birthday: Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.

[Lucky9teen]

Ok, just let me know if/when you want to/can. Thanx

[Conservative4Life]

1. What city do you live: I don’t, nearest city is @ 2hrs away...
2. What do you do: I’m a psychiatrist, psychologist, actor, parent, disciplinarian, watcher, investigator, inquisitor, teacher, poet, comedian, public speaker, Medic ( yes, I do all of these)
3. How many siblings do you have: a couple that I’m aware of
4. Any children - how many: I have eight, that I know of
5. Thing That Last Made You Laugh: “Silence is Golden, unless you have children, then it’s suspicious.”
6. Biggest Fear: not meeting the expectations to enter heaven.
7. Who is your hero: My Dad
8. Curious - what religion do you practice: Roman Catholic.
9. Dumbest Lie Ever Told: Fishsticks are actually made from mermaids.
10. Someone Funny who makes you laugh: My family
11. Age: Old enough to know better, young enough to find out and go to jail for it.
12. Real first Name: Dammit... ( my parents always said” Dammit, what’d you do now?”)
13. Nicknames: Dad & lets just say I used to get a mothers day card every year at work.
14. Favorite Color: Blue
15. Someone You Miss: My Dad.(too many to list)
16. Something You Regret Doing: not going to Antartica when I had the chance.
17. Favorite movies: Addams family, Addams family values, Zohan, Coneheads, Blazing Saddles, Mars attacks, Galaxy Quest
18. Favorite Memory: Drive-in movies with family.
19. Favorite Holiday: My Birthday with my birthday buddy (son)
20. Favorite Season: Spring
21. Favorite Number: 8
22. Thing That Annoys You: media, Marxists, fascists, Communists, leftists, progressives, liberals.. whatever they’re calling themselves today.Political correctness, hijacking the language.
23. Shoe Size: 13
24. Birthday: Every year, same day & I get to share it with one of my sons.

[Bookwoman]

Lucky, you have outdone yourself! It made my day to see your post this morning!

[Bookwoman]

1. What city do you live: Rochester
2. What do you do: Consult
3. How many siblings do you have: 3 brothers
4. Any children - how many: 1 girl, 1 boy
5. Thing That Last Made You Laugh: Silliness Thread
6. Biggest Fear: Fear itself.
7. Who is your hero: My grandmothers.
8. Curious - what religion do you practice: Christian
9. Dumbest Lie Ever Told: All lies are dumb.
10. Someone Funny who makes you laugh: Lucky9teen
11. Age: 65
12. Real first Name: Mary
13. Nicknames: Kay
14. Favorite Color: Blue or purple
15. Someone You Miss: My grandmother
16. Something You Regret Doing: Let me count the things... but I don’t have regrets really, because I do the best I can and chalk the rest up to temporary insanity.
17. Favorite movie: How can I answer? Airplane or UHF
18. Favorite Memory: Playing with my grandson
19. Favorite Holiday: Thanksgiving
20. Favorite Season: Spring once it stops raining and warms up. O also love fall, but it has too much ragweed!
21. Favorite Number: pi
22. Thing That Annoys You: Controlling people
23. Shoe Size: 9
24. Birthday: September something, but I usually tell people April 1st

[BenLurkin]

"Fishsticks are actually made from mermaids."

Awesome!

[Ingtar]

Thank you, kind sir!

[Ingtar]

but I usually tell people April 1st

Me too!

[Mechanicos]

In a Psychiatric Hospital, a Journalist asks the Doctor: “How do you determine whether to admit a person as a patient or not?

Dr: Well … we’d fill a bathtub with water and then give a teaspoon, a glass and a bucket to the patient and ask them to empty the bathtub.

Journalist: Oh, obviously a normal person would use the bucket because its bigger.

Dr: No, a normal person would pull the drain plug! Please go to bed #39. We will soon start further investigations on you.

[TADSLOS]

Finally IN!! Been travelling all day. Glad to see you stuck it out for one more week, Lucky. Too much material to let go to waste, as you stated.

[dayglored]

TOP 80!! WOO HOO!!

"80"? Oh, nevermind.

GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN LUCKY!!

[EQAndyBuzz]

Let’s Play 24 Questions

1. What city do you live: San Antonio
2. What do you do: Professional Athlete
3. How many siblings do you have: 1 sister
4. Any children - how many: 2, 1 daughter & 1 son
5. Thing That Last Made You Laugh: Al Gore talking about global warming in a snowstorm.
6. Biggest Fear: clowns
7. Who is your hero: Dad
8. Curious - what religion do you practice: Conservodox Jew
9. Dumbest Lie Ever Told: I’m a professional athlete
10. Someone Funny who makes you laugh: my son
11. Age: 56
12. Real first Name: Andy
13. Nick Names: EQ
14. Favorite Color: Marlboro red
15. Someone You Miss: My Dad
16. Something You Regret Doing: Vicodin
17. Favorite movie: deer hunter
18. Favorite Memory: Giants vs Cowboys Yankee stadium with my dad
19. Favorite Holiday: Passover
20. Favorite Season: Summer
21. Favorite Number: 7
22. Thing That Annoy you: liberals
23. Shoe Size: 11
24. Birthday: October 17

[a fool in paradise]

That's nothing, I was in bar one night that had a golden urinal.

Or at least I thought it was. Next day I learned I'd wandered backstage and that was a saxophone.

[MadMax, the Grinning Reaper]

#26. Scotty: Captain. I’ve been attacked by Frogs’ Eggs. Get me a super-phaser, now.”

[ExGeeEye]

Let me know when there’s one angled for viewing, with a charger (or at least a USB port).

I’ll know then that it’s time to retire to the cave and await the overthrow of civilization.