“I hate myself for it.”
That can happen when reality rubs your nose in the fact that you are as full of crap as a Christmas goose.
“I hate my sexist, wealthy, materialistic father”
Why, you smarmy ingrate. Just swallow the fact that you “broke the glass ceiling” as a special-privileges minority hire, and live on your husband’s salary.
“I hate that I want a more traditional lifestyle with a husband who can provide for me.”
Sounds like your husband can provide. What’s the matter, pride won’t let you live with less money? Stop, you’re breaking my heart.
“I don’t think I can be the financial provider and a mother.”
You can’t. That’s why God tells us not to do that unless we have to.
“And I hate that I would never look at my husband the same way if he was a stay-at-home dad.”
You would hate yourself for responding appropriately to the revelation that your husband is an honorary woman? How can one person get that screwed up?
Narcissism?